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zkydz
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19 Jan 2016, 10:43 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
I don't see the problem here. From what Aristophanes said it sounds like the potential outcomes are clear:

1. You become overwhelmed with depression and die
2. You give up on friends entirely and make peace with yourself

Both of which have one thing in common - you still have no friends. So there's the solution, don't worry about friends and just wait things out until either one of the above pathways becomes reality.

I'm far too young to be jaded from experience, so I've been focusing my energy on forcing myself to go down pathway #2. My ultimate goal is to be completely emotionless one day. It's challenging to always maintain my composure, but it's far better than worrying about a social life that's just not possible.
I can disagree with this one thing from my experience.

I did have extreme depression and almost died as a result. Check

Gave up on friends and made peace with myself. Check

But, while not looking for friends, I did make one really good one. My wife. Yes, that's true. My wife is my best friend.

So, you may not be looking, but sometimes, it will find you.


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Yigeren
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19 Jan 2016, 10:50 am

I don't think I can do peace and contentment. I'm not peaceful personality-wise. I'm emotionally volatile. Contentment I can understand. But I know what it feels like to be happy. My emotions are too strong for me to be laid-back, peaceful and content.

I also could never be emotionless. I'd rather be dead. Being unfeeling is no better than being an intelligent machine, or a sociopath. Inhuman, in my opinion. I like being human and the emotions that go with it. I just want more positive ones than negative.

I think I can be successful at connecting with other people. I just have to learn a few things.



Sabreclaw
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19 Jan 2016, 10:51 am

zkydz wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
I don't see the problem here. From what Aristophanes said it sounds like the potential outcomes are clear:

1. You become overwhelmed with depression and die
2. You give up on friends entirely and make peace with yourself

Both of which have one thing in common - you still have no friends. So there's the solution, don't worry about friends and just wait things out until either one of the above pathways becomes reality.

I'm far too young to be jaded from experience, so I've been focusing my energy on forcing myself to go down pathway #2. My ultimate goal is to be completely emotionless one day. It's challenging to always maintain my composure, but it's far better than worrying about a social life that's just not possible.
I can disagree with this one thing from my experience.

I did have extreme depression and almost died as a result. Check

Gave up on friends and made peace with myself. Check

But, while not looking for friends, I did make one really good one. My wife. Yes, that's true. My wife is my best friend.

So, you may not be looking, but sometimes, it will find you.


I don't see why you'd have to emphasize your wife being your best friend. I'd have thought that was already obvious what her being your wife and all. Then again, maybe I'm part of a minority group that believes you should actually like your partner.

Your experience is irrelevant. There are many others who do not meet someone. Why fuel false hope on a something so uncertain? That just makes you more vulnerable to disappointment.



Kuraudo777
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19 Jan 2016, 10:52 am

^^That's the spirit! :cheers: I agree; if I tried to live without emotions, I would likely die.
^That isn't irrelevant at all.


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Sabreclaw
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19 Jan 2016, 10:54 am

Yigeren wrote:
I don't think I can do peace and contentment. I'm not peaceful personality-wise. I'm emotionally volatile. Contentment I can understand. But I know what it feels like to be happy. My emotions are too strong for me to be laid-back, peaceful and content.

I also could never be emotionless. I'd rather be dead. Being unfeeling is no better than being an intelligent machine, or a sociopath. Inhuman, in my opinion. I like being human and the emotions that go with it. I just want more positive ones than negative.

I think I can be successful at connecting with other people. I just have to learn a few things.


I envy sociopaths. They are utterly superior. Emotions drag people down. And talking to intelligent machines would probably be very interesting.



Kuraudo777
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19 Jan 2016, 10:55 am

Emotions help people be alive. Talking to a robot would be quite boring to me.


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Yigeren
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19 Jan 2016, 10:57 am

Kuraudo777 wrote:
Instead of trying to be social and outgoing [two things that I am not], I focus on being friendly. I've managed to make it through four years of High School by doing that, but my mum thinks that I need to be more social. Although...she's been sick and in a great deal of pain for a long time, so I'm wondering if she suddenly thinks that way because she wants to get out and be social.


That's a possibility. Sorry to hear that your mum is sick. Perhaps it's also because she worries for what's best for you.

I was outgoing at times and naturally friendly once I got used to people, but still like to be alone more than others. Need my space. But I just totally failed at socializing, got very discouraged and then isolated myself.



zkydz
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19 Jan 2016, 10:59 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
Your experience is irrelevant. There are many others who do not meet someone. Why fuel false hope on a something so uncertain? That just makes you more vulnerable to disappointment.
And that is the most piss poor rationale for the following reasons:
1. My mentioning of my wife is relevant because I DID find a friend when not looking.
2. My experience is absolutely relevant to people who don't want to wallow and you strike me as a wallower with that reply.
3. There is no false hope in this unless you want to just capitulate.
4. Why fuel hope? Because I choose to do something about this situation and not let it define my life and I won't give up either because people like you want to just roll over and die and say that's ok.

