Why do I have to always make the first move?

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I feel like I have to make the first move in social situations or I'll continue to be alone. No one ever comes to me and tells me they want to be my friend. I don't understand it at all. Why can't others make the first move instead? Aren't they people, too? Don't they want to expand their social circle?

Logically, if the goal is to increase your social circle, you would want to make friends with the most popular people. This way you might connect with ten, rather than one person at a time. But, popular people are usually too busy to notice that you haven't any friends, so you need to make the first move.

People who need friends often have social anxieties or other issues that prevent them from making the first move. Or, in my case, I've often been too busy with work or projects to worry about having acquaintances beyond the clubs I belong to.

I don't talk very much, and have a very neutral/angry-looking face - This makes people feel intimidated around me, and make them think I'm not interested in them. I'm working on being curious about people, and (since I'm not good at expressing emotion) expressing my emotion, interest and relation in words.

It could be that you aren't picking up on the first, 2nd and third moves made by normal people. Thus, they give up, thinking you aren't interested. If you were normal you could sense that, but you aren't.

Same thought here .. but now I do no more first moves .. 95% of them ended up in failure .. it is maybe time for others to take the first step .. it is time for the other person to do some effort .. some told me that it would be so hard to make friends this way .. my reply was : I do not care if it happens or not .. life is much easier this way by keeping myself on the safe side .. at least I stay away of disappointment and rejection .. cheers

My opinion?

Don't give up.

Truth is, most people in the world don't want to be friends ... with you, with me, with whoever. They find their "inner circle" and that's enough for them, they stop looking.

My grandmother used to always say that if you had two or three good friends, you were doing good ... and that the other people who claimed to be "friends" were usually fake. And she was a down-to-earth NT, very friendly and excellent at making small talk, loved getting together with people, etc.

And you know, people seem even more narcissistic nowadays than in my grandmother's time ... But there are still decent people out there today. You just have to look harder, and not settle for the wrong people.

True friends are a
treasure worth looking for,
and worth making the first move
to find.

im not sure, you know that first point when you go to school for the first time or uni or something, and everyone finds their feet with friends, guess whose standing in the corner alone by the end of it all? thats right, me, nobody really wants to be, but for me i think its just because nobody really liked me. the sighing and "aww" when i sat near them or they had to interact with me is clue enough.

i think with you though, its what pheonix said, people find thier circles, then stop looking.

That's because most adult NTs have already their social circle, so they don't have the motivation to expand it.

This is tangentially related to the topic, but I've noticed that when I've been working somewhere for a while, a lot of my co-workers seem to not be interested in initiating conversation with me either. Quite often, whenever I have to work with someone, I am the one who attempts starting a conversation at various times throughout the day, and when I leave it as is, the co-worker is just quiet all day. Ironically, this usually concerns the co-workers who claim to be 'everyman's friends' and who consider themselves 'very social'. The initiative NEVER comes from them, as much as I try my hand at chit-chat or banter. I do have nice conversations with co-workers who share one or more interests, and they also tend to be of the more soft-spoken persuasion.

In a social situation like a party, you are expected to mingle but there is a trick. What you want to do is quietly approach a group of people talking and stand there and let them finish talking. Once they're done, you give them a chance to turn an acknowledge you. Then you say "Would it be okay if I joined your group?" Then you introduce yourself which should be about 20 seconds. That's when you let the other people determine if they are interested in you or not.

I think so that there is nothing without effort. Phoenix write it best.
If someone don't need to initiate first move it usually dazzle confidence or something similar.