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How many close friends do you have?
0 close friends 41%  41%  [ 52 ]
1-2 close friends 40%  40%  [ 51 ]
3-4 close friends 14%  14%  [ 18 ]
5+ close friends 5%  5%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 127

Ai_Ling
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03 Nov 2011, 6:03 pm

I was wondering how many close friends most aspies have if any at all. And what would you consider a close friend?

Heres some of my criteria for a close friend:
1) Been friends for at least 8 months.
2) Someone who's always there for you.
3) Someone who genuinely likes you doesnt try to change you.
4) Someone who you can talk about a lot of different things with.
5) Someone who you can call or text to do whatever, whenever and it isnt weird.
6) Someone who you form connections with around multiple different things not just 1 or 2 activities or because of mutual friends.
7) Someone who you can confide in.

I have 3 close friends.

Edit: I realize some of you guys are basing this on my criteria, but how many close friends do you have based on your own criteria. I'm surprised that some people actually have 5+.



Last edited by Ai_Ling on 05 Nov 2011, 3:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

keira
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03 Nov 2011, 6:06 pm

I have one. I've never been able to keep more than one close friend at a time.



Radiofixr
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03 Nov 2011, 6:16 pm

Had on friend in high school who was more like my brother than my real brother-just said one day never visit again-do not know what I did-another on a fellow aspie whom I have always been there for when the day has gone bad and was there for them no matter what basically doesn't like things about my personality and listed a few even though I found nothing wrong with their personality at all-it hurt-I guess we are still "friends" but I am sure another better friend is more of a fit or more beneficial or has a better personality than mine.


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wanderinggrl
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03 Nov 2011, 8:00 pm

I have one.



CosmicRuss
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03 Nov 2011, 8:32 pm

Image



MissAwkward
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03 Nov 2011, 8:36 pm

0 :cry:



anneurysm
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03 Nov 2011, 11:58 pm

I counted 12 according to the OP's criteria...though many of these people are far away now and I can't see them as often as I'd like...but when I get together with each of these people, it's like we've never left, and we talk about everything. Because of this, I'm not sure I'd call most of them "close" friends in terms of proximity, but in terms of our level of communication and our level of acceptance of each other, we are close. I need to do better with keeping in touch with people though, as I am an extreme introvert when I'm not directly hanging around with people.


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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


angel_amy
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04 Nov 2011, 2:00 am

I have no close friends :( Maybe that will change next year :)



Ai_Ling
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04 Nov 2011, 2:47 am

anneurysm wrote:
I counted 12 according to the OP's criteria...though many of these people are far away now and I can't see them as often as I'd like...but when I get together with each of these people, it's like we've never left, and we talk about everything. Because of this, I'm not sure I'd call most of them "close" friends in terms of proximity, but in terms of our level of communication and our level of acceptance of each other, we are close. I need to do better with keeping in touch with people though, as I am an extreme introvert when I'm not directly hanging around with people.


Are they all close friends by your standards is what matters. Sure thats my standards. I was also wondering what are other peoples standards of a close friend.



Ilka
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04 Nov 2011, 7:45 am

My husband only has 1, and me, his wife. My 11 years-old daughter has none yet, but she is working on it. She is commited to find a friend.



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04 Nov 2011, 9:32 am

I like your criterias a lot and probably will use them.

Following them I have many many acquaintances but no close friends though. Nobody I know meets that second criteria; i.e, someone I would think during my distress and going to them knowing they will receive me.

It sucks to be a commuter in an urban college (Wayne State University in Detroit, MI).


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J-P
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04 Nov 2011, 4:59 pm

0 for me :(



Ilka
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04 Nov 2011, 8:18 pm

I am not sure about your criteria. I do agree with 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6, but I do not agree with #3. My husband is my best friend, and he tries to change me. I try to change him too. We need to change, because we are not perfect. If you have a true friend and he sees something you need to change in order to be a better person, that friend should be able to tell you and try to help you evolve. Evolving is the only way to grow.



Radiofixr
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04 Nov 2011, 9:20 pm

Ilka wrote:
I am not sure about your criteria. I do agree with 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6, but I do not agree with #3. My husband is my best friend, and he tries to change me. I try to change him too. We need to change, because we are not perfect. If you have a true friend and he sees something you need to change in order to be a better person, that friend should be able to tell you and try to help you evolve. Evolving is the only way to grow.

I would prefer to look past the faults and focus and nurture the positives. Some negatives-like some of my autistic behaviors I just can't seem to improve no matter how hard I try.


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Ai_Ling
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05 Nov 2011, 3:18 am

Ilka wrote:
I am not sure about your criteria. I do agree with 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6, but I do not agree with #3. My husband is my best friend, and he tries to change me. I try to change him too. We need to change, because we are not perfect. If you have a true friend and he sees something you need to change in order to be a better person, that friend should be able to tell you and try to help you evolve. Evolving is the only way to grow.


Sure you can make some changes in trying to accomidate for each other which create a better relationship, but the person shouldn't be trying to change your core being. They shouldn't like you in hopes that you can become something better.

For me, I had a negative experience with a friend who didn't actually appreciate me and wanted me to be something different so that's one of the biggest reasons why I listed #3. I feel its very important for a close friend to have an genuine appreciation for the core of who you really are. If they don't and they find nothing but flaws then the friendships(or relationships) gonna die.



DC
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05 Nov 2011, 4:04 am

A grand total of zero.

I have a lot of people that ask me to fix their computer and don't pay me, does that count?