Saying someone's name, or mentioning it.

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So I have been here for almost 4 months. I've written a good number of posts but not ton's; and I have started a few threads.

One thing I realised though is that I don't get into broader and commucative postings yet but that is another topic later. But I never seem to like mentioning or calling out people's names, not even the username or anything.

I can do it with family and a few relatives, but I cannot do it with others. Initiating a conversation is hard enough but it's even harder when I call out someone's name to start it. I don't think this has anything to do with AS or anything but it is a social difficulty that I have had since I was young.

I don't really understand why it bothers me. I was given some assistance as a child in speech classes but to no avail. I was told to say "Hi, so-and-so" or ask a question by calling out a person's name.

It isn't what I want but it still goes on.

Once in a while though I can mention someones name, when it is okay to. It depends on the condition and situation I am in. And it comes out fine. Like when a teacher asks me who's your math teacher, or who's your counselor? But if one of my parents asked, then I get shy agian. I end up holding up the answer and mumbling "I don't know" even though I do know.


This is something I would like to control and relieve. It's so frustrating to have this happen. Seems more like shyness and fear, rather than an autistic situation.

Oh. My. God.

I thought I was the only one that had this problem. It's interesting to know that i'm not alone.

Like you it only happens to me with some people. Like tonight for instance I was talking to my sister on the phone, about how I went out to dinner with someone. I didn't say the person's name, I just told her I went with "someone from work" - and was very uncomfortable using the name.

It's sorta like a fear of them knowing them, or them repeating it back and makes me all shy for some reason.

I'm fine with names of family or old friends. It's mainly with people I don't know well, and people my family don't know.

I get distracted when people mention my name sometimes. At that point, I realize that they are talking "about" me, not "to" me.

I'll mention people's names, but almost never address them by their names. I have trouble remembering names, but even if I know them, it's generally just "hey," or "hey, you." I generally fo not address my professors by their names, either, not in entire semesters of classes. It's usually just "excuse me." The time I most often use names is when calling people, and then I ask, "Is ___ there?" I used to ask if my mother was around using her first name when I called her (ex! yay!) byofriend's house, but that was mainly because the people there hated me. I do not consider this directly addressing someone, though.

My boyfriend is an extreme case of this, but there are kind of interesting mitigating circumstances there- I have never once directly addressed him by his actual name because that was my abusive stepfather's name. I directly addressed him exactly once using his nickname (his initials), and this was actually to give a case-in-point example of how addressing someone by starting a sentence with their name sounds condescending. ((As in, "Serissa, you are full of crap"- it's more condescending than just "you're full of crap.")) I do addresss another person I know who has the same first name by a closer derivate of the actual first name, but then again, that's not bordering on an Electra complex.

I do use peoples names at work but I am kinda backwards. I don't use the names of people I am close to very much. I also don't use their names to others. For instance I had worked at a company for two years and one day I said I can't do a meeting on that day because (my daughters name) and I start school. Everyone went who is (my daughters name). In two years I had never used her name because she is too personal to me and so they should not know her name.

I do this with my whole family I refer to them as my son, daughter, husband, etc. to others to protect their idenity. Plus I won't introduce them by name I let them say their own name because it is not for me to choose to let pepole know their name.

The very interesting thing is that I an not that way about my own name. I am called various names and mine is mispronounced all the time and it just does not bother me.

Y

That is reeeeeealy freaky... all this describes me to a T. It's a big thing with me, and something I'm absolutely powerless to change. I was actually thinking of making a topic on this, but I couldn't believe such a weird quirk would be related to AS. I guess I was wrong!

I can use people's names to get their attention, but that's it. I never use it in the middle of conversations. I also HATE IT when people use my name in conversations when I'm already talking with them. It sounds like they're using my name in an attempt to grab my attention, much like they would to a dog or an inattentive child. After they've "perked my ears," they almost always deliver either a piece of criticism they consider pertinent or very important bad news.

Yay, I'm not the only one like this. All my teachers, friends, and family are "hey". No other name suits them all so well. "Hey" just has that wonderful ring to it; and I suck with names. I probably suck with names because I call everyone "hey", what a wonderfully vicious cycle.

Yes, I'm also one to avoid addressing people by their names for some reason. Just makes me a bit uncomfortable I guess. I also have a hard time remembering them sometimes, but it's not that much of a problem.

I do this too. If I want to talk someone I get thier attention by saying 'hi' or something similar, never by saying thier name. I don't know why either, but if I do have to mention someone's name it just feels so . . . awkward, y'know? Sometimes I even sort of burt out the name really quickly just to get it over with.

Still, it's good to know I'm not the only one.

I hate calling people by their name. I have known my husband for 4 years now, and been married to him for a year, but I still can't call him by his name. I just start talking. If the person does not catch the first bit I have to repeat it. I would prefer this to having to say their name. The only people I can call by name are my parents (well, I don't use their actual names, I call them "Mum" and "Dad"), and my brother.

Unless I am in a group of many people and I want to direct a message at one specific person (as opposed to the entire group) I don't see a need to mention someone's name. I share an office with only one person, an overly chatty NT, and she mentions my name almost every time she wants to get my attention.

You know what I hate? When people call me by my LAST name. And I mean just my last name, no Mister. It just seems so demeaning for some reason.

me too. names don't come naturally to me. I always forget people's names and if people use my name i tend to assume they're talking about me and leave if possible.

I thought that was just me.

i've always had a problem with name dropping,back when I worked in a grocery store I would say hi ,hello,how are you? and the other employees would ignore me so I pushed myself to say the first name of whoever i was talking to they responded with conversation the first time eventually they went back to ignore model,I guess i'm not fun to talk to.