Do you get along with NT people?

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Trust me, I know how much easier this is said than done but you need to ensure that when you are with them you remain positive and upbeat. Basically attempt to at least appear confident. Don't give them reason to pity you.

If you don't appear aloof, there is less reason for them to be uncomfortable in your company, which will lead to more participation and inclusion for you.

Thank you for telling me that. I didn't know, since I'm a real jerk in all relationship-based stuff. I know they do hang out together without me sometimes, and it doesn't bother me much. I know they get along as best friends or even not. I don't feel rejected by their companionship. I do feel rejected when they invite everyone except me. I don't know if it happens a lot. I just know it does happen.

I think you may need to work on your self confidence. Calling yourself subhuman because you think some girls don't like you sounds to me like you are basing your selfworth on their opinion.

Basing your selfworth on other peoples opinions is not a good idea because it leads to you feeling bad if they indicate a negitive opinion about you. Be aware that an opinion is just that, an individuals perception. Work on feeling good about yourself and not caring too much about those who either on purpose or by accident hurt you.

For what it's worth, my opinion is that when a person is happy with themselves they will lightly find people who will genuinely want to share in that happiness.

I told you it's because they don't like you. You are looking for other answers, while deep down inside you know the real one. I'm just trying to help that's all

Friends are funny creatures. One should expect decency from Christian friends, especially. Of course, we Christians aren't perfect people.

When I was younger, it always upset me that no one really wanted to hang out with me. I eventually came to the conclusion that it really wasn't all that important to me to be "accepted" by any one group of friends or another. I'm very much a "homebody" type. I like to write music and program synthesizers. I can stay in my room all day in front of a keyboard and a computer and not really care at all about the outside world.

I've had a few problems with "friends" (and I use that term loosely) at church. So I'm always on guard about who I'm with and when. So I have a very tight circle--fellow church musicians, my bandmates, and my piano students. Outside my family, that's about it. The great thing about the select few friends that I do have is they are very encouraging. I find that certain of those tend to stick pretty close because they're genuinely interested in what I'm doing.

I think sometimes the best way to attract a group of friends (rather than gravitating towards a group you think is cool) is to be more concerned with your own "schtick." What is so special about YOU? Just be YOU and very often your friends will come to you.

Some of my favorite movies are the "Rocky" series. The thing I find really cool about each of those movies is every time Rocky is about to get into another fight, the FIRST thing he does is put his team together. These are people who not only encourage him but who have problems of their own and even seek his advice sometimes. They are all people who are interested in each other and eventually unite for the common goal of Rocky winning the fight. That circle of friends isn't limited just to his trainers. Not only are they engaged in his preparation, they also share in his success. To me, that's what a friend-group is all about.

The problem with getting along with NT people is we are often stuck on one thing or another, while NTs seem to just randomly go on from one topic or activity to another. I find that unnerving. I used to try to be a crowd follower, and I began to notice that every time I opened my mouth people started walking away. So I figured this: If people really aren't that interested in what others have to say, whether aspies or NTs, why should I waste my time sticking around and hanging on someone's every word? My withdrawing from society somewhat, I made myself (unintentionally) somewhat mysterious. Now people wonder "hey, what's THIS guy up to?"

Which reminds me: I don't know if you ever saw the "Temple Grandin" movie, but there's one scene where she learns that if she stands still, the cows will eventually come up to her. It's funny to think about, but apparently cows and NTs have a lot in common.

LOL

My problem is I say everything I want to. I often offend people without knowing it. I also tend to have ackward postions and gestures and I can't look at people in the eyes. I also have a hard time understanding what people are talking about. When they ask me a question, I answer by an off-topic line.

It sometimes tooks days or weeks before people notice I'm different. They say I'm weird or strange or bizarre or odd in some way. I feel like they treat me as a subhuman creature, always rejected by others. However, I really improved myself from September to today.

I had a job last summer that went quite wrong. At the end of the summer, they told me I had 7 or 8 bad behaviors that I have to work on. They were really hard on time, saying I would never be able to work with collegues and clients. One collegue told an other I had no friend at all (which is untrue) and that I never had a romance (still untrue). Everyone seemed to agree on that. It's hard to feel loved when everyone seems to think you're not lovable. I can't imagine why they hated me so much.

I suggest rereading AngelRho's post Greenmouse, there's good information there.

One question though, why are you letting other peoples opinion make you feel bad?

