I can't keep female neurotypical friends

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The term is easily found and explained, for those who may not be familiar with it.
Here's a couple of easy ones -
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-othering-5084425
https://www.otheringandbelonging.org/th ... -othering/

Cyberdad has himself stated, more than once, that he's NT with a daughter who is on the spectrum.

But your use of the term "other" here seems to indicate that you need to read the definitions above.

I would think this clearly refers to the casual sexism on display here and elsewhere.

That you classify it as either referring to the rules (which already class sexism as not acceptable) or "your own personal agenda" is disingenuous.
In the first instance you should already know that sexism is not acceptable and the second is, IMO, revealing of your own agenda.

It's largely a matter of common respect and understanding. Dictionary definitions are easily found and that, along with listening to women explaining it, are excellent learning resources.

What you classify as "brow-beating" is more fairly defined as having discriminatory activity indicated and explained.

!	Cornflake wrote:
	Don't push your luck, Ok? This is as unnecessary as it is petulant. blitzkrieg wrote: Oh, but ahhh, we have TP here to educate everyone.

I didn't realise cyberdad was an NT.

I will concede that point!

"Can't you just quietly take it, so I/we don't have to be inconvenienced? "

Also, is someone seriously trying to imply that "othering" is some unknowable mystery term, in the same breath as pointing out that autistic individuals are accustomed to being ostracized? I tossed the word "othered" into the search bar, and it came back with 10 pages of people mentioning being or feeling "othered", using that exact term.

I've been told cyberdad doesn't need other people interpreting his behaviors for him.

Also, pardon my squirrely memory, but, isn't cyberdad NT, here for his autistic daughter? I definitely have a memory of cyberdad throwing his NT-ness in my face, and how it prevented him from being able to respond to me how he wanted, since I was autistic, and he wasn't. Do please correct me if I'm wrong...

I personally don't give a rat's, I'll put a boot up anyone - but by cyberdad's own rulebook, an NT male shouldn't be interpreting an ND woman's posts any more than he claims an ND woman should be interpreting an NT male's posts. His rule, not mine.

Last edited by uncommondenominator on 08 Mar 2024, 2:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Cyberdad is an NT! I feel cheated.

People on the spectrum often struggle with theory of mind and may have trouble appreciating how someone else feels or maybe they’d even have trouble recognizing sexism for what it is. That’s why it is important to listen to women and not try to invalidate or dismiss their our experience. Imagine how it would be if we were dismissive towards other groups if they expressed discrimination on here. Most of the time we listen, offer support, and take necessary action or we should.

The real problem occurs when people are unwilling to listen or change their behavior. As I’ve said before, prejudice is very common due to tribalism and environmental factors. My brother had to overcome bigoted attitudes towards women due to our upbringing. I don’t hold it against him. He’s my best friend.

Based on some of the responses in this thread, I think more people may be aware of the bullying me and other women have experienced on WP than you think. Quite often, the behavior is extremely transparent.

I couldn't help but notice that they switched from arguing with both of us, to just arguing with you, after I reminded them that I was a dude.

I also find it hilarious on some level, that cyberdad didn't notice I was a dude, despite it literally being right under my name, and blitzkreig didn't notice cyberdad was NT, despite him having mentioned it numerous times, but we're supposed to trust their powers of observation... not a judgement, just funny...

I have gone for long periods of not being active on this forum (for a year or so in intervals), so cyberdad mentioning him being NT is easily missed.

Also, I didn't argue with you because I started eating a burger and Cornflake arrived, it was nothing to do with male/female.

No, this has been ongoing behavior. I experienced the same thing in various threads, including ones about religion and the situation with Hamas. People would most often expressly strive to argue with me by addressing my comments in debates even if other members, like FXE or UCD, expressed a similar opinion. Two members that I know of consistently engage in this behavior.

Why would I have got into a debate with you uncommondenominator, anyway?

You didn't quote any comment of mine.

I guess the sexism conspiracy doesn't care about the reasons.

And yet, still an applicable comment, since it was an incorrect assumption about an individual, brought about, supposedly, by a lack of exposure to said individual.

By that same logic, cyberdad, having not been given attention by those women he insists should have totally been into him, he is in even less of a position to know their mind, not more - same way you're lack of interaction explains your lack of knowledge of his identity.

I never made mention of cyberdad's comment where he described the women who have historically ignored him.

I have no opinion on that either way.

You're right - I didn't quote any comment of yours. So what made you think I was referring to you? You ain't the only one here, nor are you the primary individual who was arguing with me. So I too am confused as to why you would take this aimed at you, specifically.

And don't be silly - I can't be sexist towards men - I am one

That may be so - but the reasoning you're using to defend yourself, and the reasoning you've used to defend him, seem to be at odds with each other, if not a little selectively applied. Just observing this. From what I hear, personal observations are highly relevant.

You said the following:



I took 'they' in the sentence "they switched from..." to mean me & cyberdad.

Me too unexpected sexist drama

Anyway I just wanted to add from my limited experience that overall friendships with neurotypical anyone is hard cause they just not get it, even when someone said their are on the spectrum their in same time saying things like "I don't understand, this is easy to do, what's your problem" "deal with it" or even having "good unprompted advices" on stuff that I don't care about, but apparently are socially expected.. makes me suspicious that person indeed is NT.
And usually unprompted advices coming from women, men seems to care less on forceful advising, they may mansplain but that's different scope of unprompted "help"