Lying in social situations... anyone else?

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In a couple of weeks I'm starting a social and communicative skills for autistic people course so I've really been thinking about my social life (when I still had one haha) and started wondering about the following. Aspies are known for being very honest, and that being said, I'm an "PDD-NOS"er, so this may actually be one of those big differences but let's see if anyone can relate.

As I'm typing this I realize there's several levels to my deception so sorry if the following doesn't have a storyline and is a random mess of sentences.

Getting people to like me (by direct interaction):
I've always pretty much lied about almost everything in the sense that most of my "this one time" stories were completely made up, or based upon something uneventful and exaggerated/added too to make it appear "something". This sort off automatically happened whenever I found myself in a "group". If I did nothing "over the weekend", I'd say I went out fishing with my dad and uncle. If I actually went fishing with my dad and uncle I'd add some extra part that didn't really happen to make it sound more special. I didn't feel I had control over this part at all, I always meant to tell just what happened but as I noticed people weren't interested or someone else had something way cooler to tell something in me just had to over do it. -Anything- to get people to like the story.

Getting people to believe me:
Another side but similar to above is when trying to get people to believe or trust me. Like in most of my "damsel in distress" attempts I would lie about having cousins or "other friends" with problems in the area "the damsel" would have in an attempt to get "the spill the beans" pretty much. In other situations where I felt I made a valid argument but wasn't get believed or trusted, I would lie about my source of the information. This went pretty far, for example giving my dad all sorts of "high" jobs so "I'm seeing it from a master level". Or pretending like I had a "even level" talk with my boss about "a job" instead of overhearing it. Anything to get people to believe what I was saying.

Getting people to like/form a certain opinion about me (by making them put certain things together to come to a conclusion)
Another side was planting little seeds everywhere and I think mastered this really well. This was primarily to raise my image in the sense that I'd casually mention having done something here and do something to back it up there. Things like very casually mentioning having beat up "some" kids, but not over doing it by pretending I got hurt too, and then sometimes pretending to "not know my own strength" by breaking/bending stuff around school. And on moments were people were doing drugs, I'd pull of a "I've already tried it, but didn't like it, I'll stick to weed", and would get believed because I previously casually mentioned having an older friend in Amsterdam I visited last month, which was half true, as I did have an older friend in amsterdam but all we did was play world of warcraft, and well smoke weed. But also things like making sure to touch my ankle for the rest of the day if I had pretended to sprain it to get out of gymnastics.



The thing I feel most ashamed about is the lying to get people to believe me, as many times it backs me into corners that I cannot get out. I mean, lieing about falling in the water when you didn't, or saying you got into a fight with other fishers and telling about the supposed chase and maybe even tipping over their boat if people are on my lips is one thing, but some things went too far:
Random person 1: "We are going camping in Sweden and I read you can camp anywhere for free there!"
Random person 2: "Nah, my uncle went there and had to pay for it"
Random person 1: "Well I don't know for sure, that's what I read, but you may be right"
Me: "No no guys, person 1 is right, you can camp anywhere for free in Sweden, as long as you follow certain guidelines, it actually helps nature by spreading out people's use of the forest, of course there may be campingsites with power and swimming pools that you need to pay for but that's not really camping."
Random person 2; "Uhh, my uncle and aunt said they went all around for 3 weeks and had to pay everywhere so I don't know where you are getting your information from"
Me: "Uhh... Well... uhh.. I went to Sweden myself.... ?..."
Random person 2: "Oh is that right, you probably just got lucky for not getting caught"
Me: "Dude I tracked around for 4 weeks with a guide and everything and met all kinds of Swedish people and other foreigners that were also camping outside, for free."
Random person 2: "Oh well I guess you are right then"
Me: "Yeah I know, you can look it up when you get back home to see I am correct"
Random person 1: "Oooh cool! Could you give me the names of that guide's company and the area you were in, what places did you visit, did you have to get an injection?"
Me: "Uhh.. well the guide died and he was a close friend so I don't like talking about it"
Random person 1 and 2: "Hmmmmmmmm..... hmmmm.... hmmmm.... ooooookayy.."

Depending on the situation and people I'd may or may not then go home and research an actual camping trip to sweden and give random person 1 the information he/she asked for later, saying how the previous talk about it got me so off guard and thinking about that guide that I was totally flabbergasted.. I even cried myself to sleep that evening thinking about my good friend..


I mean.. all people sometimes spice up their stories, I get that.. it's what all comedians do. And looking back now I suppose all boys/girls sometimes do stuff "accidentally on purpose", like girls accidentally putting/leaving in mom's diamond earrings, or boys doing everything to make their wallet show it has a condom in it.


Anyone else feel like a pathological liar at times or do I need to get some serious help.. again.. and add pseudologia fantastica, mythomania or straight out patholigical lying to my diagnosis?

