Dear People Who Are In The Elevator With Me

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A don´t think this is just low-functioning neurotypicalism; I think it´s regular-functioning. You see, I have a theory about "theory of mind": namely, that it´s easy to have a good "theory of mind" when the person in question is similar to you. Therefore, most NT´s don´t "get" people with autism. In addition, I think autistic people can have a better "theory of mind" about each other. (Therefore, I don´t think autistic people have a bad theory of mind, it´s just hard to understand NTs). I also believe the same about empathy. I notice, when I look at the world, that most people have a sort of a "selective empathy"; meaning, they empathize with that which is "like them", and that which they can understand. I think this is normal, and human.

Therefore, I don´t believe that the average NT is any better at empathy or theory of mind, it´s just easier for them, generally, because we live in an NT world. If the tables were turned, it would be different.

Dear boss,

When you want to spout crap about me, even though it's your fault for not giving me the right information, at least have the guts to do it in my face, and not flap your annoying lips about it to one of my friends. Be a freaking man and own up already and tell ME, especially since i asked you explicitly to give ME the feedback after I found out you've been babbling stupid crap out of your pie-hole to one of my friends.

Stop poisoning one of my dearest friendships; step up, own up, man up or shut the f* up. It's not my problem you didn't write a manual for your lousy software. Nor is it my problem that in your delusional world not telling me where the source is, or not leaving instructions on how to make your crap build is the same as not wanting to learn your junk. It's even less my problem that the only reason people buy your stuff is because you think you're the king of the world and your near-bankrupt clients believe that.

This is my notice of sick-leave. I'm not coming in tomorrow, you've just cost me a nights sleep.

Bye.

del

Last edited by Naturella on 15 Dec 2008, 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don´t believe that all people with AS lack empathy, no. Of course, it may depend on what you define as "empathy". There are many different ways of experiencing empathy, in my opinion, and the level of empathy one has fluctuates from person to person: even within the NT population. I can´t speak for myself, because I am undiagnosed; however, since I have been on Wrong Planet, I have met so many people diagnosed with Asperger´s Syndrome, who DO have empathy! (At least, how I define it). I don´t care what the so-called "experts" say: I go by my common sense.

So, that´s my answer.

Dear lady at the post office.

Yes, I stutter. Yes, I sound like a two year old. Yes, I look young. BUT NO I AM NOT BUYING STAMPS FOR MY MUMMY! I am here to pay my bills, and send christmas cards to my friends, and my mummy is not involved at all. I works for my cash. Stop assuming stuff.

Not very much love at all,

Teddy.

I agree with you, and have the same theory. All people have difficulties with understanding people who are not like themselves. There are just more of them to people on the autistic spectrum, and thus it is most people we have difficulties understanding, and the result is that it's interpreted as: lack of empathy / theory of mind. It's not so for NTs, because they understand most people, who are NTs like themselves, and they don't see it as a lack of anything, not to be able to understand autistics (for they / we are the unusual ones).

What bothers me, is that it's usually described something similar to "autistic people have difficulties with empathy / theory of mind for other people; non-autistic people, on the other hand, have empathy - can feel what another person feels - and has got a well-functioning theory of mind - they know what other people may be thinking". But what they forget to say is that those "other people" are only "other people" who are like themselves. I think it ought to be mentioned.
Then I wouldn't have wondered so much why all those empathetic beings couldn't imagine that I could think, feel or understand in another way...

What I meant by lowfunctioning NT is that after all, there are NTs too who are good at understanding people who are not like themselves - or are aware that they have to work on becoming it - and thus use their empathy and theory of mind on "different" people.
- But that people who don't see a reason for that or are very obsessed (!) with social-norms-at-every-cost, could be called "lowfunctional NTs".
An attempt to be slightly humorous.

Maybe the meaning was that it's easier for them because they are surrounded by their own kind, so to speak, every day, while aspies in most cases are not?
(Please correct me, Morgana, if I am wrong.)

del

Last edited by Naturella on 15 Dec 2008, 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dear Co-Workers,

Please stop saying "Hi Mason" to me whenever you see me for the first time each day. Yes, I can see that you're there. Do you want something from me? Is it your OCD that makes you say "Hi" so often? You make my skin crawl and annoy the hell out of me!

Regards,
Mason

Yes, that is right, that is what I meant. Sorry if it came out unclearly somehow.

What?????

I beg to defer. A "syndrome" is nothing but a collective series of traits or symptoms. If you have enough of these traits, or symptoms, and they go together in a certain pattern, then you have a "syndrome". A "difference" is simply that: being other than, or different from, "the norm". In this case, I would say that Asperger´s Syndrome is a difference. Many people actually describe autism as being simply "A different brain wiring"; so, in effect, the word "different" is not misleading. ("Thinking out of the box", "processing information differently", or "having a different experience of the world" are all phrases used, not only by autistic people, but by the experts who study it).

And personally, I don´t like to use the word "disorder". This has absolutely nothing to do with AS, per se, I just find the word generally offensive. I don´t use this word about anybody, under any terms. For me, this word places a highly negative and condescending judgment on people, which I don´t like to do. It infers that there is something "not right", even morally "wrong" about the person. Okay, it may be my own personal quirk, due to my "different brain wiring" or tendency to interpret words a certain way...but, that is how it is. But do as you like...

I also highly question that autistic people supposedly "lack empathy". Feeling empathy also has to do, in part, with understanding another person...and, as we all know, it´s far easier for most people to understand someone who is like themselves. Even NT´s find it hard; otherwise, we should be living in a Utopia by now! Why do white people have trouble understanding black people? Why is there so much homophobia in the world? Why do people shun the drunken bum in the street? As far as I´m concerned, nobody has any special dibs on empathy. We all feel it....and, in addition, we all- collectively- the human race- still need to work on it, much, much more!

del

Last edited by Naturella on 15 Dec 2008, 3:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dear people who are in the elevator (going down) with me,

I really don't understand what you're trying to say, please be clearer, I'm a ret*d remember?

I'm sure that by now you've also realised I have a certain difficulty recognising faces, especially when you're not facing me. Don't expect me to recognise yours or acknowledge that you're speaking to me right away. Remember, I'm a ret*d.

One more thing: please don't take offense at my "perceived" rudeness. Once more: remember I'm a ret*d Things like these come with the package.

And most importantly, my life is between me and the true Moral Authority, or at least some glimpse of it, to whom/which I beg for forgiveness every day.

but I already know you [people in the elevator with me] will never believe me, for I am a biased equation.

First off, I would like to correct you on a few points: it is called "Asperger´s Syndrome", not "Aspenger´s Syndrome". It is named after Hans Asperger, an Austrian who did the original research. You have also misunderstood some of what I said; I did not say that all people with Asperger´s Syndrome are "fine" and "need no help". I was only mentioning the fact that I do not personally like the word "disorder". I prefer the word "syndrome", i.e., a collection of traits. I do not question the fact that people with AS have social deficits, or other problems; I, myself, have these same deficits, so obviously I´m not going to belittle that. One can always choose how one decides to see things. The glass can be half empty, or half full.

As for empathy, well, I wasn´t aware that I was "changing the definition". Isn´t empathy about feeling, and understanding and/or respecting the feelings of another? I never thought of it as an "ability" before. Maybe you should explain your definition? Are we talking about 2 different things here? I guess it would help to know that first....

del

Last edited by Naturella on 15 Dec 2008, 3:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.