Ouch!

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Hi:

I had recently re-connected with someone via FB after we had a nasty fight last summer and allowed each other to breath.

We had not seen each other in a year and we had been talking mainly on the social network for the most part while she called me a few times.


She happened to come home to her parent's house this past weekend for a family gathering at their house since it was her birthday on Sunday. I was not invited as a result. She also has been home all week and has not bothered to contact me to see if I am available either. So I asked her if she was in town. She seemed to put up the stop sign with me as well by giving me a load of excuses.

"I am busy all weekend."

"I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, church show on Saturday, and then I go home on Sunday. You can send my present in the mail when I get back though." When I read that, I said, "Ouch," to myself.

It was at that point that we had a discussion that it would be the best for the both of us if we did not speak to one another anymore. It was even during this chat that she said some other things that really bothered me and so I feel that this is all for the best.

I thought she was a friend.

And she still expects a present from you? If I were you, I'd not waste my money.

Oh don't worry, LOL. I don't have anything left in me to have any obligation to try and sent her a present.

If she cannot take the time to get together with me then what is the point of getting a gift for her? Very inappropriate.

During our discussion, I mentioned to her that I did not feel she had been so nice to another friend of mind and she took her barb and stabbed me pretty hard. This was by saying, "Oh, tell her that I send my sincerest apologies." At first I was going to but after two minutes, I realized that it was another glass shard.

It sounds like she is busy all weekend.

Lol:

She just seems to do this just about every time she is in town as to where she never contacts me to want to get together. Then her mother and I are not on the greatest terms either.

As for the present situation, that is a little strange

It seems like you are the only one who actually cares about the relationship, and if she really is a cruel as you say then don't worry about her. Focus on spending time with your real friends (like the one you were willing to stand up for)

She and I started having problems last year and it seemed to get worse before I let her go. Then we when re-connected on FB she had kept saying things that were empty.

"Let's get together," and "When are you going to come to see me?"

Then when it really boils down to it, she goes and pulls this and especially after she seemed to have a clinging problem with me before I cut her off for a while. IE- She called me non stop if I did not contact her when she wanted.

So I don't really get why she is choosing to pull this and you know what? I may never get it. Then again, her mother is really nasty and mean and seems to let her do whatever she wants.

She likes being in power. Don't cooperate.

As a result of what??

Is it possible your expectations of her was too high too soon? You've had a major falling out and so far, you've been able to re-connect via FB and phone. There has been no suggestion of any get-together, prior to her coming home for her party, so what made you think she was ready/willing to see you face-to-face? Why would you assume she'd invite you to a family birthday party? Maybe what you needed to do first was rebuild that trust and not rush into things. It almost seems as if - because she was in town, she was expected to spend time with you -or- cut her out of your life. Maybe she was making excuses to avoid hurting your feelings.

Confronting her probably put her in defense mode and no one sounds nice in that position. I can imagine what that phone call sounded like and I'm not sure she'd be at fault for it.

As for her present comment .. that's just tacky.

No I asked her if she was in town for a week or so and she said, "Yeah, but I am busy all weekend. I am so sorry."

As for the birthday party situation, she originally invited me along with several others to a gathering where she goes to campus. I even got the invitation. Then her parents decided to take her home for the family gathering which I was not invited. Why would I be invited? I am not a member of the family along with the fact that her parents don't seem to like me that well.

Why they don't? I have no idea.

Again, she kept asking me when I would visit her when she was down on campus and seeming to contact me non-stop. "When are you going to talk to me?"

People just make no sense sometimes.

Weird. This seems to be an entire different story now. Looks like you've answered your own question though .. you weren't invited to her family gathering because her parents don't like you that much -or- because you are not family. Either way, I'm not sure why you're cutting her out of your life again?

You could send her a mirror as a present. So she can always look in it and see her best friend.

I have this same problem. WHy do people have to be "nice" and say they want to spend time with you and then keep having excuses about why they can't spend time with you when they really don't want to see you? This happens to me a lot where I think someone wants to be my friend because they say we should hang out but they're just being polite. It's so unkind, it's so mis-leading and confusing! How the hell do know who you can trust? Right now I have a friend who I;m trying to figure out whether she's trying to distance herself from me or not by doing such things. Okay, I understand tact in terms of telling someone you like a present they gave you because they already bought it and gave it to you and it'll only hurt them to tell them you hate it and not accomplish anything but it's not tactful to tell someone "we should get together" when you don't want to see them. It's deceptive and f*****g annoying!

Weird. This seems to be an entire different story now. Looks like you've answered your own question though .. you weren't invited to her family gathering because her parents don't like you that much -or- because you are not family. Either way, I'm not sure why you're cutting her out of your life again?[/quote]


Of course I did answer my own question which is something did not mean to do. I also did not cut her out of my life again because of the situation with her parents. I managed to do such because she just kept blowing me off with excuses after making it like she wanted to see me. This was while she was on campus.

She kept telling me that she wanted me to come visit her and since she is living on campus and then invited me to her birthday party that she originally wanted to throw on campus.

Then when things boiled down to it, she made it clear that she had no time for me and said that about the present.

Daydreamer88- I never even got her a present or a card and I am not going to since she decided to play with my emotions like that. Why would I do something like that? Her behavior was something of what a young child would do. Then again, she and her mother are very selfish miserable people who enjoy making others feel that way because of such.

^^
No, I agree with your decision not to talk to her or give her a present. I'm just saying it was very annoying of her to brush you off in that way.