CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I've been known to do that a few times. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one though who makes that mistake, hoping it'll get better.
I did this frequently when I was younger. I can remember doing it from junior high, through my teen years (which led to intense social embarrassment on my part and probably a significant reason for the ostracizing I received because of it), and right on through to my late 20's.
It's related to not noticing social cues or recognizing them for what they mean - non verbal body language.
By my late 20's I learned what I was missing all those years. I learned this by observing others. The interesting thing that happened was I was hosting a party and someone else had this problem, not knowing when to leave. The ensuing conversation about this person by other people and what they said about the behaviour opened my eyes as to how everyone else perceives things and I recognized myself in that person who didn't know when to leave.
Analyzing the situation, what goes on is that either I'm not interested in socializing
at all because the whole crowd bores me or I'm irritated by something in the environment or someone and I just want to leave,
or if I do get interested in something, like a topic of conversation with a person or two, than I get hooked into that and miss all other cues. It's like I become oblivious to anything beyond the intensity of my thoughts and the conversation.
I had to force myself to become aware of not getting so hooked like that, as well as making sure to pay attention to non verbal cues.
As for social functions, which are sparse for me, but for when I do go, I have rules. I either set a time that I'm leaving by and stick to that or if it's a late night situation, then I take the cue from the first person or people leaving. The minute someone starts going, I wait a bit and I'm the next to leave. I never stick around to the end anymore, no matter how interesting or fascinating something may be.
09 Apr 2010, 12:21 pm
