Forcing Eye Contact.

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Anyone ever force themselves to make eye contact? I know I tried my hardest to do so after my Boss basically told me I had to make eye contact. I can do it but I don't like it it's like the dream where you're in your underwear in the classroom and the teacher makes you stand up... I'm glad people have mouths and I have problems processing what they say unless i look at their mouth...

I did my best to do this when I was younger, ie pre-adolescence... what I recall distinctly is that my mother called attention to my avoidance of eye contact or glazed expression on several occasions and would ask me to make eye contact, then to stop at what appeared to be an arbitrary point - I never really got the appropriate times for contact on/contact off, so these days I usually just watch peoples' mouths or a point between their shoulder and their ear. Sometimes I still try the contact on/off trick, though, if I want to appear in control or fend off bullies. Doesn't seem to work very well. *shrug*

I've forced myself to make eye contact. At first I sit there thinking to myself "I'm making eye contact." As such I don't pay attention to what the other person is saying. Soon the visual sensation of the person's irises becomes too stimulating, and I have to remind myself to keep looking. After a few minutes I invariably forget entirely, and I end up staring to the right, as per usual.

I remember every time when someone of my family grumbling for not looking directly to their eyes, that and my monotonous voice, I worked a lot to fix this by doing some litle excercises to get used to do it. At the begining I started to look at they foreheads or their noses, still was dificult so I try with looking at their mouths, the ears, and at random places, but with this last one some people told me that I was acting more weird than before.

I try to make eye contact especialy when is an important conversation, thaking some small rests during conversations.

I read in a book that you can't always make eye contact all the time because if you look at their eyes a lot you can make them feel unconfortable or something else that you doesnt want to project or something like that.

Yes, as I said, I think it's interval-based - something like one-half to three seconds on, three to seven off. At least, that tends to get me by in most social situations, and it gives me a little time to breathe after making contact.
I tend to see things in terms of patterns and fractals, so if this doesn't make sense to anybody else (or if it seems like too much work to count in your head) then that's okay.

Yeah. Interviews, bosses, etc. Not working I don't bother much now, unless I have to interact with a cop.

I always had fantasies of sticking my hand down someone's pants upon them demanding eye contact. "You like that? You still feel entitled, a**hole? How do you like it?"

Never did anything like that for real, though.

I can't seem to find a happy medium...either I'm staring off into space (usually an indistinguishable spot on the floor) or, when I'm trying to make eye contact, staring intensely into their eyes, which can make people uncomfortable....

The conduit of auditory communication is SOUND...why do we have to LOOK at someone?

I rember this one time, that my dad was demanding eye-contact from me, when he was angry at me, at the age of 13. Let's just say, that I've avoided him a lot, after that. I was angry at him, and he wanted eye contact from me.

I have to force myself to make eye contact, but can't when I'm really angry or upset with the person. If I'm not making eye contact because the conversation is uncomfortable, I usually consciously think that I have to show them I'm listening at some point, look them in the eye and try to look engaged.

The only time I find myself spontaneously seeking eye contact (other than intimate moments--and I don't have those anymore) is when I really am having trouble understanding what the person is telling me, and my mind is spinning a hundred miles an hour on the facts or a concept that lost me when I should be concentrating on the feeling or gist of what the person is trying to communicate.

I find the eye contact overwhelming at the time, but it helps me deconstruct the conversation later. I can better read the feelings behind the words (given time and space to work that out), if I've looked in their eyes at key points. During the convo, though, sometimes it gets too intense. When it gets too intense I have to remember to look away, so I can follow the words.

It's easy for me to get stuck in either input, so I try to walk this tightrope all the time. Also, I don't want the person to think I'm shutting them out or down when I'm working really hard to follow them.

I would get smacked because I wouldnt look my father in the eye.

When It's forced, I lose track of what the person is saying.

I force myself to make eye contact at work, but I fear I may be staring too hard. I think some people may be uncomfortable with too much eye contact as well as too little.

Forcing eye contact on Aspies when they aren't supposed to make any kind of eye contact is damaging to their development.

technically on a world wide scale we out number so called "NT's" by about 17% there are more people in the world with a neurological disorder than without one therefore they should fit to our needs not vice versa plus as an aspie we are the ones that basically created there world. they owe us.

Eye contact is no problem, it is just the 1-2-3 basics of human communication in my case.

You just need to develop some mental filters that stop you actually seeing the person you're smiling and eyeballing.

When I put in a summer at McDs tills, I used to imagine a point just behind the back of their heads and have a conversation with that. Most customers tune you out anyway.

It is stressful though. I asked to work the kitchens rather than the till but they wouldn't let me. (Despite the fact that I could run the kitchen solo during the lunch rush and they had to pay two males to do it....apparently 'customers like females on the tills'.)

Think of it as an exercise in developing sophisticated 'noise' filters.