People sometimes act certian way or say certian things because they get a kick out of seeing the reaction. It is hurtful when people choose to do that to you. It hurt me when people decided to do that to me. Sometimes people even do this kind of thing to bond with each other (but not with the victim).

Best advice is to focus on boosting your confidence. You're probably a nice person and nice people sometimes are the subject of bullying.

The problem is it is about everyone who doesn't like me: sometimes they neglect me, sometimes they reject me. Never they like me. When people tend to know me better, they bully me. It was on school, on day camp, later at work. Now it is at church. I don't trust them even if they say they changed the way they feel about me. I don't want to call them liars, it's just the way I feel­.

For the record I am not a nice person. If I was, everyone wouldn't reject me the way they do.

I am a very nice person but I have been subject to similar experience. You're looking for reasons for them to be nasty and seem to have settled on yourself as a cause.

Some people are just mean. It hurts when they are but some people just are.

I did think that I was a bad person for a long time due to the way other people treated me, I do understand why you'd feel like a bad person. Though, if you look at yourself properly, think, do you ever treat these people as they have treated you? Have you ever did things where you were sure that you would hurt others?

Bad people want to hurt others or don't care about hurting others. Bad people don't usualy care about being liked much (in my experience). Rejection is not about being nice or not, it's about one group or other feeling that a person doesn't fit in their group.

Also, I find many Christians I've met in real life have very unChristian views and ways of acting. You're more lightly to find nice Wiccans, especially ones who follow and fulfill the Wiccan rede.

Most of my friends are NT. Most of them don't even know that I have Asperger's, but most of them certainly notice how shy and eccentric I am.

I definitely get along with anyone, regardless of the condition the person has, it is only when the person decides to provoke me or deliberately try to annoy me and I may not forgive.

Try to look for a new group of friends. If you still have fun, only use them for when you have fun. From what you've said, I have to agree with some others that they are definitely using you or feel bad to tell you that they are excluding you. I know this feeling all too well. There are people out there, they are just hard to find sometimes.

Some things can grow, but you can tell sometimes soon if it's something that will grow or if it's a clique that you are not a part of.

Hm...it's actually interesting that you posted this thread because I was thinking of my own Sunday school class and today I made a decision that I only want to go so far in spending time with them. It's OK if you have to draw a line in how much interaction you want. I like going to class with them because I feel like the class operates on a level I can enjoy. The instructor creates a good environment and I am comfortable in that venue.

But the lunches afterwards...I've tried on multiple occasions and I decided I am no longer going to guilt myself for avoiding situations that would get me invited to them. I just don't relate to this particular crowd outside of our faith...I don't mean to be rude, but the conversation topics bore the heck out of me. I don't think MY group is faking the willingness to invite me (whereas in your group it DEFINITELY sounds like faking if you're being excluded from invitations on a consistent basis). It's on my end...I either end up faking interest or just sitting there not saying much of anything at all and feeling like a fifth wheel. And I'm not sure that does a service to me OR the others in the class.

My family hasn't liked it when I talked about dodging invitations to the lunches, so I don't tell them that...but it's my boundary and what I am comfortable with.

So my advice to you would be, if you are feeling the need to set a boundary, that's legitimate...don't ignore it. I think it would be best not to say that's what you're doing, but if need be, there's no shame in disengaging from a group that either causes you problems or where you don't feel like you fit for whatever reason. (In my case I think the group likes me OK, but I feel like a fake in the relaxed setting with them. In your case...the deliberate exclusion does not sit well with me, reading it from afar. I would be rather wary.)

One final thing. Please bear in mind that different Christians, and different groups within the faith can be wildly different. I have had bad experiences myself, and good ones. Generalizing, as I found out, is very ineffective (though in theory it OUGHT to be much more so, and in a positive direction, but human nature being what it is... ).

I finally talked to one of the girls at church yesterday. She told me I have been rejected, but it is not the case anymore. She says people now like me. Many girls hugged me and asked me how do I do. They asked me to do something one day. I know they mean it. They told me they love me. They say they don't reject me anymore, they don't hide their hang-out sessions anymore. If they do something without me, it's not behind my back. If everyone is invited, I am too. They now put all their
invitations on Facebook, for everyone to look at.

If things continue with that sort of openness, that would certainly be a good thing.

Were you able to tell anything about her tone or body language by any chance? Were there obvious signs of embarrassment? I think if she really is sorry, she would seem humbled. I know if I feel like I've messed something up, it really knocks the wind out of my sails when I have to go apologize to the other person.

She sounded really sorry. She had a normal tone of voice and body language for someone who regrets things that have been done.