Should or shouldn't "be yourself" if you're on the

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I have an idea where I would be tolerated.

Either Sweden or North Korea.

Last edited by Tim_Tex on 13 Jul 2009, 1:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I like you're theory, but follow it long enough & you'll realize you're not for anyone. There's a hidden step to the "be yourself" mantra, & that's to be like the people you want to fit in with first. If you're looking to fit into the mainstream crowd better, then you have to become more mainstream. It's an ugly truth, but there's no good way around it. Otherwise, you'll be welcomed less & less as you've found out.

The words "just be yourself" is, to my experience, one of the most useless advice when asked the question "How do I fit in at school?". In order to truly fit in you have to conform to the mainstream culture. In doing so, you'll lose your true identity and interests as you gain the interests of the mainstream culture. Then you can be yourself, as you don't violate mainstream culture's unwritten rules.

This is most evident in high school where any interests other than sport, dating, or losing your virginity will result in at least alienation or at worst peer harassment.

This song from the Dead Kennedys also answers this question.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZH6kpjj3Fas[/youtube]

God, I just had a discussion about this with my Mom.

My take on it- nobody can really, truly be themselves. Nobody. Aspies and other people have to pretend much harder is all.

I actually have a lot more to say, but I don't think it'll be read. God bless and good luck!

I don't know what you think "yourself" is. I act how I want to act and I change it sometimes. It's never forced or "fake".

Then your personality and thoughts are more compatible with people in general. It's really complicated, I think, for some than others. I only know it is for me.

I always remember a line from one comedian: "Everybody said, 'Just be yourself.' So I did, and now they hate me."

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.

Agreed.



I don't think commonality has to do with becoming friends with people who will truely accept you, if you need clones then it's conformity. I'd rather hang out with a diverse group of real friends who are indivuals then with some clones who are "like" me. Have you ever seen the episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Squidward moves into a town where everyone is exactly like him? It drove him nuts. Diversity is a strength.



Only if you're hardheaded and completely resistant to change, you can start socializing with your family if need be, but if you want them to accept you then you have to accept them, the door swings both ways.



Not really, it's a matter of finding out who your real friends are, real friends are not going to dump you because of something stupid and they expect the same of you, again door swings both ways. Try reaching out to your family first, family is family afterall.



Sorry but you do not exist to entertain them and vice versa, real friends will talk about anything with you even if it isn't a particular interest of theirs and if you're a true friend you will do the same.



Why would you want to fit in with cliquesters? Hanging out with a bunch of clones is boring and seems to me as in bad taste. My friends are diverse and individuals, no one dresses the same, listens to the same music, has the same opinions ect. and no one is afraid of expousing their opinion.

Everyone's different if you boil it down far enough. Even members of the most seemingly unoriginal cliques. However, there has to be some common ground to base your associations on or why else would you hang out? I have friends very different from me, but we get together based on common interests. After a while, some of our tastes, mannerisms, & ideals rub off on each other & we become more similar. It just happens, and all I was saying is that you can't be resistant to that.

For example: I'm a republican, where many of my friends are democrats. I could continually state my republican ideals, but that would just spark arguments & annoy people. So, I minimize that part of me around them. I don't change my beliefs, but just prune that part of me back some to interact more smoothly. I'm sure they do it too.

I think "be yourself" is just a guideline you can follow if you want to only surround yourself with people who accept you for you..it might take some time to find those people though, so i guess you need patience..

Just be yourself. But what is yourself?

When I was a child my mother taught me to have good manners.

Then I made a friend and went around to his place.

His mother said (more or less) "We don't put on no airs and graces. We chew with our mouths open. We fart and make jokes about it. We take off our shoes and put our feet on the table".

Is this being "honest" or perhaps they really should put on their best manners?

Am I "being myself" if I pick my nose or scratch my crotch in public?

Or am I just being a pig?

I prefer weird people to regular people so I would say, just be yourself because there are people out there who will appreciate you the way you are.

Basically, just be yourself up to the point other people are comfortable with it. The less you know people or the less openminded they are, the more you have to "play a role" if you want to avoid coming off as annoying or creepy to everyone.