Drinking and Partying, Clubbing
More power to you. I wish I were that comfortable in these situations, but even if I'm in a room full of people I know and like, I still feel unsettled. I can handle it in small doses, but once I hit a certain threshold I have to leave.
Well there you go. It just depends on the person, I guess. I love smoking pot and drinking (and who doesn't like sex?) Now partying hard in big crowds with people I don't know makes me uncomfortable- I'm not confident in those situations at all. It's the individual.
I've never liked bars, clubs, parties, ball games, or any of that stuff. I've always felt uncomfortable at them. However, there was a period of my life, when I lived with my parents and sister, that I was often pressured to go to these kind of events. The rule pretty much became if my sister goes, I was going with her. It really disgusted me I was treated that way by all of them, and never understood why. They gave all these reasons that made no sense like I need to get out more, I need to learn how to party, since my sister wanted to go to medical school, I needed to go with her to show I support what she wants to do, and the list goes on. Once she moved out, my parents let me be but then she moved back in and it started up all over again.
I would venture to guess if I was the into going out and partying and she was the one who liked staying in, I would have been the one with the problem for wanting to go out. She was the gold standard I could never meet.
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PrisonerSix
"I am not a number, I am a free man!"
It annoys the HELL out of me when people make a big deal out of drinking because they think it makes them look cool. I remember, the second week of school, seeing one of my high school friends' albums on Facebook titled "We pregame harder than you party" except with stupid decoration. This annoyed me for several reasons.
I looked at the album. It is a group of six people who went to my high school drinking in one of the group's apartment (no new people whatsoever) and taking pictures of themselves. All night. Meanwhile, the Aspie over here was partying with a LOT of new people, talking, dancing, and even more. I blacked out, found a rose from somewhere (I still have no idea whatsoever where that came from), wandered a couple blocks to another party where I gave it to a VERY cute girl (I had help finding her). I didn't put a word of it on Facebook (like making my status "had a wild night" or "is hung over").
It cracks me up and pisses me off at the same time that they were being out-partied by an Aspie and still thought they were super cool.
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I'm never gonna dance again, Aspie feet have got no rhythm.
I hear you, I have no interest in those activities; they would make me feel completely nervous and out of place. I understand that the young adults of today like doing those activities and if so, fine by them. The problem for me is I can't seem to fine any people who have my interests and tastes and I just seem to stick out like a sore thumb. I hate the idea of partying and drinking, I'd be in a very loud environment that would hurt my ears, chances are I could run into people who are trouble and I could make an ass out of myself. I would prefer a more quiet setting or one where there isn't so much social interaction expectations.
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"The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. The best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."
Well there you go. It just depends on the person, I guess. I love smoking pot and drinking (and who doesn't like sex?) Now partying hard in big crowds with people I don't know makes me uncomfortable- I'm not confident in those situations at all. It's the individual.
This just goes to show how different people are. Although I feel just as awkward in social situations, particularly big crowds. Being around a group of friends changes the whole situation for me. A couple of people that are on my level make me feel welcome. That being said, I would rather be in a bar than a club. I feel more comfortable being able to talk normally at a bar or a table.
Personally, I like to drink. A couple of beers (if your of age and not driving) will not hurt anyone, I feel it will loosen me up, although that is a poor excuse to drink. I also like to smoke, the only reason I quit was because of health and the price of a pack. I will still smoke an occasional cigar, but thats about it. I don't smoke pot, but I have yet to find anyone who didn't like it, so I imagine I would as well.
I still drink moderatly and hang out at bars/clubs with friends once in a while, not as much as I did when I was younger though. Back then, it was one of things I did to "fit in". I had a lot of good times, and when I drank, I felt way more normal then when I didn't.
I met a lot of women that way (and no, they aren't all whores there! Most aren't and just want to fit it and meet people too). Something about alcohol and my mind, I don't know, just makes things easier to say
I respect those who don't choose that lifestyle. I'm not sure if I would of done things differently though. I usually have to experience things to learn from it. Fortunately, I don't have an addictive personality, so all those type of things I've tried never latched on.
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For me, living a "normal" life is a lot like learning a new language. I can pick-up a lot of the words as I go, mimick the slang, but I will always have an accent!
Especially when you're on ecstasy, eh?
Young people go to parties to get drugs and have sex. These activities elevate dopamine levels in the brain. People with mental 'differences' generally have different dopaminergic wiring to normal people, meaning that they don't take pleasure in activities that normal people can almost literally live only for the sake of doing every weekend.
whatamarshmallow
Raven
Joined: 14 Feb 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 113
Location: Long Island, New York
I could never relax at those things all I did was worry about what girl to dance with or how I look. I did get a lot of numbers and dances, and I also got turned down a lot..no big deal. sometimes girls would even ask me to dance.
The big deal is that I wasn't being myself. I was being someone that I wasn't. I was dressing thuggish and trying to be cool. There's nothing wrong with being cool, but I talked in ways that weren't just me.
There were too many lights, dancing and people putting on a front (a false personality)...kinda like I was. There's too much tension and competition so I finally stopped going.
Now there are all these goody good girls who's parents have them on lockdown all day and now they are getting ready to go off to college. One girl's parents let her drink so she threw a party and invited her friends and some other people. Basically everyone was invited. But they make a big deal outta drinking and stuff, and even my friend said so as well. I don't like all of that.
So yesterday my brothers go out to clubs (such as Stoudemires) to bring in the new years and my moms bf acts like I'm kinda weird cuz I don't like going.
I dont like going because they are much for me. Too much action, noise, drunk people, and I don't have any money anyways. and the girls always get in like 10-15 dollars less which is bullcrap.
It's like men go to clubs to get laid, and girls go there to get attention and have fun. Men don't even like doing it, besides getting drunk.
Idk...Im afraid of going to college which is right by all that stuff. I just wanna be me, and not go to clubs, but still have sum good friends to just hang out with.
I think i'm one of the few people on the spectrum that I've observed to like these things. Really though, it depends. I would LOVE to go to a rave someday, or even go to a club sometime, but most of my friends are not into any of that stuff, and I wouldn't like to go alone. I guess it might be different because I'm a girl but I definitely see no shame in partying up in the company of good friends! It can be awkward at times, but I always seem to have a good enough time where after a little bit, I stop thinking about how awkward I might be acting. It really depends on who you're going with too though. I have to feel comfortable around the people I am out with, and in general with the environment. Otherwise I won't really socialize past the people I came with. I wouldn't worry about these things though. I despised all of these things until I was 21, ironically. I guess maybe it can get a little easier with age/experiences?
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(Diagnosed PDD-NOS as a baby. Not sure where I fall on the spectrum these days...)
I used to think when people said things like this, it was only what they wanted to happen to the party crowd girls. But I've learned it's absolutely true. They somehow become fat, weathered, and skanky, and damn if they don't look nothing like they did back in their hey day. Amazing.
If you don't go, he might think you don't like him. Or you could tell him they unsettle you. Or you could just go for him.