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Social expectations that make no sense to you

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Aimless
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23 Mar 2010, 4:53 pm

OK, the things that people expect and want that I don't understand-
sororities and fraternities
diamond engagement rings
large weddings
burials



Apple_in_my_Eye
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24 Mar 2010, 12:00 am

tweety_fan wrote:
what are some social expectations that confuse you, that make you wonder "why?"
They can be common in society or just with people you know.
I don't get why
- If you are a young couple that have just gotten married people will continually ask "when are you going to have kids?" (This happens to people I work with)
- If you are over 30 and single, people will ask you continually "when are you going to get married?"


I remember a joke about the above questions which was that people want everyone else to be as miserable as they are.



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24 Mar 2010, 1:23 am

gving up personal data to a perfect stranger who has no need for the info


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Who_Am_I
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24 Mar 2010, 5:00 am

Quote:
"when are you going to have kids?"



Quote:
"when are you going to get married?"


Translation: when are you finally going to contribute to the survival of the species?


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Eggman
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24 Mar 2010, 5:07 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
Quote:
"when are you going to have kids?"



Quote:
"when are you going to get married?"


Translation: when are you finally going to contribute to the survival of the species?


When? Its as if it will happen, there is nothing other then it happening...it should be ARE


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Moog
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24 Mar 2010, 5:23 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
Quote:
"when are you going to have kids?"



Quote:
"when are you going to get married?"


Translation: when are you finally going to contribute to the survival of the species?


Absolutely. The continuation of the species is very important, you know.

It's like when people ask me when I'm going to get a job. No one will let me have one! I always say, have you got any jobs for me? That shuts them up. I feel very similar on questions about when I'm going to get a girlfriend/get married/have kids. No one will let me do those things!


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24 Mar 2010, 5:26 am

Moog wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
Quote:
"when are you going to have kids?"



Quote:
"when are you going to get married?"


Translation: when are you finally going to contribute to the survival of the species?


Absolutely. The continuation of the species is very important, you know.

It's like when people ask me when I'm going to get a job. No one will let me have one! I always say, have you got any jobs for me? That shuts them up. I feel very similar on questions about when I'm going to get a girlfriend/get married/have kids. No one will let me do those things!


Ones reproduction is only a concern to the one and the one they are reproducing with


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Moog
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24 Mar 2010, 7:18 am

Eggman wrote:
Moog wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
Quote:
"when are you going to have kids?"



Quote:
"when are you going to get married?"


Translation: when are you finally going to contribute to the survival of the species?


Absolutely. The continuation of the species is very important, you know.

It's like when people ask me when I'm going to get a job. No one will let me have one! I always say, have you got any jobs for me? That shuts them up. I feel very similar on questions about when I'm going to get a girlfriend/get married/have kids. No one will let me do those things!


Ones reproduction is only a concern to the one and the one they are reproducing with


That might be how you see it but it's not true. The continuation of the species is a matter that is of importance to the community at large, and they see it as their business to try and keep the process chugging along, and maintain healthy numbers of new brats.


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24 Mar 2010, 10:42 am

Descartes wrote:
Guys, particularly adolescent ones, doing that handshake thing whenever they see their "homeboys" or whatever. I always thought that was weird..


It was developed so that guys could pass drugs to each other without being noticed. The elaborate handshake thing distracts from the actual transaction.

Descartes wrote:
It also annoys me that people tend to be in a hurry to get married before they turn 30. I know why they do it, because they feel pressured by society, but I never really understood why it's so important to marry off before turning 30. I know of some people who got married immediately or a few years after graduating high school.


Some feel pressure, but not all. Some are actually in love and want to commit to each other. Some believe that all their dreams will come true. Some are realistic. No one can generalise on the reasons. Although, saying that I am a bit freaked out by how young some people are when they get married. I didn't know myself fully when I was younger. They don't know how much they will change.

It's not so much pressure from society that makes me want to get married myself. I actually like the idea of having a buddy who I can share everything with. (but this idea has only grown on me because I can see how happy my sister and fiance are. I believe that they truly do love each other, even though they are far too young for marriage). I will be 30 next year. But I feel like my options are decreasing because other people have got married too young and there aren't any single guys my age left in my social circle. Time to move into a new social circle I guess.



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24 Mar 2010, 11:58 am

Why the hell do I have to put my knife and fork in the middle of the plate after eating?

Why do people say "alright" to mean hello, then ask how you are?

Why is everyone expected to live just like everyone else? This is an extension of the questions raised by the OP really - but everyone is expected by default to want to get married and have kids etc, which IMO is stupid.

Why is it rude to have your elbows on the table?

Why are we expected to say "please" and "thank you"? The words are meaningless because we all hear them so much, and I feel no better for it.



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24 Mar 2010, 2:46 pm

Moog wrote:
Eggman wrote:
Moog wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
Quote:
"when are you going to have kids?"



Quote:
"when are you going to get married?"


Translation: when are you finally going to contribute to the survival of the species?


Absolutely. The continuation of the species is very important, you know.

It's like when people ask me when I'm going to get a job. No one will let me have one! I always say, have you got any jobs for me? That shuts them up. I feel very similar on questions about when I'm going to get a girlfriend/get married/have kids. No one will let me do those things!


Ones reproduction is only a concern to the one and the one they are reproducing with


That might be how you see it but it's not true. The continuation of the species is a matter that is of importance to the community at large, and they see it as their business to try and keep the process chugging along, and maintain healthy numbers of new brats.


Yes it is true


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24 Mar 2010, 5:38 pm

Aimless wrote:

Also, people expect you to be ambitious and can't understand if you're not.


god that annoys me something awfull, had quite a few people become very annoyed when i told them i had no interest in being self-employed

edit: unintentional rhyme!



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25 Mar 2010, 1:51 am

musicboxforever wrote:
Why do sales people ask me "how are you?" when they phone. I don't know them and I don't want them to know how I am and I don't want to know how they are.

Because it's good customer service. Their boss would slap them on the wrists if they didn't use the that bit of common courtesy. They're usually reading off a sheet in from of them, anyway.

And the general 'how are you' is a good conversation starter.


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25 Mar 2010, 2:01 am

not sure it counts...but it creeps me out when a server waits by me to eat to see if Ilike it,


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PLA
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25 Mar 2010, 5:47 am

pensieve wrote:
musicboxforever wrote:
Why do sales people ask me "how are you?" when they phone. I don't know them and I don't want them to know how I am and I don't want to know how they are.

Because it's good customer service. Their boss would slap them on the wrists if they didn't use the that bit of common courtesy. They're usually reading off a sheet in from of them, anyway.

And the general 'how are you' is a good conversation starter.

Yeah, it's something to say to establish attention. "Marco" and "Polo" would have the same effect.


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25 Mar 2010, 5:52 am

I don't understand Christmas. Or parties. Or behaving in a festive manner for reasons I can't see.

I actually like to talk about the weather but with someone who can hold their own about it. I want to talk about global wind patterns and cloud sequences, etc. Most people seem to just want to rain or sunshine.