Covering up your AS

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I remember having to go to a party once, I hated every minute of it. I just sat outside the room instead, it was a lot more fun than staying in that hell hole.

I can cover it up pretty well given people who don't know me. It is also extremely taxing.

I can hide it for a while, but it soon becomes obvious that things aren't right

Its a lot of work trying to interpret people's body language, forcing myself to smile and look happy, try and think of things to say, say things without them coming out funny. I end up exhausted by the end of the day. I try and maintain this for work.

I'd say I'm known as the weird snobby girl working in the IT dept that doesn't care to socialise with anyone.

if there's one thing I learned throughout my life, it's that nothing is impossible.

I graduated from high school a few weeks ago, and a few of my friends didn't graduate though they were seniors as well. they don't have mental illnesses, and believe me, I've seen a ton. In my case, moving around the country anywhere from 2-4 year increments has helped me.

In my experience, being yourself is the way to go. No one can tell you who YOU are, only YOU can do that.

Me being a gemini has also helped, with the whole dual-persona thing. Using this, I was able to be two different people, while still being me. If you are a gemini, try splitting yourself into two. it won't be easy, trust me on that, but holding one back while the other works: quite simple. First, you have to notice what you're doing, then put them all into one of two categories. For me, one was school, the other was home. Thing is, When I'm not at either,and I don't know which to follow, I look deep inside my psyche. Recently, I look to the sky for answers. It works quite often, but only if I can focus on the sky and one question. With both of those tools, I have been able to make it this far, w/o suicidal thoughts, but thats not everything that I used. Deep inside, I found out that there is nothing more powerful than a true bond. In other words, (I suppose you wouldn't be surprised if I elaborate) True Friendship and Unconditional Love, are the best things to use. I wouldn't have made it this far w/o any outside help.

Whatever happens, be yourself. If you get teased, so what? Called names, Who cares? You shouldn't! As long as you are yourself, nothing anyone else says about you matters.

Me? I intentionally made others make fun of me. Doing that allowed me to figure out what I was doing wrong, so I could adjust after I moved again. Somewhere along the way, I realized that no one, and nothing could say I am something I'm not. That thought had always been on my mind, and I have passed it on to a few others over the internet, and one or two in person.

Being open-minded to the possibilties also helped, as well, though not always good, and not always bad either.

These strategies helped me, and I'm not sure if it will help you, but its worth a shot, if you ask me.

I just noticed that I can't seem to sit still. Yesterday I was at an interview and I kept playing with something on the bottom of the chair. A couple days ago as well, I was sitting in a chair talking my girlfriend and her mom, and I noticed I was spinning back and forth (it was an office chair) and it almost helped me concentrate or something...lol

I'm great with first impressions. I can meet someone and hang out with them and have a good long conversation.
Then later on I dunno what to do because I've run out of the usual things I say. Then I go quiet around them.
But they never suspect I'm an aspie, they just see me as shy. Which I'm glad about.

On a good day, I'm eccentric. On a bad day, I'm "that weird guy standing in the corner, trying to avoid everyone."

I can't say how other people see me, but in situations that I am familiar with, making a purchase at a store, casual, brief interactions with people, I think I pass for normal relatively well. This is because I've learned a few standard responses that work well enough for most situations. But if I have to deal with anything beyond the most basic interactions, I start doing things like jumbling my words and stammering. Or if a sales person pushes me to sign up for some "benefits" card at a store, my paranoia kicks in and I get really weird.

Mostly I pass for normal by limiting my interactions. With friends and people at work, I suppose I'm considered the "arty" eccentric one. One of my bosses does not get me at all, but she has accepted that I am friendly enough and I get the job done so that is good enough for her. Mostly with friends, I've learned to keep my mouth shut and let them talk most of the time. I often feel like my thoughts and feeling are ignored, but at least it keeps them from getting angry with me.

Lars

I want to say that when in a work environment or interviewing, I wouldn't try to hide it necessarily, but I wouldn't try to leave it out in the open either. Just be yourself, but focus on getting the job and why you can be a value to the company or organization that is hiring you.


If you let your interviewers know, they are more likely to not want to hire you and make up some kind of excuse because either they'll think you're crazy because they don't understand, or they may think you are not suitable for the job if you're putting yourself out there in that manner.

Yeah, as a general rule, don't go telling people that you have Asperger's Syndrome. Most people don't want to hear about other people's problems to begin with and a lot of people will just think you're crazy or whatever else. Easier to just keep quiet about it.

Yes this is what I do. I keep my gob shut about it. I'm not one of the loud and proud aspies, because most of the time I don't need to tell people.
I'm more open online though, I don't really care at all who knows about it online.

Yeah, online's an entirely different story.

I did that for years. Not anymore.

Did what? Told everyone about it, or covered it up?

I've covered it up, for years, silly.

Lie your ass off to conceal embarrassment.

I know its's stupid and most people can sense you're "different" anyway, but giving the socially expected answers to questions that I've learned over the years has made me appear the complete opposite of what I am.

Regrettably, I did this at my first doctors consultation when I was hoping to be diagnosed. I didnn't like the Dr and because I could feel he was looking for a "weirdo" I instictively made casual eye contact, made sure to show emotional responses, lied about my work and romantic experiences ("yes I say good morning to people at work, yes I've had lots of relationships"). Of course, he didn't refer me to be diagnosed.

Stopped pretending as much, but I fear I may lose some friends along the way. Still force myself to listen more and give the impression I'm considerate of others feelings (well by doing this I sort of am being considerate).

This is what I do too. What helps is not questioning it as much and just spouting out the expected answers. Although I dont genuinely enjoy it (and I know plenty of NTs who don't either!) it allows me to create a more favourable response with everyone I meet. The how are yous, etc. are just like reading off a script.

However, this falls short with some other people on the spectrum I know in that they are literally giving the expected answers but fail to provide body language and tone of voice that demonstrates them being sincere. And even if you arent sincere, you have to act like it or people will regard you as aloof or unfriendly.

My advice? Focus on proper body language and the way you are saying things before you learn what to say. Once I got comfortable with these, then I moved onto knowing what to say.

Knowing what to say is partially script and partially something that has been coined in psychology as '"active listening.''

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_listening

You may not find what the other person is talking about interesting, but acting like you do can go a long way. Rephrasing what the person said, acknowledging their situations and asking questions seem to be things that really draw them in. The fact that I have taught myself how to do this is often why people question I am on the spectrum...but it is truly a skill which requires practice, like playing the piano and I am by no means perfect at it.