General Guide to NT Thinking

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Hi, I’m an NT and I would like to share a guide on how NT’s think. Most NTs think these to varying degrees for all of their waking life & I split it into categories to be more helpful. This is also mostly unconscious. Please let me know what you think & if you find it useful/helpful.

General
How does/is this place/this thing/this person making me feel right now?

How did this this place/this thing/this person make me feel in the past?

Self
How do I fit into this social structure/hierarchy?
(Could be job/team/school/college/town/etc.)

How can I improve my social standing/ standards of living? (Could be clothes, friends, area of residence, partner, etc.)

People
Where does this person that I am talking to/have seen/is being mentioned fit into the social hierarchy? Have I talked to them/interacted with them before? How did they make me feel?

Is this person friendly towards me, do they contribute to my life in positive ways? Do I feel good around them? Are they cooperative? If yes, I should be friends with them. If no, stop interacting with them.

Is this person mean/hostile/uncooperative? Do I feel bad around them? If yes, then I should stop talking to them, avoid, and ignore them.

I would be interested in how you view practical jokes, played to humiliate the targeted person for the amusement of others. It is something I have seen NTs do, and your perspective on it and why it is amusing to them would be appreciated.

It's nice to read these about NT behaviour written by an NT, rather than written by an Aspie. When an Aspie writes about NT thinking and behaviour, they often exaggerate, misunderstand or only write based on their own personal experiences. Same goes to NTs that write about autistic thinking and behaviours.

Practical jokes are played to get the person “in line” & conform with the rest, since the person is seen as either an outsider or weird. If they don’t conform, then they’ll continue to be subject to humiliation unless they change their behavior & try to conform more.

Also, practical jokes are testing you to see how you react and what your social value is & to see your social skills. If you have a really weird reaction then your social value is confirmed as low. If you have a successful reaction by ignoring it, playing it off, brushing it off, or successfully humiliating them back, then they will leave you alone.

Also, these “practical jokes” are mostly done by really immature people such as people in high school & below, or people that want to act like they’re still in high school (mostly cluster b people).

Their opinion is a fact. Your opinion is a delusion.

"Does that make sense?"

Make sense, correct, and justified are three different things


They overlap in a Venn diagram
"Cool", "sucks", "huh", "what"

Judgmental

Manipulative

"Can you" is a request. Even if it is unreasonable

Just because you can doesn't mean you have to

"Should" , "can" and"will" are three different things


Dramatic

Their friends are just like them


NTs act so innocent


"May I help you?",. But they don't have the skill or authority to "help" . Or they are not willing. They act like they dragged my worthless corpse out of a burning building


"Do you have a question?" . Like if you have a question, they have an answer


NTs are either uppity Dr spock laughing out of control at every slightest thing. Or angry .

Two categories


NT ask "why?" About everything you do that they don't like. As though you have to satisfy them with an answer.

Oi! I resemble that comment!

Tiana, as you may be aware, bullying of AS people by NT people is a massive issue that causes great harm.

An example: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-51475739

Have you ever joined in the bullying?
Have you ever seen it and just walked away? (ie bystander apathy)
Have you ever been proactive in challenging the NT bullying of AS people?
What are your thoughts on this - are NTs cowards? Cruel? Lacking in a theory of mind and empathy toward others different from themselves?

Hi Tiana!

Welcome to Wrong Planet! Thanks for joining us here.

Just out of curiosity, what drew you to begin posting here?

Do you have any personal relationship to the topic of autism? For example, do you have any autistic family members or friends, and/or are you considering a career that would involve dealing with autistic people?

(By the way, in case you happen to be considering a career in psychotherapy, I'll mention that there is currently a vast shortage of psychotherapists qualified to give official diagnoses of ASD, especially in adults.)

Hello Tiana!

Thanks for putting that up!

Don't be too worried by the anti-joke brigade. We're not all humorless and accusatory; I guess a lot of people have been picked on too much in the past. Guess what--I love pulling practical jokes and try to pick some that don't inconvenience or distress people, then let it happen. (Puns are a victimless crime though.)

Your post was very interesting and I hope to hear more about NT thought, if you get a chance.

Welcome to Wrong Planet - it is always good to read about different perspectives.
I don't usually think about social hierarchies much at all, other than knowing that I will always be the lowest in any group situation. Your explanation of practical jokes was interesting. Yesterday I was thinking about how people make fun of each other, and how there are different levels - from friendly social banter, to the kind of "testing" you describe, to abuse. When I was young, I could not tell the difference between these and would often misinterpret benign banter as hostility. I was also thinking that perhaps making fun of others may often be NT's way of making other people's differences feel less threatening.

