Do you force yourself to go out when you don't want to?

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I definitely force myself, but not often. I don't always have a good time, but it's worth it when I do. I'm lucky in that, upon first meeting at least, people quite like me. I may be awkward and have a difficult time communicating sometimes, but sometimes people look past that. I don't go out often because of my schedule with work/school/internship/work/martial arts, but I try when I get opportunities. I've learned I'm not a party person, but it's nice to see friends when I can!

I get worked up now if I was to attend a get-together at my Nan's (my dad's mum) when all the cousins on his side come. I'm close to all the cousins on my mum's side, but I'm not with my dad's side any more. I used to be when we were all little, but since I got into my teens I grew apart from them, and now we're all grown-ups now and having their own lives, I feel I don't know how to be with them - even though they are all my age and we all grew up together.
They are all into drinking, dressing up and partying, and they all seem to have a lot of confidence (that's what you get for being the only f*****g Aspie in your family - you completely miss out). Some of the girls are those sort who are excitible and loud and just natter on and on and everyone listens to them, so I don't get a word in edgeways anyway. So I just sit there feeling like a fish out of water.

But this is my own family I'm talking about here. Fancy having to force yourself to spend an evening with your own family who you grew up close with! The other month they all went on a little week-end holiday by the sea, to celebrate my granddad's 80th birthday (we hadn't all gone on holiday together for a few years) - but I panicked at the thought of going, so me and my mum didn't go. When my dad and my brother went, I felt so safe and comfortable being at home. And on the Saturday night I thought of them drinking at the clubhouse, or in some other bar, and it made me feel even more secure at home. I would have gone if it was just a few of us, because I can talk to them easier, but when it's all of us and they all like drinking alcohol together (which I don't) then I just didn't see the point in me going. Even though I could have went, and just sat in the caravan instead of going off with them, but then I felt that I would probably feel obliged to have to come with them to the bar.....see - it all sounds awkward, so that's why I thought I'll just have a nice peaceful week-end at home with mum. She doesn't like drinking and socializing either - and she's NT.

I couldn't, even if I tried. It's just me and myself, you can't go looking for social interaction when it's just you. Maybe I'll walk up to these girls and ask them how their day is going... OR I can keep dreaming and just keep walking.

It's pointless in my case. If nobody is accompanying me I don't even have a chance. I can't just ask some random person to go out and about with me either...


Welcome to my world, joe90. I can't stand my family either. My dad's side is very nice, and honestly I like being around them, but they also are very boring, so... it's not very engaging. My mom's side of the family is full of drama queens and idiots, so obviously I don't want to go there either.

Nope. I don't see why I should put myself at discomfort by choice simply to conform.

Maybe you should do it for the greater good. That's a terrible attitude to have. You'll miss out on a lot.

Asp-Z is right. Who wants to feel like a fish out of water?

Parties aren't me. If I want to spend time with a friend, I'd rather go to a quiet coffee shop, or buy some lunch and go to their house to eat.

It'd be like getting a loud glamerous popular party-person to come into a quiet library and spend an evening there. Bet they wouldn't like it if it ain't them.

The purpose of life is to focus on the things you want, and not worry about missing out on the things you don't like. Anyway, I can't be missing out if I know I don't like what I'm missing. I love sitting at home on a Saturday night, instead of spending my Saturday nights drinking and dancing at a loud clubhouse with a load of rowdy hyper people. I'll get eaten alive! Anyway, I don't like drinking, I don't smoke, I don't like tarting myself up, I can't dance, I can't socialize very good.... So what if I'm missing out?

''Miss out on what? Being awkward and wasting time at social events not even knowing what to say to anyone when I could be doing something constructive that I enjoy?'' Well said, Asp-Z. Parties and strong socializing only exists for people who like that sort of thing. It's no good turning up to a party and pretend to be really confident and start chatting and drinking and ect if it's not in you. It's impossible.

Doesn't have to be for social occasions. To actually wonder around take in the fresh, semi-intoxicating, air wonder around for a couple of miles are far more healthy then being sat down for hours on end.

Anyway, even though my friend who normally entices me out is too ill to go today i'm still gonna go along to the local aspie spazz meeting. Hang out with my spazz crewe, perfectly valid excuse to drink some fine ale.

I am NOT a social person at all but I do occasionally have to go to social things like funerals, weddings ect but that hasn't happened in a long time. I go cuz they are family things & I am sort of expected to go but I don't usually talk much. My relatives are used to me not talking much. I keep to myself or stay near my parents & wait to leave. I'm usually glad I went after but I'm more glad to be back. It's good to get out of the house sometimes

When I was 16 I went to a party for my cousin's 14th birthday. It was just a disco hall, with a little bar, and a karioki (I can't spell it). She was inviting loads of friends who I didn't know, but my mum and her mum were going too, so I was going to stick with them, and maybe talk to other grown-ups who I knew (because they're easier to chat to than loud, shrieking teenage girls).
So as I was getting ready, I developed really bad cramps in my stomach (it's getting personal, but I don't care), and I went to the toilet and found I had the runs. I started to cry because there's nothing worse than getting the runs just before you're going out. It was about half 7 aswell, so I just wanted to stay home and go to bed, but I thought I might aswell give it a go (see, I have given parties a chance).
When I got there I had to hold it in because there were loud teenagers in and out the toilets and standing about laughing and mucking about, and I didn't want to let it all out there. So I asked my mum to just get me a drink of water at the bar, then I sat down at the table, trying to ignore the pain. I wanted to go home already. I hadn't been there 5 seconds and I knew I had a long time ahead of us to just sitting there at this noisy party, with people dancing around me and making me dizzy, and the disco lights were cheap and dim so I couldn't see who was who properly, and the teenagers were really hyper and outgoing and one or two glared at me, and I had those horrible stomach pains you get when you have the runs.....it was a horrible time of my life.

That was a horrible experience, and in the end I started feeling horribly sick, so I started whinging (I had grew out of whinging to my mum a few years ago, but I had no choice this time because of the state I was in). Other girls looked at me and sniggered critically, but I didn't care because I was in pain. But my mum wanted to go anyway because she's not keen on parties. So my mum's sister dropped us back home and I heaved a sigh of relief!

Never again am I going to a party, whether I get the runs or not.

yes lately i have, but i dont do anything social. i almost have to force myself out of bed sometimes im so unmotivated

Every time I leave my house.