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IceBoxJoker
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18 Jun 2011, 11:58 pm

Whenever I see someone who makes a mistake or has their facts messed up in a social setting, I always feel compelled to correct them. I know other's often perceive this as being rude or a know-it-all, but I would want someone to correct me if I was wrong in saying something. How do you react when someone tells gossip you can prove to be incorrect or has misinformed someone of important knowledge? Thank you.


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Claradoon
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19 Jun 2011, 2:30 am

I found out that people would rather be wrong. They are not speaking because they think they're right - they're speaking for the sake of speaking, for the sake of sociability. They're speaking because they don't want to be left out. But they don't care if it's correct. It's considered bad manners to correct somebody. I really think nobody cares (except you and me). I wonder if it has anything to do with them not being sure of anything, and us sitting around with facts and figures and trivia spouting out of us without effort.

The exception, I think, would be gossip. That's a moral decision. If they're dissing somebody, and you can clear their good name, I think maybe you should. Or maybe turn the conversation around to something else.



IDontGetIt
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19 Jun 2011, 2:42 am

I often have to remind myself that "It doesn't matter, they are happy to be wrong, leave them to their ignorance". Yes, it upsets people to be corrected. Conversely, other people find it amusing that someone has been corrected, or maybe they are relieved that someone else has had a weakness exposed, typical of NT pack behaviour.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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19 Jun 2011, 2:58 am

Over the years, I've learned to only correct someone if we are having an in-depth discussion or if I know they don't mind it. Otherwise, I come off as pedantic and snobbish.


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daedal
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19 Jun 2011, 3:42 am

This was one of my most irritating traits when I was younger. For other people, I mean.
As soon as I was talking, I was correcting grammar, we have home videos. I was not a fun person to baby talk around! :D
When I was in school and we worked in groups, I was always pointing out wrong spellings or things...a little later I started correcting the teacher's writing on the board...what an obnoxious child! But I didn't feel all high and mighty, I just felt the need to tell them, lol. Not really a need, but it just came out.
In secondary school, which was a v. different environment, I quickly learned to shush and not say anything (and even the English teachers made mistakes there!). The few times I did do it, I got sat on (not literally), so even now if someone asks for French grammar help, I'm scared to point out their mistakes. The habit's pretty much broken now, although I'm still a complete pedant when it comes to grammar, only with my family, though. It's a point of interest, since we're none of us native speakers, but if they've had enough they'll definitely tell me!
I can talk about many more general things with my family because I know they'll make allowances, but also I know they won't hesitate to tell me off. Whereas other people will just exchange Looks and not bother again.



IceBoxJoker
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19 Jun 2011, 4:29 am

Thank you for the clarification, everyone. I suppose social acceptance is more important than having silly details corrected in most situations. Let the lip biting begin! :P


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League_Girl
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19 Jun 2011, 4:32 am

It drives me crazy when people are wrong. If I don't know they are wrong, then it won't drive me crazy. I am always correcting peoples grammar in my head. But I am always correcting my husband and when he gets facts wrong.



keira
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19 Jun 2011, 4:51 am

I always want to correct others but I know better know. Anyway, it kills me inside to keep quiet when someone's wrong.



Klokateer666
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19 Jun 2011, 5:56 am

keira wrote:
I always want to correct others but I know better know. Anyway, it kills me inside to keep quiet when someone's wrong.

You used the word know instead of now :wink:


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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19 Jun 2011, 6:01 am

IceBoxJoker wrote:
Thank you for the clarification, everyone. I suppose social acceptance is more important than having silly details corrected in most situations. Let the lip biting begin! :P


That is, unless you don't want friends. :P


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keira
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19 Jun 2011, 7:05 am

Klokateer666 wrote:
keira wrote:
I always want to correct others but I know better know. Anyway, it kills me inside to keep quiet when someone's wrong.

You used the word know instead of now :wink:


Oops! :lol: :oops:
Thank you for correcting me. ;)



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19 Jun 2011, 9:50 am

I tend to have an uncomfortable internal meltdown if I do not say anything. People who believe themselves to be experts on everything are the worst and I try to avoid them, because they seemingly hate to be corrected the most. Sometimes I can switch off from the conversation and examine something I am interested in and enjoy in my mind, I find it a lot easier to achieve with more than one person present. I worry a little that this withdrawing might not be very good for me, but it makes me feel a lot better, even happy.



TenPencePiece
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19 Jun 2011, 10:19 am

It is always tempting, but if it isn't likely to have a positive effect, I can refrain.


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Damiano
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19 Jun 2011, 8:38 pm

I find if I can say it in the right way it can be fine. Normally what I do is:

"Oh really? That's strange because I learned that.../I heard that.../ etc" Refrasing it to be a different opinion or standpoint that differs from theirs, rather than saying that they are wrong and you are right seems to get more positive social responses.

While saying that, you can think in your head "YOUR WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!! !!" all you want :) I know I do



Downtown
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21 Jun 2011, 7:46 pm

When I was younger I used to correct people and be a smart aleck, but I realized that was annoying so I stopped.

I tend to be good at finding errors when reading/noticing things etc., but I usually just notice it or mention it to my parents.



LadySera
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23 Jun 2011, 3:02 am

Yes, people hate that. I used to do it when I was younger until I realized this. My last job actually involved a lot of fact finding so I know a lot of trivia about nothing including stuff I'm not even interested in. Some of my family knows this & when they would occasionally wonder about something & ask me for the info & then I tell them they still want to argue about it. I find that completely ridiculous. Personally I also don't believe in arguing over preference which is something that a lot people want to do & I pass on.