Feeling low after social interractions?

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I went to a card party on Sunday.

At first, there weren't that many people there; all of the people there were people I've known for years. I was fine for a while - even played cards. But then more and more people started showing up and making more noise. Keeping up with the card game was difficult enough, but then the noise became a big distraction and made me feel some kind of way where I was drained and felt like I needed to leave. It was affecting my card game and my ability to "fixtrate" on what was being played. It didn't help that the place had become hot.

I simply told everyone that I was tired and needed to leave. Before, I would've stayed to try to people-please which would've resulted in me feeling worse and the making more and bigger mistakes at cards...meaning my partner would get mad at me. So I left once we FINALLY had been beaten!

At least I could boast of having unseated some champion bid whist players along with running a Boston on a Six Special in Diamonds (yes...I know that probably means NOTHING to most people here, but I just had to say it)!

These are some very encouraging people who've been in my corner for many, many years.

Not in the same form. I twice engaged in hobbies that involved interaction with many very friendly people. I gave up on both activities partly because after a few years I would feel down immediately after leaving a meeting. That happened because I never connected with any of those nice people. Any interaction was fleeting, and didn't go anywhere beyond the moment. After some time that became depressing. Now I have more solitary hobbies.

I find that any social interaction requires considerable conscious effort on my part.There's a lot of ensuring that I listen, don't talk over other people, maintaining eye contact and appropriate physical posture etc. - things that may come automatically to an NT. So at the end of any social encounter, I do feel a kind of mental fatigue. Luckily I don't replay it and criticise my performance as much as I once used to, as I try not to let anything like that prey on my mind.

I do this also.

And I have a big feeling of emptiness after the interaction - either that same day or the next day. Then it passes and I'm fine with my regular singular routine. Then another interaction and the cycle begins again.

It is the same for me.

Last friday I had an opening, it was my own single exhibition. Horrific.
To install everything etc. was exhausting. But the opening itself was the worst.
I had to work before it, the day after and came back home totally wrecked.
Sunday, monday and tuesday I needed to recover.
But somehow I am proud to manage events like this, I just need to plan enough time just for myself afterwards.

A lot of times, I can't help but wonder why I torture myself.

Tuesday night is the trivia night at the bar which I frequent. So for much of the week, I look forward to going out and having a good time. Playing the game and being around other people.

Then I get there and I just don't feel like talking to anyone under the age of 35 (I'm 24) - for any significant amount of time. So I leave the place, and more often than not I'm freaking out over what these people think of me and what I had done wrong there.

And then by about Friday, I'm looking forward to seeing these people again.

It depends on what's going on. If it's just being with a couple people casually talking, etc I sometimes end analyzing what was said afterwards. Now if it's with a group of people and I'm having a great time, later on I end up feeling what I can only describe as a slow crash. Like being so wound up it's like a high, then bottoming out.

Wow - good job!

I think it got easier, all-in-all, as I got to the point in my life that I didn't care quite as much as what people thought about me, or spent so much time trying to be sure I did all the social stuff "right". I'm in my fifties now, so I've got quite a bit of practice and am much, much more confident in my abilities than I was when I was 20.

That and I've turned into a cranky old broad who just doesn't give much of a damn anymore!

Exactly! Only I get so caught up in the analysis of what happened that I often end up emailing the person or people with whom I've interacted to try to fish for what they thought. I always end up being even more confused and feel even lower. I can't imagine that painstakingly reexamining an interaction which seemed innocuous to the other person would make me seem sane to them.

A "low dose" of social interaction is enough to stave off loneliness for a while.

But a social interaction where I perceive I said the wrong thing or was uncomfortable takes sooooooo much out of me. And during and after any conversation, I often beat myself up for stupid things I said, or what I should have said.

Leave me be with a book for a while, and I'll be happy.

I need a recovery time. Since I have discovered this I try to schedule my socializing (why yes, I schedule it, lol) with gaps around it to allow time to gear up and down before and after. Hot baths, a puzzle, a book, a video, a drive...etc.