Conversation foot-in-mouths

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I feel awful about a few I made this week and would like to feel less alone about my problem, so I thought I'd ask others to share theirs...

I can't even remember mine without cringing, so I won't put any examples in writing, at least for now.

Hey, I've said my fair share. Mine like yours this week usually come in clusters. The worst I still kick myself about, the others I have to laugh at to let go. Write about them on paper, get it all out of your system & then burn the paper.

I think everyone must know the feeling of having said something stupid. My foot-in-mouth moments really haunt me though.

When I was a little kid, my mom and her boyfriend and I went to Disney. She had been complaining all day about blisters on her feet from all of the walking. I must have gotten tired of hearing it because I said "If it were up to you we wouldn't even be here." Just a classically ignorant thing to say.

A few years ago, a coworker was taking a L-size t-shirt into another room to try it on.
Her: "I'm gonna try on a large."
Me: "Okay, good luck."
Of course, she took this as an insult to her weight. I was completely mortified since I didn't mean anything at all like that. At the time, telling people "good luck" was just a silly thing I did, but that time it had an unintended meaning.

During a conversation with my girlfriend's father, he was showing a vacuum to me.
Him: "This thing will suck..."
Me: "Whoah, whoah, whoah, I already have a girlfriend."
This is almost so stupid a thing to say that I still can't believe I said it, but I did. But it worked out okay because I ended up marrying the girl

There are many more but I've mercifully blocked them out.

I'm afraid those are nothing compared to mine

Ouch, the_incident. Those are exactly the sort of things I come out with - I really don't mean them as they sound, but somehow I manage to choose exactly the wrong combination of words...

Once I was at a local park with my children. I was sitting and watching them in the playground, and nearby there was a middle-aged woman pushing her adult son, who obviously had Down's syndrome, on one of the swings. She wanted him to get off so they could go home, but he really didn't want to stop, and was getting quite stroppy about it every time she asked him to. I looked over and said, "You've got a job for life there, haven't you?"

Pushing him on the swings, I meant - on the swings...

My mouth tastes like my foot from having put it there so many times.

You know thats the worst thing is we AS say something we don't mean for it to come across as bad.
Out of all the AS traits thats the worst. Its when you say someshing and it's not that people don't understand you (them thinking " Ok some kind of weirdo.") its when they understand you incorrectly (them " What an intentional jerk.")

My worst foot in mouth was at a girlfriends over dinner. Her mother was talking about another friend of hers who had just gotten pregnant. I just happened to be looking in an overweight aunts direction when I said " Jeez how many people do you know that are pregnant?"
She lit in to me big time.

So whats worse than that?

Here are some of mine. My best friend was talking about drug dealers and I interrupted her with "So, how are your brothers then?" (Pause.) "No connection. Um... I wasn't saying that I thought your brothers were drug dealers...."

Used to get into trouble with this stuff fairly frequently. My first words to my first girlfriend were "And who the hell are you?" I didn't realise that this wasn't really the same thing as asking her name.

I always put my foot in my mouth. I am the classic guy that when I went on dates, the girl woud be really interested in you, and then you just do stuff to blow it.

Like I remember taking a girl on a date, and we were going to the movie, and I told her to be out front. She wasn't there, so I put the horn on, and she came out pissed, and pretty much was the end from there.

Or this one girl that was really pretty. She was leaning over and she had these what look like claw marks along her back and side, and I said, "What happened to you? Did you get clawed by a wild animal?"

Turned out she had been very overweight and they were stretch marks.

I do that all the time, but most of the people I do it to I don't really care about so I don't bother correcting myself.

There was an extremely hilarious one though, among friends, thank the gods:
"You haven't seen the video of Bill Gates getting cream pie'd?"
*blank looks from friends*
"No wait!! that came out wrong!! ! custard pie'd! custard pie'd!! !"
*extreme laughter*

Most-if not all-of my foot in mouths are online. On this group for the musical CATS that I belong to, either I'll say something that I think conveys everything that I mean to say, but they don't see it that way; or they'll say something that I'll take a completely different meaning from. One of the memebers knows I am an Aspie, but keeps acting like I'm a normal person who is an "idiot" in her words. The other person who was giving me a hard time about it backed off after I explained how my mind works. On my part, I've tried to expand my posts.

I have a few...
One of them was between me and a person at my old course...

me - "How to you cross your eyes like that...doesn't it hurt?".
her - "I don't know, I just can do it and it doesn't hurt,".
me - "What comments do you get from others when you show them?".
her - "*Laughs*...I don't go around showing people, that would be stupid!".

That really wasn't a foot-in-mouth thing...but it surely made me seem clueless about modern society, teenage social interaction.

Heres another one between me and my cousin...

him - "I'm so bored, theres no one to play pokemon with,". [he's 17 but a pokemon fanatic].
me - "Get outside, you don't need to play pokemon every day...or just play with yourself,".
him - "*Blank stare*.........*hysterical laughter*".
me - "Oh, I didn't mean play with yourself literally...I mean't play pokemon by yourself,".

That was embarrassing.

I grew up in the bush, so we always had to haul our own garbage out to the dump, in some nearby woods. Once we were going down the driveway of my friends' house, which was also in a similar-looking wooded area, so I said "this place looks like the garbage dump". I could tell my friend was upset-and she did live in a pretty ugly house-and then after my mom gave me a big lecture on rudeness.