Sometimes NTs speak so vaguely the statement is always correct

"You have bacteria", the wrestling coach correctly told me

The implication is that I invented bacteria

Everyone has bacteria


Ass hole

Logical fallacy


Sometimes NTs have the nerve to say "huh" and "what" like it's the etiquette equivalent of"excuse me"

But they act like every thought and emotion that goes through their head is the latest greatest scientific invention

"Do you mind", "yes" or "no" still means consent


Sometimes NTs act like they have a moral "right "to be happy at all times . Otherwise someone violated their stupidass "rights"


Even trump doesn't have a "right" to be happy at all times



Sometimes NTs say they "can't" do something because they don't want to


Lil dipshits





Sometimes NTs keep asking "why?" . But only about s**t they don't like .

How about "why are you alive?"

There might not be a reason

But even if you tell them the model answer, they could still veto

They don't care or they don't believe it


Ass holes


The misleading implication is that their actions and statements are completely justified


It only makes sense to ask "why" if they waste the same amount of energy explaining their actions, from the opposite perspective




Manipulative arrogant judgmental entitled homophobic impatient lil dipshits

I think it's a huge oversimplification that all or even most NTs function solely or overwhelmingly on "how does that make me feel" and hierarchal calculations.

My first thought reading this was: "This sounds to me more like how a young autistic person with very limited life experience and understanding of human nature would view NTs" and now I just realised that maybe by "thinking" you actually mean instinct and then, of course, you're right.

These days, I'm fortunate enough to live in an environment where most people don't rely predominantly on instincts, pleasure-seeking and climbing the ladder behaviours to function or form connections, but I can remember a time when I did. I was hell

Have you ever joined in the bullying?

No, I’ve never joined in on the bullying. I think that only immature & insecure NTs do that to make them feel better about themselves, because they’re just projecting their own feelings of shame & worthlessness into others & pick on people that they think can’t defend themselves (which I think is straight up cowardly & shameful behavior).

Have you ever seen it and just walked away? (ie bystander apathy)

Yes, when I was a kid when I was shy and immature, I didn’t know what to do and was afraid of being judged. Now as an adult, I don’t care. I try to either step in & confront the bullying or talk to the person being picked on afterwards to console them. I think that any real mature adult would do as such. Still, I think that people who bully are very immature/cluster b and not secure with who they are. When people are truly mature and secure with themselves, there is no point for them to bully others.

Have you ever been proactive in challenging the NT bullying of AS people?

Yes I have, see above answer ^

What are your thoughts on this - are NTs
cowards? Cruel? Lacking in a theory of mind and empathy toward others different from themselves?

I think that not all NTs are alike, just like not all autistic people are alike. Some NTs are cowards, some aren’t, some are cruel, some aren’t. NTs vary in conscientiousness, openness to experience, neuroticism, and agreeableness (Big 5 personality traits).
I think that the NTs that are low in neuroticism, high in openness, and low in agreeableness are less likely to bully and more likely to step in when they see acts of bullying.

I also think that some NTs are scared of autistic behavior & can be hostile because they are scared of what is different and what doesn’t conform to their own beliefs how people should act in society.

Just out of curiosity, what drew you to begin posting here?

I had social anxiety when I was younger & was very shy, so I can somewhat relate with having a hard time socializing with others. I was also diagnosed with autism, but I think it was a false diagnosis because I was just anxious & sheltered as a kid (not discounting anyone’s diagnosis) & that I understand how to socialize now that I’m out in the world.

Do you have any personal relationship to the topic of autism? For example, do you have any autistic family members or friends, and/or are you considering a career that would involve dealing with autistic people?

No, I don’t have any personal relationship. I’ve known some kids in high school that were autistic & they were well taken care of by their parents & staff & people at my school were pretty understanding.

(By the way, in case you happen to be considering a career in psychotherapy, I'll mention that there is currently a vast shortage of psychotherapists qualified to give official diagnoses of ASD, especially in adults.)

Yeah, I agree that some psychotherapists pretty much are there to get paid & don’t actually care that much about their patients. I am very interested in psychology, I think that I should’ve chosen that major.

Tony Attwood was the person who guided me here to WP.

Have you read much about AS men and women?

If yes, were writers AS or NT?

(Re-formatting to clarify who said what:)

So you don't have any significant difficulties with socializing other than previous ignorance due to being sheltered? Also you don't have very many, if any, of the other sources of difficulty associated with autism such as sensory sensitivities (or under-sensitivities), attention focus issues, executive functioning issues, or physical clumsiness?


But having been previously misdiagnosed is indeed a personal relationship to the topic of autism. Certainly it's a reason for you to explore the topic in-depth, to verify your belief that you were misdiagnosed?


That's good to hear.


What is your major?

Oh, okay I am somewhat sensitive to light, but other than that I don’t have issues.

Yes, I think that is what brought me to researching autism more.

My major is biology, I’m not doing pre-med though.

Edit: I did have trouble making eye contact with people, but now I have no problem.