It's your opinion. You can do what you will. But do not ever tell me that I or my experiences are irrelevant.

Let's throw this in the mix too:

Sabreclaw wrote:
I envy sociopaths. They are utterly superior. Emotions drag people down.
Seriously? You really think that Sociopaths are superior and you envy them? wow.....No wonder you think friendship is BS.


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Last edited by zkydz on 19 Jan 2016, 11:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

Kuraudo777
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19 Jan 2016, 11:01 am

^^Yes, I think she worries more than other mums because I'm so unusual.
I do prefer my own company a lot of the time, and at first I thought that that was a bad thing. But then I realized that my mum must be feeling frustrated about being sick, so then I wondered if that's why she was acting like that.
You don't have to socialize that much if you don't want to. Even smiling and saying hi to someone can help make their day better. Here's a big smile for everyone who needs one! :D
^ Good for you! :cheers: I'm so happy for you! My friend who is sort of like a grandmother once said that having a wife/husband/partner who is also your best friend is wonderful.


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zkydz
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19 Jan 2016, 11:04 am

Kuraudo777 wrote:
^^Yes, I think she worries more than other mums because I'm so unusual.
I do prefer my own company a lot of the time, and at first I thought that that was a bad thing. But then I realized that my mum must be feeling frustrated about being sick, so then I wondered if that's why she was acting like that.
You don't have to socialize that much if you don't want to. Even smiling and saying hi to someone can help make their day better. Here's a big smile for everyone who needs one! :D
^ Good for you! :cheers: I'm so happy for you! My friend who is sort of like a grandmother once said that having a wife/husband/partner who is also your best friend is wonderful.
That's what was missed by the person 'envious' of sociopaths. Friend and best friend are different. My wife is my best friend. Drives me bonkers most times though. But I think that has more to do with me and my perceptions.


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Yigeren
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19 Jan 2016, 11:05 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
I don't think I can do peace and contentment. I'm not peaceful personality-wise. I'm emotionally volatile. Contentment I can understand. But I know what it feels like to be happy. My emotions are too strong for me to be laid-back, peaceful and content.

I also could never be emotionless. I'd rather be dead. Being unfeeling is no better than being an intelligent machine, or a sociopath. Inhuman, in my opinion. I like being human and the emotions that go with it. I just want more positive ones than negative.

I think I can be successful at connecting with other people. I just have to learn a few things.


I envy sociopaths. They are utterly superior. Emotions drag people down. And talking to intelligent machines would probably be very interesting.


Sociopaths aren't superior. Anyone can train to ignore emotions and empathy if necessary. But a sociopath can never know what it's like to feel them.

Just like anyone can cover their eyes to experience blindness, or even become blind. Someone born that way can't choose to see, however. And will never know the experience.

Emotion has a purpose. It's important to the survival of our species and evolved for a reason. Sociopaths are inferior, in my opinion, and they aren't any smarter than the average person.



Kuraudo777
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19 Jan 2016, 11:07 am

Without emotions, humanity would not be human. But then, animals have emotions too, which is why I believe that humans are animals too.


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Sabreclaw
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19 Jan 2016, 11:10 am

zkydz wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Your experience is irrelevant. There are many others who do not meet someone. Why fuel false hope on a something so uncertain? That just makes you more vulnerable to disappointment.
And that is the most piss poor rationale for the following reasons:
1. My mentioning of my wife is relevant because I DID find a friend when not looking.
2. My experience is absolutely relevant to people who don't want to wallow and you strike me as a wallower with that reply.
3. There is no false hope in this unless you want to just capitulate.
4. Why fuel hope? Because I choose to do something about this situation and not let it define my life and I won't give up either because people like you want to just roll over and die and say that's ok.

It's your opinion. You can do what you will. But do not ever tell me that I or my experiences are irrelevant.


I don't wallow. I offer an alternative and somewhat unpopular perspective. People spend all their time trying to get something they can't have and all it brings them is disappointment. Better to abandon it completely and focus on what you can have. For me my focus is getting a degree in my field of interest and hopefully pursuing a career with that. In my spare time I engage in what few interests I have. I used to wallow at my social situation, then I realized that was a waste of time. Indifference is so much more relaxing than negative feelings, I'll tell you that.



Kuraudo777
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19 Jan 2016, 11:12 am

Isn't indifference actually a negative feeling?


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Sabreclaw
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19 Jan 2016, 11:14 am

Kuraudo777 wrote:
Isn't indifference actually a negative feeling?


Maybe my understanding of the definition is incorrect. I've always interpreted it as a lack of caring - neutral. That's what I mean. If indifference isn't the correct word then I apologize. Admittedly english isn't my strongest point.



Yigeren
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19 Jan 2016, 11:14 am

Kuraudo777 wrote:
Without emotions, humanity would not be human. But then, animals have emotions too, which is why I believe that humans are animals too.


Yes, many animals experience emotion, at least mammals and birds do. I don't believe reptiles, amphibians, fish, insects and many others are capable of emotion, or perhaps only very basic ones such as fear and aggression.

I also think humans are animals.