Is it OK to not chat to the hairdresser?

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Whenever I go to the hairdressers to get a haircut I just sit there quietly while one or two of the other customers are chatting away to their hairdressers. I can engage in a bit of smalltalk but I'm not the sort to give my life story and every detail away to a stranger. And each time I go to the hairdressers I don't often get the same girl cutting my hair.

Sometimes I worry that the other customers are judging me because I'm not saying anything to my hairdresser. But I'm not going to start going into my business, and I'm not really interested in the hairdresser's business either, and to be honest, it's the customers that talk on and on while the hairdresser just pretends to be interested. Normally the hairdresser doesn't say a lot otherwise.

The (female) customers just monologue about their children and what their education or jobs are, and they give the exact details of everything, like example, "my oldest son Jake is 20, and my youngest son Danny is 16, well, he'll be 17 not next week but the week after, and..."
Do I need to sit there telling my life story in every little detail? I'm just not very chatty unless I'm comfortable with people (know them well).

Is it OK not to make conversation with your hairdresser and tell them everything? I worry that other customers will listen and then judge me anyway for what I'm talking about, even though my life is as 'normal' as the next person's.

Also I can't really hear/they can't really hear me when the hairdryers are on.

I just want to sit quietly and enjoy having the cut

I'm the same with massages

hate anny pressure to talk unless I feel like it

Depends, i make a couple of polite conversational gambits..if the hairdresser seems chatty then it opens up. Otherwise they are usually content with silence after that.

I usually cut my own hair because I hate going to a hairdresser. When I go, I talk briefly and am then silent for the rest of the time.

I tip well, so I figure that that would help.

What I did to avoid chatting to the hairdresser was find one who doesn't really chat, then keep asking for her each time. If she wasn't available, I'd wait til she was. I have a really nice, motherly one now who cuts me and my daughter's hair, she is quiet and low key.

Sounds to me like these other customers are too busy monologuing to their hairdressers to even notice what you are or aren't saying to your hairdresser.

In any case, I don't understand why it matters to you what the other customers think of you, unless one of them happens to be an important person in some other aspect of your life, e.g. your landlord or your boss. I would suggest that you be more concerned about the feelings of the hairdresser than the opinions of the other customers. After all, the other customers aren't the ones cutting your hair.


If indeed it's true that "the hairdresser just pretends to be interested," then it seems to me that the hairdresser would probably appreciate a client who is relatively quiet for a change. I would suggest that you engage in just enough small talk to be friendly, then let the hairdresser focus on cutting your hair.

I hate that too.

When I go into a coffee shop, I tell the person at the counter what I want, they get it for me, I pay for it and the transaction is done without anyone sharing their life story. Why can't barbers and hairdressers be like that?

I usually talk to my hair stylist about the haircut I am getting. I never talk about every detail of my life. If I have a conversation at all, I will talk about the weather. I will also talk about going to get a haircut and about the latest movie

I got to a barber who is usually fairly chatty. I've never liked the small talk associated with going for a haircut, so I just put up with it, really. Get by with talk about Netflix or things happening locally. He mostly rants about wokeness now which I don't say very much about as I just hate the whole culture wars thing and all of the online toxicity that's out there and it bleeds into real life. If I go to the shopping centre it's more anonymous, but I've to drive there if I want that. I expect the ones that talk absorb a lot of gossip, so they know many people's business. Not an easy job at the same time, on your feet all day and trying to keep people happy.

I'd say engage in as a little or much conversation as you prefer.

I don't go to the hairdressers. I do My own.

I have nothing to say to these people. I don't even think it's anything to do with aspergers or anything, I think it's more to do with the fact that they're just not my type of people. I'm sure they're very nice all the same.

I can think of very little else that I would enjoy less than having to sit and find conversation with someone who is on a completely different wavelength to me. Not only that but to have to pay for the displeasure of it as well. It just makes no sense.

Yes, hairdressers don't really push me to talk. It's ok to just let them work and not say much.

I've found one that plays good music and we talk about our pets. It's more chill than other hair salons.

That's right. If you do like the hairdressers then you don't have to talk. They won't think you're rude or ignorant. They deal with all sorts of people.

It is one of my least enjoyable things I do… it almost feels as if there is a pressure to make conversation.
It was as if the person cutting hair expects it. I try to get away with saying the least of my life to a complete stranger. Weather is a fair topic but I do not do much popular TV binging or have a great family .Or sports.
So I always end up going quiet. Maybe those other people use their hairdressers as therapists in their own minds .

You could ask them about their lives maybe? I find usually they're happy to talk about their boyfriends/ social life.

I had this awful, really bossy one once, she was really loud and talked nonstop about herself. She was annoying but at least I got away with 'mm hm' 'uh huh' every so often

Uuhhh…Humm…………… yes and hmmm…well ..yes.. maybe that too… ..

humour Implied in the above sentence…maybe a touch of cynicism con: hairdresser/ boss type situations

Sorry, I don't understand what you mean.