How to "Be Yourself" and fit in

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being yourself and fitting in is an oxymoron. ever since grade school i got real good at pretending i was normal try that. just act like it

This is very good advice. I really like this. I want to try some of these techniques

I find it almost impossible to not be myself, no matter how hard I try. However I think that if you have to change yourself just to get some people to like you, then it's not worth it, they should like you for who you are, not who you're trying to be.

I do tend to listen to conversations for a few minutes, even if they bore me, to see if there is anything AT ALL interesting in there. I will also go to school events if there is ANY CHANCE that I'll like them. I'm trying to expand my palate of interests without forcing myself to spend hours and hours on something I completely hate.

If you think people are defined by their hobbies and interests you have a very narrow and simplistic view. People are much more complex than whether they like Lady Gaga or Nirvana or Haydn. My extreme social isolation isn't caused by my interest in math or RPGs or law. Yes, these interests are a part of who I am, but if tomorrow I decided I liked Call of Duty more than Dragon Age: Origins or if I picked up needlework, I wouldn't magically transform into a different person, and even if they were my defining characteristics there are many people who also share them (maybe even all three) who have no trouble fitting in. I have been and continue to be ostracized because I am perceived as bitchy and selfish because I don't like being touched and can't go to concerts or restaurants because of my sensory issues and as an emotionless “ice queen” because I have difficulty communicating with and understanding other people. Maybe your problems being accepted by people are superficial but mine aren't. And of course, I'm more than my Aspergers, but I'm pretty sure that's what people usually have problems with whether they are aware of it or not. I’d also be a completely different person if I wasn’t an aspie, and it’s taken me a really long time to be okay with that, so thanks but no thanks. Sorry for the rant, but people (family members and therapists) have been offering me similar "help" for years, and I'm really sick of hearing how if I just tried a little harder to be normal (i.e. "less autistic") I could have friends and boyfriends and I could be just as happy and well-adjusted as they are. I'm really not as bitter as I probably seem. I realized a while ago that I can either try to change who I am and pretend to be normal or I can be honest with myself about who I am but be alone, and I've already come to terms with it.

I try to fake and pretend myself.

I live in a colony where there are two strata of people one is the poorer lot who are less educated and who have vices like drinking, gambling etc.
The other strata is the educated lot who are not into drinking and who hold lot of value to decency, social norms etc.

One lady who talks me is from the upper strata and she keeps telling how this lower strata people are derogatory and their way of living everything about them is disgusting....i just nod and say yes to everything she says.

But actually she doesnt know i was brought up in such a lower strata only and my parents had all those bad behaviours and even my relatives are such drunkards she doesnt know my real background i just continue faking with her and she is not able to make out.

I have noticed that people in my office dont talk with me because I am the ice queen, snobbish etc i keep to myself and not smart like them....but when they need help and all i do offer myself so they have not formed bad opinion about me and now slowly I am able to fit in though not much.

I think its important to fake oneself and i have noticed many socially sucessful people doing that they are manipulative also...

when i acted to be MYSELF i was doing fairly badly because i used to dress very loud, used to go and talk with anyone and everyone i was also doing what my heart told me to do rather then thinking about social norms like i remember chasing a handsome guy without thinking about repercussion to my image, reputation and also the reaction of that guy.

I have always to keep in mind that i am socially backward 20 years what others learned when they were 12-13-14 I am learning when I am 32-33-34...so these years are my eye opening years.