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Origaia
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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25 Feb 2006, 10:56 am

I think i agree with most of what you've said there pyraxis.
I've learned how to socialise a lot better then when i was younger but i still find i need to escape at times, it's funny though i use the bathroom as an excuse to get away from things too, i'm particularly bad if i have to go to a family gathering like a wedding or something. I'm outside or going to the bathroom every 5-10 mins just to recover :|



Laz
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25 Feb 2006, 7:40 pm

TheBladeRoden wrote:
I've lost some social skills over the past few years


Behind the fridge



ozymandias
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26 Feb 2006, 1:07 pm

My social skills are passable. I do well with my nursing job and interacting with my elderly patients. (I'm a geriatric/hospice specialist) But, the interactions with workmates can be frustrating, especially with the Admin. I only work part time or Per Diem so it isn't that big a factor. I don't play the socio/politics game of most medical facilities and a lot of the nursing aides seem to appreciate my low key approach to being in charge of them.

Fortunately my wife is not a social creature either, so that spares me a lot of anxiety on that angle. My daughter is extremely sociable at 13 and wants to go out a lot, so I pretty much have to psyche myself up for those situations. Since I'm the Full time dad! But my wife and I want her to have every opportunity to practice her social skills, so what doesn't kill me makes me stronger! :wink:

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Nomaken
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26 Feb 2006, 7:57 pm

*rolls into the room, rolls around everyone in a circle 4 or 5 times, and then rolls out*

^_^


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ozymandias
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26 Feb 2006, 9:47 pm

ozymandias watches Nomaken complete the circuit and exit and decides to do the same....without the rolling as it makes him dizzy! 8O :P

Peace


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msamericanpartiot
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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27 Mar 2006, 9:17 pm

Mine are fine on line but in person not. I have been told that is why I was fired from the only job I had here. I have been told to my face by a shrink that I dont have the social skills someone my age should have. Boy did that ever hurt and still does. I spent 9 months in a mental hospistal at age 15 and they held my chart over me saying I was here to learn social skills. My thought was why do I want to learn them when the other inmates treated me like dirt basically.



lunatix
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29 Mar 2006, 9:54 am

Other people have said that I showed little or no emotion at all, and that I'm a hard person to talk to. The emotion part I could care less, because as far as I am concerned, it's pure frivolity. However, the actual verbal communication part is what confuses me - I use clear pronounciation, appropriate words, and I speak loudly enough to be audible.



Fiz
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29 Mar 2006, 7:15 pm

My social skills aren't fantastic but theyre not rubbish either, I just get stumped for conversation sometimes even when I have a lot to talk about and I've been told that appear 'not to care'. Its like, what am I supposed to do, fake a facial expression?



Astreja
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30 Mar 2006, 6:26 am

Verbal skills and I simply do not get along. There are usually non-sequitur sized holes in conversation from where my brain took a detour and my mouth had to run to catch up. It's either that, or pausing for a breath and literally forgetting the phrase I had been saying.

I can handle low-pressure socializing, but it takes a lot out of me emotionally. Most of the social cues go over my head, I tend to answer rhetorical questions, and I feel self-conscious through the whole encounter. I either go blank while trying to compose small talk, or go running off on some bizarre tangent. Even if it was a good conversation or party, I feel tired and beat-up.

High-pressure situations have the potential to be really nasty. I freeze and can't find any words, or get enraged and ride the adrenaline wave for a good five minutes (something that has happened only a handful of times in my life, and scared the cr*p out of me every single time).



TigerFire
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30 Mar 2006, 9:09 am

My social verbal skills with the people of my same sex needs a lot of work but with women I can speak fine once I get out what I try to get them to know about me. My written social interaction I think they're doing fine.


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CockneyRebel
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30 Mar 2006, 10:48 am

My Social Skills are good, when I'm Online. However, they could use a little improvement Offline.



TigerFire
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30 Mar 2006, 11:12 am

Laz wrote:
TheBladeRoden wrote:
I've lost some social skills over the past few years


Behind the fridge


Laz I bet you've lost some too over the years. I bet they're in the ice box.


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Comkeen
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30 Mar 2006, 8:15 pm

Better. I finally have a good friend to hook up w/and we went to the movies last night. She doesnt know I'm an aspie and I dont think she had any problems w/having me around. ;)



Aiden
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31 Mar 2006, 11:44 am

Mine skills, are terribe just terrible :( because I never know what to talk about :x



Keeno
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31 Mar 2006, 3:29 pm

I'm under the impression that my social skills, even by Aspie standards, are poorly developed.

Yet even then they've shown a dramatic improvement over the last 4 years or so. But only up to a point. When I look at it, I have only actually been socially successful in one-on-one situations. I still struggle to fit in in group situations, and I'm still stuck for words in conversation to the point I USUALLY get marginalised.

Not that you would always know it. I've become pretty good at starting up chats with women on the street, at bus stops (and other queues), on buses and in shops etc. This is partly because I really want to talk to women, and partly because I've learned good eye contact which helps in talking to the opposite sex. But this is all small talk, and going deeper with these women would require more effort than probably other Aspies, let alone NT's. And I know it. Many of you have had at least some success in relationships, which is a point I'm yet to reach.



pooftis
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31 Mar 2006, 4:15 pm

My social skills are weird. I am great with one on one when I know the person or in structured things (I did debate in high school and mock trials and talking was easy there) but chit-chat I have no skills in at all, which I am told is percieved as being stand-offish.


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