Not Aspie enough!

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The "Aspie" groups that I have located in my area appear to be simply groups of "Aspies" engaged in ordinary and vapid get-together activity and consumption according to a regular schedule. I can find no indication of howsoever characteristically "Aspie" interaction or networking of any such much touted "Aspie" culture, values and priorities.

But perhaps this forum might not be the right place for my query. Because judging from the other threads, what many of you apparently contend with and name 'Asperger's' is simply howsoever impaired emotional intelligence, not the alienation and dissident values that others likewise name 'Asperger's.'

Roughly where are you, and what would your ideal Aspie group look like, or get up to?

There's a distinct possibility that an ideal AS group would have a very small membership!

An AS group could be doing "ordinary" even "vapid" activities for at least two good reasons, though I'm not discounting the possibility of bad ones.

There might be a definite element of "practice", working towards easier interaction with the larger NT world, coupled with a setting where this can be done with possibly more understanding and less chance of rejecton and ridicule.

On the hand, I can see meetings with no specific purpose or structure devolving into vague and minimal activities. If I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing, I won't tend to do much.

Boston area.



Now I actually do have my own thoughts on the matter, upon which I will indeed post anon (and on, and on...), but after all the ballyhoo about "Aspie culture," I had even hoped that I mightn't need to reinvent that wheel entirely.



I couldn't say.



Too "remedial" as well as somewhat aimless and indirect. No thanks!



Pointless headgames. Bah, humbug!

If you can accept any ideas from someone who may or may not be AS but has qualities of AS and an AS son, I think that the ideal AS group would be a group centered around interests. It just makes sense that the interests that people have in common would be a great social outlet. No one in a group such as this is going to tell you that you are talking too much about trains, busses, soda pop, theology, philosophy or evolution.

When I think of a true "Aspie" friendship, I am reminded of Forrest Gump and Bubba. Bubba talked on and on about his special interest, shrimp, and Forrest listened. Of course, many AS folks, such as my son, would constantly try to insert information about his own interest and be nearly unable to actively listen to someone else's interest.

To get people together who share the same social deficits and expect them to get along would be tough. I guess I don't have the answer to your question. I think that people of all sizes and shapes should strive to connect and get along.

In practice, common interest is actually no guarantee at all. Indeed, nor is Forrest Gump my role model!

Forrest Gump is a role model to me. I wasn't insinuating he was anyone else's role model. Sorry if you took it that way.

What I meant was only that I find that model of friendship unsatisfying.

Yes, I agree that it would be a little sopsided and not too satisfactory!

In my son's case, with his emotional IQ being quite low, he is content with such a relationship.

I find that I must meet many people before I make contact with someone that I "click" with and it usually is not in groups, but seems to be happenstance.

Asperger's is an ever broadening envelope unto meaninglessness.

It depends on how you are with being with other people, regardless of whether they are autistic or not. Some Asperger's people are just happy to be with other people like themselves, that is enough for them.
In every group, however, there are probably a few people who would like to delve deeper into discussing Asperger culture, values and priorities. Make it known (even though it may be difficult) what you would like and see if there are any willing participants. Good luck with this.

.....And I do think you are lucky. There are no such groups anywhere near where I live.

No, I am not talking about exploration for it's own sake of my Aspergers as my ideal group activity.

Could you please rephrase the question?

If, by way of an example for purpose of analogy, one seeks a truly Jewish interaction, does that mean only deliberate self conscious exploration of Judaism, or wouldn't Judaism rather also be assumed as the given context for all other existential transaction and other business?

When I discovered my local Aspie group regular outing for dinner and a movie I was appalled! How ordinary and remedial! How Aspie is that? I yearn for anything more direct and fruitful, discarding dreary small talk, social climbing and all of life's wearisome "red tape." Aspie candor and directness just as advertised. Who knows what concrete form such might take, but can I really be the first to pose that very question?

For all the wailing and gnashing of teeth lambasting the ostensibly patronizing objectives of CAN, Cure Asperger's Now, the most mature, responsible and functional solution I've yet read on this or any Aspie forum is merely to sit tight and wait for society to recognize our special situation. What unmitigated question begging! And it only spurs me all the more to press the issue.

Also check out my other topic 'Aspie culture and Aspie candor: Hope or hokum?' at http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.htm ... sc&start=0

AaronAgassi

Isn't what you're seeking more along the lines of philosophy and ethics. There probably are some philosophy clubs, where they talk about meaning and culture and the meaning of culture.

If you want to talk about different styles of social interaction, the philosophy club might also be a good place to start. You'll probably find one associated with your local university.

I'm not sure if it would be possible for people with Aspergers to talk constructively about the way aspergers syndrome people relate compared to the way NT people relate. Well we might try but because of the fundamental differences, we might not ever reach a meaningful understanding.

You would have to include NT people in your discussion group to provide a reference point, to keep it real instead of making stuff up or creating suppositions about how things work.

And at this point it's not an Aspie group any more, is it?

Most groups work best with some purpose to the meetings. Clearly for your local aspie groups, it is social events with other aspies and without the pressures placed on by some NT people. These aspies are clearly not so interested in introspection, philosophy or psychology. That doesn't mean the topic wouldn't come up but it isn't their priority.

I guess you could start aspie philosophy and studies in human behaviour group if you wanted. But you might be the only one interested.

I do not wish merely to discuss different styles of interaction, but to put into practice.

If you want to learn and try out different styles of communication, with a view to overall improvement, then toastmasters is the organisation for you.

www.toastmasters.org

Given that it is about improving communication skills, it does attract a high proportion of socially inept - aspies even, and it has clear written guidelines for dealing with social ineptness. Not that every club follows the guidelines perfectly but they try. It also has detailed and well documented training programs for every level and many styles of communication especially the ones that involve words.

Club meetings are about practicing your communication styles, and evaluating how well you went in a postive and encouraging manner.

While they probably won't refer to Asperger's directly, you can use your own speeches to teach everyone in your club what it is about if you want. Or you can just work on your own skills and not worry about explaining Aspergers at all.