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Do you have friends?
Yes 23%  23%  [ 12 ]
No 30%  30%  [ 16 ]
What the heck is a friend? 25%  25%  [ 13 ]
Do animals count? if so, yes I have a friend. 23%  23%  [ 12 ]
Total votes : 53

SpaceRanger
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18 Aug 2015, 12:33 pm

I was curious if people in here that have AS have any friends.



Spiderpig
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18 Aug 2015, 3:49 pm

I voted "No", but I'm not really sure I shouldn't have chosen "What the heck is a friend?". I'll sooner win the lottery than have my first friend. And I don't play the lottery.


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i_wanna_blue
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18 Aug 2015, 4:15 pm

It's been a long time since I had a real life friend. Sometimes some roads, the ones off the beaten path, are best traveled alone.



cheryll
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20 Aug 2015, 4:09 am

I voted 'what the heck is a friend'. I know people and some people I like, but I don't like spending time with them for more than a few hours and once a week is quite enough, thank you very much. In addition, I don't particularly like meeting up with anyone by myself - I need at least one other person there. There also has to be some purpose for us meeting. I mean, I don't like all this going for a coffee business, chatting about nothing in particular and having to pay for the pain of it. Also, I don't have anyone I would tell all my problems and worries to, and I wouldn't really miss anyone if they moved or I moved away. I guess it depends on your definition of a friend.



JakeASD
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20 Aug 2015, 5:28 am

I have not had a true friend for over nine years now.

Although it is tempting to say that I am ashamed of the aforementioned statement, I do not honestly know how it makes me "feel". But I do know that the passing of our family's dogs certainly compounded my lonesomeness; they were everything to me. :cry:


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b9
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20 Aug 2015, 5:55 am

i do not know what the word "friend" connotes in the minds of other people, but for me it has no inherent meaning.

there are people who i like and there are people i am indifferent to. i do not dislike anyone.

i generally like to be alone, so if someone considers me to be a friend, they will usually become disappointed that i have no desire to see them in person. i am happy talking on the phone for a while, but when i hang up, i am back to where i want to be. alone.

i sometimes wonder what i am missing out on when i think of all the people who are involved in social circles that give them pleasure, but in the long run, i will never miss what i never knew.



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20 Aug 2015, 6:00 am

I refuse to refer to others as a « friend » solely because we've talked.

Back in my school-days some girls even tried to automatically assume that I was their boy-friend if I had merely only talked to them once and there had even been cases where they wanted to start calling me their boy-friend simply because I looked in their direction one day.

NTs are crazy !


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JoelFan
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20 Aug 2015, 9:11 am

umm nobody in person these days I have a childhood friend that I text once every few months and see once every 5 years or so if that counts and I have a few online friends whom I never met if that counts

If not then no I have no I don't have any friends that I communicate with face to face


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kraftiekortie
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20 Aug 2015, 10:33 am

I have a few acquaintances. In my real life, my closest friend might be my wife. We are more like friends than lovers.



pentacat
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20 Aug 2015, 12:42 pm

I have my cat, but that's about it.
I'm usually alright with that, but it would be nice to have someone to do activities with.



Xenization
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20 Aug 2015, 1:46 pm

For a long time in elementary school, I couldn't have even told you what a friend was. Luckily, in 6th grade, I was able to find a few companions. And we got a dog.


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Feyokien
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21 Aug 2015, 6:58 pm

I'd would have marked what the heck is a friend, but I've got two that I can independently spend time with now. I no longer have to be a third wheel, I have the capacity to spend time with them one on one. I haven't been able to do this for years, it feels good. Last week I actually helped one of them pick out a laptop, my word means that much to them.



D0gbert
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21 Aug 2015, 7:32 pm

I... still do not really know what a friend is.

While I can treat some people as "friends" and apparently it is "mutual", my paranoia often kicks in. I start wondering whether they are treating me with quiet contempt, for example.

Definitely more "friends" than in the past, but I really don't know. They still hang out with me after my frequent social blunders ie non-PC jokes, so maybe I do have friends. Just probably not very close...



shlaifu
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23 Aug 2015, 2:57 pm

I used to have some, but I didn't understand how to make them stay my friends.
We were friends while at school or uni together, but then I left for some further studies, and when I came back, they were no longer my friends.
There are, however, some, who I strongly consider to be on the spectrum as well, who left to study elsewhere, and whenever we meet- for example, when everyone comes home for christmas, it is still very much like 15 years ago when we went to school together.
But this is not how friednship with NTs work. they visit each other and call and stuff.
maybe it's all just because I'm not social enough for facebook ...

anyway, your poll is heavily biased, as I know I'm the only one of the ASD people I know that are on here. Mainly because I'm particularly bad at maintaining human relationships. Others are doing better and don't feel the need to hang out here, is what I'm trying to say.


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MarketAndChurch
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23 Aug 2015, 11:08 pm

I actually make a pretty decent friend, and the friends I befriend cling to me, but only because I settled for low-hanging fruit. You'd be surprise how many lonely or friendless NT's are out there, and like me, also latch onto whatever drifts their way. But often times, a large number of them have immaturities that I don't find pleasing, interests I can't remain interested in for long periods of time and certainly not at all when they're not around, and baggage that I can't help them with or become their therapist for. It also hurts me to hurt a friend, and I have an even harder time saying no or being myself.

So that is my dilemma... I became a yes man due to my incredibly lonely childhood, and yet that has more often then not lead to unhappiness. I think that's why I'm hesitant to make friends. I've been friend-free for 8 years now, and it's a little better then having friends you don't like, but it's not ideal.


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Spiderpig
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24 Aug 2015, 4:28 pm

Friend-free, heh. I like how the state of being screwed can always be described in terms of freedom :jester:


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