Uninteresting

Post Reply New Topic

Usually when I am in a conversation and I bring up a story with the topic, people will just say, in a boring tone, "Cool."

Example

Someone: What's that?
Jordan: It's "Iwojima", a statue of men placing an American flag. I took photos and have them somewhere in my messy desk.
Someone: ...cool...

Then there's this

Someone: Yeah, I've never been to a barn in my life.
Someone else: I have a barn, and I have milked cows.
Someone: Holy crap, seriously? What's it like?
Jordan: ...(why don't my stories come off as interesting? Iwojima is more interesting than milking a cow.)

What in the...? What happened? What did I do? Any ideas?

yeah, I get this too. But then again, NT have more general interests. Talking about Iwo Jima wouldn't be interesting because it is too specific for them(as far as i understand). Or ,maybe they simply can't think of anything to further comment on iwo jima becuase they know nothing of it. Most people like to tell stories that are interesting but doesn't require intellect such as cow milking. Casual talk is not meant to be intellectual.

'Casual talk is not meant to be intellectual'.

I just figured this out the other day. xD

But I hate casual talk.

It's really likely that they have no idea what Iwojima is.

yeah, i would love to be in casual conversation at times but i have no interesting things. i've gotten so desperate that i'll makes things up.

Because it's something people can share and relate to.

Right on.

I understand this totally. A lot of times I can get lucky with saying something that neither 1) causes people to stop and stare, or 2) bores them so much they forget their eardrums vibrated at all. But my mind races, races, races, just to come up with "normal" things to say, and especially "normal" ways to say them. By the way, all you people look like people (your facial expressions, those of you with photos), and write like me. It's like discovering my vast, long-lost family. I'm home!! !

Unless they didn't sleep through history class...there are a few of those.

Casual talk irritates me to no end. Unless it's not of interest to me, I have to tune it out or sit there disgusted. It's a socially crippling experience.

I think the Iwojima topic sounds really interesting but I think the key thing here is that it is a historical piece of information that some NT's would find quite dry. Milking a cow is an experience, people are interested to know what happened during this encounter;what it felt like to touch the udders, was it difficult to express the milk, was it weird etc its a topic of conversation that has a shared interest.

It's terrible, but I switch off when people tell me about their own or their cousins/aunties/sisters/whoevers health problems, relationship problems, happy news, or otherwise. I get extremely uncomfortable having to feign some sort of emotive response when in reality I don't give a rats tosser. Does that make me incredibly selfish? I used to be told so by my darling mother who was not able to understand me for many years. I know it is not my fault now, and it helps.....

NT's have no sense of history. They have absolutely not a clue. They have to know all about the latest plastic celebrity, or which celebrity has broken up with some other celebrity. They're only interested in the most superficial nonsense.

BTW, it's Iwo Jima.

Yes the world would be a much better place if people had real interests and could learn from each other instead of indulging in mindless gossip and empty chit-chat.

I tend to keep my mouth shut in conversations as I've got nothing that'll the NTs will like so, I go along with theirs and mostly listen to what their saying.

Not saying you should, Jordan but I'm just giving you my feedback.

I guess this is what leads us Aspies (with AS) to be antisocial (AS). After a while it all becomes too much effort, and hurtful as well. Its easier to avoid social situations.

Most mainstream NTs from my experience socializing with them, like to mainly talk about things that are media/socially orientated, such as:

Fashions, Trends, Entertainment, Current Affairs, Weather, Local Issues, etc whatever the Media is shoving down their throats mainly.

Or simply personally related to them or someone they know, like:

What they've done, what someone else did, what they do for a living, what happened to them on the weekends, etc

If you try to get into a conversation with them that's more complicated than that, that's when it becomes a problem. I've confused a lot of NTs with the complicated concepts I would like to talk about, so I refrain from doing so because it's pointless. In my strategy, I just stick to what works in society and talk about casual matters like NTs do. I occasionally throw in my complicated concepts or views at times, but only when the conversation gets deeper and that's not very often.

If you want to talk with most people but want to say things about what interests you; you should filter the level of detail of anything you say to them. There's one rule of thumb to follow when someone asks you a simple and social question, and that is to give a simple and social answer. Also it's good to add a question after your answer to provoke more conversation; unless the person doesn't look interested after you said the answer.

To use the situation you presented as an example,

Instead of:
It's "Iwojima", a statue of men placing an American flag. I took photos and have them somewhere in my messy desk.

I recommend:
It's the "Iwo Jima" statue, I also have taken photos of it in real life. Have you also seen any landmarks in real life?

The problem is that, you'll need to try to experience this strategy and refine it until you find it easier to socialize with others. It's not guaranteed to work for complicated talks, because unfortunately as I stated above, it's mostly about media/socially orientated or personal discussion when it comes to socializing NTs.

I also have very little tolerance for mindless chit-chat about Celebrity Big Brother, when I'd rather be talking about Vietnam. However... if it's happening right next to me, I do try to join in a little, even if it's just with a few caustic remarks (since that seems to be the general point of celebrity gossip...). Sports are another minefield area, but I can easily steer clear of that by not saying anything.

Talking about personal stuff I can do, though. It's the talking to others about their personal stuff that often eludes me...