Getting emotionally attatched to people in real life

Post Reply New Topic

The people that I get attatched to treat me like an adult, or at least like a normal person, instead of like Rainman.

wow, my first post here!

When I started browsing the posts, a light went on! Here, all these years, I thought that I was just a freak.
On relationships, I went through a long period of feeling that I was a total reject, totally unappealing, even though others would sometimes comment that girls/women were hitting on me which I would dismiss.

Around 10 years ago (at age 30), I was seeing a woman who, upon our breakup (at my initiative) told me that I was extremely needy. After some introspection, I realized she was right. I either didn't make friends at all or bacame totally attached to whomever would show me some friendship. My "crushes" had no substance except that the person would be friendly to me.

Throughout my life, I never knew how to react to people. Were they being friendly or coming on to me? Were people complimenting me or being sarcastic?

I've always thought I was "odd' in that I could have "good friends" in school, but really feel nothing for them. I'd move away and have no inclination to ever call them and so they'd just disappear out of my life. And I've been fine with that. Same with relationships. I can end a relationship and never look back. Even family, I have little/no desire to visit or talk to.

I've learned how I "should" behave, and can force myself to be "sensitive" to other's feelings in order not to hurt people I care for. But really, inside, I feel like there's no substance behind my feelings. It just makes me feel like an alien. Glad to see I'm not the only one...

Welcome to WrongPlanet, Astro!

Dunc

I've come back to this thread because I relised that I actually do become terribly emotionally attatched to certain people, and it's totally destroying me.

They are usually women older than me, and I really want to be their friend. What I want from them is so undescribable I don't even want to begin to describe it.

It's like wanting someone to care, a mentor, a friend, all in one.

I become attached to these people and really want to know them. If things don't work out like that I get terribly upset, I keep thinking about them and can't seem to get over it.

I'm going through that at the moment and would rather die as I just can't let it go. It's only specific people though.

If I don't stop doing this it will throw me into depression and i'lll break down.

It's like being dumped by someone you love?

i used to have this problem, it led to my own embarassment. Now I dont trust NTs until i have known them for at least a year and even then I still hold a lot of stuf back.
A