I have to add I don't lie anywhere else. Like I even always put in my actual date on websites that ask it of me, and don't make up stuff about anyone else, obey -all- traffic laws, all that stuff. Just when I'm talking about "myself" in social "small talk" situations with peers.

Hardly able to lie. only able to withhold information.

I don´t mind if people spice a story up but I would not like being lied to like that. I guess it would put me off speaking to the person again (sorry, trying not to be personal, as I have no idea how you are as a real peroson)
I don´t think it is a good idea, as you write yourself, it can put you in all kinds of Awkward situations

All. The. Time.
Mostly I do it by ommission, pretending interest when in actuality I am bored almsot to death. Also, when someone asks how I feel I lie because if I listed every ache and pain, followed by emotions, they would run screming. And the "what are you thinking" is always hard to answers; If I told the truth, like "I'm thinking that piece of beef in you teeth reminds me of a kangaroo" then I would likely get in big trouble.

I think this is really common. I used to tell tiny lies (can't manage big ones, and i can't lie "on the spot" unprepared) routinely in social situations. My reason for it was that my life was not one you shared with other people, and if you just don't answer normal questions people will guess the answer or speculate - you will stand out/draw attention to your self which is bad . So I lied. I hated it, really hated it no matter how small the lie was I felt weak for not being totally honest or just shutting up. So I know how you feel even if you seem to be telling lies a bit differently then I used to. No matter the reason and no matter what lies you tell (or how good you are at it, you seem to very skilled at it), it feels awful.

Oh and you weren't lying about camping being free in Sweden btw . It is, we have allemansrätten ("the right of all men" sort of).

Good luck. You can break the habit.

Everyone lies.

When people say they "f****d 20 b*****s" divide by 2 at least.

I started doing this to a lesser extent for a bit during the middle of the summer, didn't realize I was until near the end of the summer. As soon as I realized, I stopped. I really hope I never start again. Ever. It got to the point where I could tell a lie almost without noticing it.

People tend to look at me weird if I lie while I talk to them. Unless we're both lying. Plus, it sorta hurts my neck to have to look up at them from the floor.

I hate being lied to, so I try not to lie to others. In the cases where I do lie to people, I usually feel bad afterwards (the only exception to this rule is if we're playing a lying game, where there is a truth in the end of it all). Now, I just go for the truth. If I have to withhold something, I'll say something along that lines. But if all people want are sugar-coated lies, they're looking in the wrong place and asking the wrong person for them.

I used to stretch the truth a bit by leaving out information in stories I've told that reflected badly on me. Pretty much the only times I would lie outright were the times when my mom asked me if I was reading when I was supposed to be doing something else. I feel guilty for not telling the truth when people aske me how I'm doing and I say that I'm fine.

I am not good at big lies, but I will lie on occasion to try and save someone's feelings (not that good at it, but I give it a try.) I have also learned when to let things go because arguing them further will only make the situation worse, no matter who is right. All that being said, people comment on my high level of honesty all the time, and it is pretty rare for me to need to lie.

I hate lying. Unfortunately, I also happen to be very good at it. All good lies have a grain of truth so I've heard.
I don't lie outright, mostly they're lies of omission or lies of distraction (omission being leaving something out of the info you're relating, and distraction being offering another piece of info to distract or misguide them).
It seems impossible to get through life without lying, though I try to minimize it. One thing that helps is to be completely honest with yourself. You start believing your own lies, you're in big trouble.

Just wondering

A lot of people here (including myself) states that the simple act/lie of saying that you are fine, when asked "how are you" is considered lying. I know that it is a social convention but even that small lie is difficult for me.

Do NT´s feel like that or don´t they think about it. I think I am going to ask NT friends

I never tell anyone I am fine. I don't know why but it just is hard to say when I am depressed, etc. I always say "pretty good" or "okay" instead since they are far more nebulous terms. I guess it's a form of obfuscation. After all, many things are usually good in my life at any given time but if I am depressed then I am not fine. Pretty good is a better descriptor and does not usually raise any questions.

I'm beginning to think that when NTs do that, they are not truly asking about your emontional condition, but merely opening the door for light-hearted conversation, or small talk. The human being tends towards being a herd animal, and as such enjoys hobnobbing with other humans.

When I was a youngin'.
It wasn't about making myself out to be something better than I was.
It was about deceiving and seeing what I could convince people.
Something concurrent in many aspies.
I'd convince kids on the block I had a completely different first name.
Tell them outlandish tales to see what I could trick people with.
It was a tad odd, but noT many ever caught on.
A select few did, but I turned it back around on them.
I was a total sociopath and narcissest growing up, yup.
Kids have large imaginations, I had something else.