Yigeren wrote:
I don't have any but I really, really want friends. I am not the type to want to get together all the time, but I know that it's something I need.
Even being disappointed all the time doesn't keep me from wanting friends. I figure there are people out there that are good, that I will have something in common with and who will tolerate me.
I'm surprised that you have no friends. You seem likeable.
I too have that craving for human contact, but I get either nervous or just blow it. One of the things I do, and it bothers me that it's my basic response, is to do things to get people to want some sort of contact with me, then, I resent it because:
1) When I'm around people, I feel that every moment is an opportunity to mess up and I start to stress out
2) Get annoyed that being around NTs are confusing and I spend way too much time sorting the situation than just enjoying it.
As I've gotten older though, I actually just prefer to have someone I can communicate with. Not necessarily in my presence. But, I find the communication more important now, not the interpersonal/direct contact. Make sense?
There are few people now a days that I like their personal presence. And, for the most part, I can see it's me and not them. They are not abusing the situation or being out of sorts. I just have trouble being interested in things that are not my interests.
I dunno...I'm a mess...I want the contact and interaction, but really get bent out of shape when I do get it because I overload and/or can't feign interest or some other sort of thing that gets in the way of me being around people.
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Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.
RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8