Do you review the conversations you had at the end of the da

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Hi! I am just curious. Do you, at the end of the day, during the commute, review the conversations you had and reflect if you said anything wrong? I do that most of the time, with a slight feeling of paranoia. Haha.

Oh god, all the time. ALL the time. I don't think there is any conversation I had that I don't come away from without analysing at least ONE part of it/one thing that either I said or they said.

There is always at least one sentence, one topic or one moment in every encounter, when I realize something was "off," and I said or did something jarring, or that I said or did something that was not the response I would have wanted to give had I had more time to respond, more presence of mind (conversation makes me feel a bit brain-foggy) or had truly thought about my real reaction rather than given the polite, standard or expected reaction -- which I gave out of a desire to just not stick my neck out, seem weird, rock any boats, etc.

Or I often feel angry that I let someone ask very personal questions and without thinking I just answered them -- I come away from those conversations thinking "WHY did I just share that information??? That's personal and I actually SHOULD have been more offended or at least told that person it's not appropriate."

This happened to me three times last week and I'm still upset and going over the conversations again and again.

Yep...I do this sort of reflection as well. I started when I was about 13 or so.

Yes I do this a lot too. I will go over conversations I've had that day or even weeks/months ago. I always wish I had said something different as I never tend to say what I really want to at the time. I analyse the conversation and sometimes I realise that the other person might have meant something different to how I interpreted it.

I also run through future conversations, not even necessarily ones that I know I'm going to have. Sometimes it's just imaginary scenarios. I'm always far more articulate and eloquent in my head than I am in reality. What comes out of my mouth is often a load of rubbish.

peapod, I so relate to that. I go over "future" conversations too -- things I'm trying to be more prepared to say the way I want to, the next time. At home in the privacy of my own place I'm way more articulate than I ever am when put on the spot in an actual conversation. Very frustrating!

I have to practically learn my own rehearsed "speech" if I want to say something to someone face to face as eloquently as I can say it to my four walls when I'm practicing.

Yes, this happens to me all the time like for example when I meet people For the first time I can fake being nt but after having conversations for a while I can tell that I am alienating the person I am speaking but I can never tell exactly what I done wrong, but I suspect that it could be because of my limited eye contact or the messages I give of from my body language.

Yes. I relive successful exchanges for days or even weeks afterwards and I explore all possible directions of unsuccessful exchanges.

I also constantly rehearse and explore future conversations or those that I hope can one day happen, but it often doesn't help when the real life situation comes because the other person usually takes a turn in a direction I wasn't expecting and then it's all improv from there. Haha...

I really do hate it and wish I would just stop and be able to greet situations as they come. I feel that sometimes I beat possible situations to death so badly in this way that by the time the real thing does happen, I'ts over rehearsed and I screw it up anyway in a completely unessecary way. Dumb!!

I do this as well, although it doesn't extend further than the day I had the conversation. I criticize my choice and tone of words of most, even if I'm not told there wasn't anything directly wrong with my words or how I chose to speak them.

I have future conversations in my head too, mostly if I'm excited or I'm agitated, it's kind of my way of having the ideal relaxed social situation without actually having to involve another person.

Yeah, I do that. When I do I have to watch out for beating myself up too much.

Yes, this. sometimes I'm told it's uncanny how well I remember the conversations. Other times I get told I've altered the nuances slightly to make myself look better. I don't think I do this but I guess I probably do. I want to be right and I want to be liked. But people don't seem to like people who always feel like they have to be right.

I can see why, but it would be nice if we could all just help eachother understand and find the truth so we could all be right all the time. One person being right doesn't necessarily lead to a corollary of another person being wrong. The blind men and the elephant story comes to mind.

No but sometimes I get phrases people said in my head looping over and over again.

When I was younger, I used to rehearse conversations before I had them.

I do this almost all the time when I find something to show my friends. I plan everything I'm gonna say and howthey're gonna answer and what I'm gonna answer back. If I don't do it I'm completely gonna forget to tell them, even though it doesn't help when I have a dozen of subjects ready to deliver all at once.

Yes, constantly.

I do that sometimes, and I too have beaten myself up over comments that in hindsight I thought might have gone across the wrong way. I try to remind myself that I'm my own worst critic, and that the other person most probably wasn't examining my comment nearly as much as I do.

Most people do this without realizing it. It's normal, and the people who are telling you this are without doubt also doing it when they recount a tale.