I sabotaged myself

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hmmm...

self sabotage, guess I got that facet too...

well, then heads up people cause I too am a fool.

A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.

Out of the overflow of the mouth the heart speaks -
What's in our hearts will always influence the way we act. If our hearts are focused on pure and godly things, our words and actions will reflect that. But if our hearts are selfish or filled with mischief, the words we speak will make that clear as well.

I am parodoxial my good is great as my bad is horrible. I genuinely care for all, and I too have a hard time keeping my mouth shut at the right time.
I thought it was just bad timing, bad luck, now I see its just me...

yeh I speak as a fool from the heart...

My son was just saying the other day that he 'stares funny' at the other kids because then they tease him about *that* instead of others stuff... so in effect, he is trying to control the bullying as much as he can. (Don't worry folks, once I heard that we had a big talk with the school and for the most part, everyone involved has apologized and stopped. Not every situation resolves as easily, but I'm grateful this one did.)

My point though, about the sabotaging yourself... If you find you are afraid of what other folks might think of you, or afraid to get your hopes up that they might like you if you 'act normal' and then, once they see you 'let loose' they will not like you anymore: perhaps you are trying to control the situation into something you are familiar with, even if familiar means unhappy.

Ugh, I'm not sure if I'm making myself clear or not....

Like a previous poster mentioned, you seem to know what the problem is, but not why you are doing it or how to stop it.
I guess I'm just saying... Maybe you do it so folks know who you are right up front, take it or leave it. Or maybe its to give them the reason to push you away on purpose, cause you've had too many past experiences like that. If its going to happen anyway, might as well be on purpose?

While I understand embarrassment and frustration at making new friends (and don't have much good advice there on how to do it) .... just remember that pretending to be something you are not will not make you happy in the long run either. If you are a beautiful piece of rough granite, ... maybe just try to smooth over the rough edges rather than trying to reform the rock into something else.

I'm not so sure I agree 100% with your therapist that you're TRYING to scare people away.

I think it's that you haven't learned yet the social strategies to make and keep friends. Often this is as much, or more, about what NOT to do/say, than what TO do/say.

The *good* news in this case is that these social skills can be learned, and that you can improve. I would ask your therapist more about specific steps and what is inappropriate in the beginning of a friendship. You are right that telling someone too many personal details right away is one red flag. NTs just don't do that. They talk about the weather, the baseball game, etc. -- all the things that we think are boring and inconsequential. So it takes an attention to know that those boring things are actually what is appropriate in these beginning conversations.