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FabulousAspie
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29 Jun 2014, 6:57 pm

If this is already covered in a different thread I apologize. I couldn't find it anywhere.

If someone if crying what is the appropriate response both verbally and physically? I have always had trouble with this and am afraid of coming off as rude or uncaring when it comes to tears.


EDIT: I should've been more specific. What visual things (for example facial expressions, leaning forward/back, eyebrows, etc.)



Last edited by FabulousAspie on 29 Jun 2014, 7:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

zer0netgain
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29 Jun 2014, 7:03 pm

I generally cross to the other side of the street. :lol:

The problem with reaching out is if you are comfortable with committing to try and help when you don't know where it's going to lead.



cathylynn
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29 Jun 2014, 7:13 pm

i'm assuming you're talking about someone you know. "i'm sorry you're so sad. can i give you a hug? if you want to talk, i would be happy to listen."



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29 Jun 2014, 7:23 pm

If it's someone I know. Ask them what is wrong and listen to them talk. If I have any advice, give it to them.


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auntblabby
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29 Jun 2014, 8:35 pm

I suspect I could use improvement in this regard.



Andrejake
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29 Jun 2014, 8:46 pm

I want to read some answers about that too and not just about crying but also for when someone say something really sad that they are going through.



auntblabby
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29 Jun 2014, 8:48 pm

just listen mindfully.



kraftiekortie
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30 Jun 2014, 7:53 am

I would pretty much do as LeagueGirl suggests.



Golubaya_Krov
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30 Jun 2014, 9:22 am

If it is someone I know, I would try to ask if I can, but usually in those moments, I feel emotionally numb and I just stuck there, flinched.
Problem is when it's a stranger, sometimes I have an inadequate facial expression. I might smile then get a big pound in the heart. Not to say, I prefer to avoid that kind of scene as much as possible.



Kiriae
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30 Jun 2014, 10:22 am

I usually ask what happened and then give any advice I can think of. But it doesn't work well...
For example recently my mom was crying because she broke her favorite garden sculpture (she considered it a "a fairy of this garden" and personified it). I told her it is just a sculpture, the shops still sell copies of this so she can buy a new one. She was still crying that it won't be the same so and I looked at the sculpture closely and I told my mom that dad should be able to fix it and there won't be too visible where it was broken (and I was right about it, the sculpture is fixed now). But explaining it to her also didn't help much - she was still crying. So I gave up and went home.



Nathaniel_90
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30 Jun 2014, 11:16 am

Sometimes all you need to do is put your arm around their shoulders. They might come in for a hug so be receptive.

If you're not big on physical contact then I concur with people saying that you just need to ask what's wrong and listen with an open mind.



nick007
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01 Jul 2014, 1:49 am

League_Girl wrote:
If it's someone I know. Ask them what is wrong and listen to them talk. If I have any advice, give it to them.
That's what I do


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IreneS
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03 Jul 2014, 11:31 am

If it's someone you know, you might want to hug them (only if you're comfortable with it). You can start by putting a arm around their shoulders and see how they react. If they move in opposite direction, don't hug. If they move towards you, hug. They might start to cry even more when you hug them. This is a sign that their letting go of the emotional build-up, not that you're doing anything wrong. You can also slowly stroke their back with the palm of your hand while hugging. Be aware of any signal that the hug should end, like that the person is tensing up or moving away from you.

Wait to talk until the sobbing slows down, then you can back away a bit from the person but still maintain a little bit of physical contact (a hand on their lower arm, for example), and look them in the eyes with a worried expression on your face (don't smile, at least), and ask them what's wrong. When the person tells you, the most important thing is generally to listen. I often try to work out the problem the other is having, but many times people just want to share their load and express how they feel, so advice might not be necessary (unless they explicitly ask you what you think they should do, of course).



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05 Jul 2014, 8:00 pm

Administer a swift slap to the face followed by: "snap out of it". Alternatively threaten to give them something to cry about.

This is callous and somewhat contextual joke

Scenario:walk into friend's room and friend is crying

"Heeey what's wrong"?
"Nothing its ok im fine"

Fetch tissues and offer them if female may wish to wipe face

"Its ok tell me all about it"
"I cracked a nail. Look it's ruined. Cost me 40 that did. Ruined!"
"Ahh that's terrible let me have a look"

At this point you may wish to either try to minimise the severity of the fracture or empathise... not sure which is best

"This is salvageable. We're going to get you the finest manicure this city has to offer and... we're going to do it ourselves. Make an adventure out of it"

So in the ensuing whirlwind shopping trip hopefully said friend will have forgotten about the horrific trauma of her broken nail and will be consumed in the preperations. If she mopes and sobs the whole way simply resort to the first advice offered

Administer a swift slap to the face followed by: "snap out of it". Alternatively threaten to give them something to cry about.

:lol: IM not sure whether this post was a joke or not i'll leave you to extract what useful information you can from it


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05 Jul 2014, 10:34 pm

^^^
your hard is in the right place.



Magnanimous
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07 Jul 2014, 3:48 pm

One of the following:

#1. Absolutely nothing. It doesn't have anything to do with you. It is none of your business. Ignore it.

#2. Laugh. It is funny when normal people suffer.