Depressed over lack of friends.

Post Reply New Topic

I just got really depressed over the fact that I've hardly any friends. I was on Bebo (kinda like MySpace, I suppose?) and realised that none of the people who I have under my "friends" list are actually my friend.

I think I have two friends that I know of and I'm not even sure if they really like me, or are just keeping me around because they feel sorry for me. One is my friend from school, who I've know for years, and the other is a 42 year old woman, who I suspect has AS. Sometimes I have a lot of difficulty making conversation with my school friend, and I'm afraid she'll get bored of me eventually.

I'm a little depressed and envious of one of my ex-friends. I thought we would have been "friends forever", but obviously he got bored of me, and has now discovered the world of clubs and alcohol, with his many new friends. I think I finally realised that we really were no longer friends when I saw his "Top 16 Friends" on Bebo and I wasn't one of them.

I don;t really get on with anyone at uni. I thought I was at first but then people stopped inviting me places, and I don't really like going to clubs, etc anyway, which is apparently all uni students do for fun.

I think I have trouble making friends because my standards are so high. It seems people are either not racist/homophobic/prejudice but they get drunk, go clubbing, etc, or they don't go clubbing/get drunk but are racist/homophobic/prejudice. Maybe my perfectionism is getting in the way.

Oh well that's my little self-pitying rant over..

It can be really rough, hang in there.

What are your special interests? I find joining a club helps a little bit. By club I mean things like an anime club, sci-fi club, etc.

I know for me personally I'm down quite a few friends simply by geographical location - I had to move back home after having surgery and am out of reach of my "big city" friends most of the time.

I've got only one friend with frequent access here, and a few I may see rarely if I'm llucky, who live near the town but not in it.

It's pretty difficult to tell if your friends are interested or not. I guess the best thing to do is to ask once a week, if they say no, can't hang out, but don't say that they don't want to hang out with you, try again later?

I've felt pretty much the same way most of my life ,but i try not to let having the hardship of trying to make friends get to me because theres better people to know out there who could be more understanding of the situation.

try looking for people who arent normal either, i've found that everyone of my friends have been misfits. being with normals is a huge drain of mental energy for not much benefit.

I have probably one friend, most of my "friends" at work often have parties and go out of their way to leave me out (My favorite recent incident is where they "accidently" sent me an email saying not to invite the "geek", of course whoever sent me that message was one for not realizing they emailed everyone on my department list, which includes me). They always say "Maybe later" when what they really mean is "Never". To be honest, conversations with them are ultra boring anyway, it's typically about what new hairstyle their neighbor has or who is the cutest on American Idol. That and they always ignore any input I offer anyway, so all I really end up doing is suffering through their wasteland of words.

Believe me, I am used to having just one friend, although I wish I had more real ones. While most people are "fake" at least I know this person is my friend, a true friend. These kind of people are out there, but I won't kid you, they are very few and far between.

Don't ever frown because you never know who might be in love with your smile.

"Life is like a river that flows smooth or rough at any giving time."- Me

"I don't care if I'm weird. I don't care if I'm different.
I don't care what other people think. Cause I'm just me and that's all I want to be."

"Life is a box of chocolates.... never know what you're gonna get."

Hope this help you cheer up a bit.

same problem, oh well. I have 30 friends on facebook, and all are acquaintances, and about 5 are friends, but my life sucks, no one really likes me either so your not alone dude.

wblastyn...I did not fit in when I was in college either ( don't drink or smoke and I

was a non-traditional/older student ). Currently I have no friends. I had been

feeling rather lonely for the past two years, so I decided to try volunteering. It has

worked wonders. My mood is greatly improved. When attending university I did

work study(worked in a office in the school of my Major) to help pay my tuition. It

was a necessity, and I met lots of interesting people, some American, and some

from around the world. I also had to take/pick up forms, packages, etc. throughout

the university which helped to expose me to people of all ages, races, occupations,

etc. Hang in there. Take pride in knowing you are investing in your future, and

you are worth knowing.

Remember we ware all different! This is a good thing!!

I do understand how you feel, though. Like sometimes at school (post B.A.) I will see the same people over & over & just hardly become an acquaintence by the end of the semester, but then you witness people meeting for the first or second time & they're walking out of class like they've known each other for years ! !! It's frustrating. I've been lucky to hold onto 2 childhood friends (i'm 29 now). I'm also lucky to have a sister i get along with.

Many previous responses here have raised the idea of volunteering, or becomming a member of an activity that you enjoy. The rest will follow. maybe not exactly as you hope or want it to, but it will.

I feel the same way as you and don't really know how to effectively deal with this.

I have been invited to parties in high school from peers that I see in classes but it just feels weird when I talk with them about things besides school. They usually joke around a lot of things that I never find funny at all. If, for a moment, I am with someone alone, I wouldn't be able to think of anything to say.

I think you should find people who share the same interests as you and if they see your passion, they will want to talk to you and accept any parts of your personality they find weird.

It will be much easier to make friends if you go in this direction.

First of all I went through many of the same problems that you endured in college. When I was in college I lost my parents and went into counseling for those reasons. I also talked about my lack of friends with my therapist and he told me straight up the following:


There were many people out there who liked me and cared about me. However, I often made it hard for them to want to be friends with me or for them to invite me places because of how I would act in various situations.

What I suggest that you do is figure out what behaviors that you are engaging in that are turning people off to you. Now that this doesn't mean that it is your fault that you don't have friends and I'm not telling you to change who you are. What I am, however, suggesting is that you figure out if there are behaviors that you are exhibiting that are alienating people from you. You might want to work with a therapist on these issues and then work through those behaviors or figure out a way to change them.

Are there clubs or activities that you could get involved in at your university? That is probably another area where you could make new friends and find new people.

I can't believe that your coworkers could be that immature. Had that happened to me I would have reported them to HR.

Well... I don't have many friends either. I don't care about friend counts on MySpace, Bebo, Facebook, etc. It's not that important, really. Of course, I would like 30 friends on MySpace instead of my measly three, but it's quality that counts, not quality. I'd rather have three great friends than 30 casual ones. What REALLY bugs me is that I don't have those really good friends I desire. I Have four "friends" I know online, and only one of those regularly talks to me. The others are either rarely online at the same time as me, or have become bored of me and just ignore me.

Apart from that, I know people though my classes at college, the Autistic Society and occupational therapy schemes run by the mental hospital. I consider some of them to be friendly acquaintances, but none I would consider to be good friends.

I'd really like to find some people with personalities compatible with my own personality and circumstances, along with similar views and interests to my own. I think I am not too unsociable, especially once I become more familiar with people, but I find making friends very hard, especially when initiating conversation is such a stumbling block for me.