could facebook help improve social skills?

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paddy26
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09 Mar 2011, 7:33 pm

I'm just curious.



poppyfields
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09 Mar 2011, 8:01 pm

Well first you have to have someone to talk on faceback with. Sure I have facebook friends but they sure as hell don't care about me and in fact almost never comment on my status updates.

Secondly, communicating online is fine and dandy, but it isn't good practice for "the real world". You can't take a few moments to consider how to act, you are expected to show real interest, not just "like" things, it doesn't teach you anything about small talk, and the list goes on and on.

Also in order to really have some benefit, you need an external party who can tell you if you're being appropriate. Aspies often think they've acted normally when NTs think they're being awkward, so how would you know?



Bethie
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09 Mar 2011, 8:45 pm

1. There won't be any socializing at all unless you can find someone on there who will talk to you.
2. The vast majority of face to face interaction is made up of characteristics absent from text-
voice inflection, body language, facial expression, EYE CONTACT, etc.

But it's up to you.


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jamesongerbil
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09 Mar 2011, 10:05 pm

Yes, you'd be missing quite a bit. Then again, you can watch how people respond. Though it's occurring to me now that it's probably a little dependent on outside relationships with people. But hey, who knows. Not always, I'm sure.



Tsukimi
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10 Mar 2011, 11:04 am

I am not sure it is a good training because online communication is very diffrent from IRL one, but anyway I love getting to know people on FB since I can find friends with similar interests and connect regardless to age, location, status and other things that are a limit otherwise. I also can be much more open online than in my real life, because I run fewer risks.



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11 Mar 2011, 4:16 pm

Umm not really, cause u mostly interact thru commenting on peoples statuses, pics, writing on boards,etc. Most fb comments are shallow, complementary or jokingly. I communicate very well fb wise. In person its a whole different story.

However if u IM and make personal messages can help with knowing how to greet people and what to talk about in RL in a conversations. Thats it. Like any other online communication, its only words, NT communication is heavily beyond words.

At the most, fb might potentially help make people more aware of your presence.



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11 Mar 2011, 4:57 pm

I wouldn't write it off. I've learned a lot of the essence of communicating with others through online mediums. Communication is still communication, whatever the medium. There are lots of similarities between online and face to face communication. No doubt, there are also differences. But lessons learned from one sphere can very often be applied to another.

If you're not getting people talking to you on Facebook, that's a useful piece of information right there... so, what can you do to garner a response? Now you can start experimenting. If you know what people are responsive to on Facebook, not much difference in 'reality'.

The problems with real life, face to face communication tend to be about delivery, timing, rhythm, contact etc. which you can't really experience or play with over the internet in the same way.

If you're going to have a Facebook account, may as well try and learn something from it. But if you're only getting an FB account because of this, maybe I wouldn't.


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Last edited by Moog on 11 Mar 2011, 6:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Simonono
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11 Mar 2011, 5:46 pm

No. Although it is a great portal for unstoppable evil trolls to get through and unleash havoc on the cyber-world.



dc1
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13 Mar 2011, 3:39 pm

I don't have a good answer to that question, but I can say that it hasn't improved mine.

The same type of f***-ups I make in person, I've also made on Facebook. Maybe worse even. Because without real-time feedback of the appropriateness or inappropriateness of my diatribes, I go off in directions that I would otherwise reel back from in person.

Plus, when I'm overwhelmed by fatigue, I tend to write letters of a very personal nature, which can make people feel uncomfortable. And while sending a long Facebook message isn't any different functionally from writing a long e-mail, people can unfriend you on Facebook. And that hurts.

I think that Moog is correct in saying that trying it just as an experiment might not be the best idea. Someone suggested that exact thing to me a month ago, and now I feel worse than I would have if I hadn't hopped on. If you're going to try it, do it because you have some friends online that you want to talk to or keep in touch with, not just to arbitrarily test social skills.


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anon77
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16 Mar 2011, 1:24 am

I don't think it does too much, maybe help keep contact with people. My ex broke up by changing her fb status... I remember when breaking up though a phone call was considered just out of the question to do something that bad. And it wasn't a crappy relationship either...

If you want something somewhat similar for social skills, then get xbox live, ps3 online, or any online computer game. There you are with random people you can talk to and since theres something going on in a game, theres something to talk about right there. And if you mess up socially, you will very most likely never see these people in your lifetime.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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16 Mar 2011, 1:30 am

In my experience, no. I can more easily contact people I know in person, but facebook has a social protocol list all to itself.


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PlainJane28
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16 Mar 2011, 3:26 am

I've never used facebook. It seems like a place for social people, where you need some skill at it. But it's up to you I guess.



MCalavera
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16 Mar 2011, 6:42 am

paddy26 wrote:
I'm just curious.


Nothing on the Internet is going to help you with your social life unless it's a page of good solid social tips and advices to help you get your ass off the chair and go socialize in real life.

Of course, you could always be like me and just keep that ass on the chair posting on WP all day.



paddy26
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19 Mar 2011, 7:22 pm

Its not the same as going out but I'm starting to think it can help a little or at least put you in a social mood.



mra1200
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21 Mar 2011, 1:08 am

Facebook? Not so sure, but I think the internet in general CAN help us out. I think that my skills are a bit more polished with people because of the availability and use of electronic communication I've done over the last 16 years. It's mainly helped meet some people in the real world, but given me an outlet to be able to talk to people about things, sometimes anything really. I still find there's a big drop off in my ability to communicate in person, but I think it's much better than it could have been without it.


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21 Mar 2011, 2:19 pm

I don't really use facebook that much but never say never it might be possible.