How come some aspies have friends and others can't make any

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If you don't try, you'll never find out. Being an 'aspie' is no excuse, online or not everyone should have one friend or at least an acquaintance to keep from going insane.

I haven't had a friend in 15 years and even then I didn't have a close friend. I don't think that I have ever had a real friend.

I had literally no friends until I was about fourteen-fifteen. After that I still struggled with friends and all through highschool wasn't close to anyone (I was for a short period of time, but ended up being used and having a huge issue with people which left me even more isolated).

I have friends now, though I have a very hard time spending more than a short period of time with them. They all understand how I funciton as I've pretty much DIRECTLY stated how I work and told them that I'm not able to change these things. That said, the one thing have trouble with is getting close to these people. I can be "friends" on some level, but I still have absolutely nobody who I would talk to about personal issues. People offer all the time, but I'm uncomfortle speaking with them about anything of that sort of nature. Along with that, I tend to not speak when I' in a group even if I know and am friends with everyone -- I will get more and more distant until people askme if I'm upset or I just can't take it anymore and leave before I have a get worked up. I've had panic attacks when not able to be alone many times before.

I have a fairly normal social life as far as the number of people I spend time with, but when I'm not in University I rarely am around people -- once every two to three weeks (something that my mother gets VERY upset about). Even then, I often try to make excuses to either cut that time short or not see them at all.

When I am at College, I will go "missing" from my friends for day on end. I will not be able to be reached by any means (phone, coming over and banging on my door, internet) and they've slowly come to understand that's just how it is...or at least I hope they have.

Right now I have a handful of friends, but I can only say that 3-4 of them are close to me and out of all of them, I don't share personal problems with any of them.

Honestly, I am really tired of hearing these same old comments. Things like 'you need to try' or 'join a group with peope who have the same interest,' or 'put yourself out there'. Its the same old cliche responses. I am 41 years old. I've been there and done that for years on end. Perhaps decades on end. To the point of nauseum. It doesn't work for everyone. People will literally chew their own arm off to get away from me.

I agree autism is not a excuse. Its the reason, plain and simple.

I'm lucky as I've always had people I call a friend, but I don't see them half as often as I should. And I'm sometimes absent and just don't want to speak on MSN for a few days. I love them dearly though.
I think I would go round the bend if I didn't have friends.

For some reason all but one of the aspies I know in real life (and I know many) have had or have good friends, even the severe ones. Strangely enough the one that has only had acquaintances is actually one of the milder ones or atleast she comes across that way.

This really depends upon a number of factors such as severity on the spectrum, special interests, geography, and your childhood experiences.

I am an extroverted Aspie that for some reason seems to know "everybody". I have my foot in the door of many things. The only problem that I run into is that, even though I have tons of acquaintances, I have problems with making close friends.

My AS is not as severe as most people. I know that it was a debate as to whether I had autism when I was diagnosed. I have special interests of politics and the flood that hit the city I live in a couple of years ago. The later is a subject that a lot of people take an interest in, in my community, so it can be a means to be active and involved. I live in a community with a lot of engineers, and that is somewhat tolerant to people with differences, so people with AS may fit in more here, I don't know. I have also sought out those organizations which are tolerant such as the local Unitarian Church. I also had parents that were somewhat social and involved in the community, and I was pushed in school to get involved in an extra ciricular activity or two. I got to know my fellow classmates in more intimate surroundings.

While this may not work for everyone, it is a synopsis as to why I am more social than the norm.

Since there's no biological symptoms for AS ,and since there's no biological test to prove AS in some person, then AS's existence as a real disorder or a real syndrome isn't proven. AS only have behavioral symptoms that can be seen in personality disorders , it doesn't even a single biological symptom.

AS' very existence is all speculations...

Just try to compare Asperger's syndrome to William's syndrome. Both have unknown causes, but William's syndrome can be 100% proved in person X due to its obvious biological symptoms, all individuals with William's syndrome have very atypical physical features and a missed of a specific arm of chromosome 7 , ALL of them . WS cannot go unnoticed , it cannot be misdiagnosed nowadays


While AS is still more like nationality , it can't be tested , but if one says they have it, then they have it.

I believe that AS is just a social construct....

From wiki:

Social construct




My point is , it's not weird to see 'Aspies' with a lot of friends because they have no biological or maybe even a neurological burden that preventing them to have this , but have you ever seen people with William's symdrome or down's syndrome or even with classic LFA having a very normal social life?? No....Weird eh?

Your case is called : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_p ... y_disorder

This is your problem.

Yeah, the aspers and autism thing is obviously fishy. Whatever happened to just being "different"? The truth behind the matter, that no one wants to acknowledge, is that there are very intelligent beings who are above humans, incarnating into human bodies at this point in time to help protect the earth and evolve the species. The regular NT's or humans who have been reincarnating on earth are too dumb to help save the planet from the dipshits at the top.

The medical community and government will try to suppress kids with "aspers" and "autism", to keep them from realizing just how powerful they are.

Your cultist theory is sh***y and has no scientific basis , Scientology is not what I was referring to . The so-called 'Aspies' are not a more evolved species of humans and neither are some form of superior beings incarnated in human forms.

The fact that 'AS' harms the mating chances is a big blow to the theory that says that AS is evolution.

If you don't believe that AS exists why are you even here? To enlighten the rest of us deluded souls who have all been suffering from the same symptoms and have therefore been diagnosed with a specific neurological difference? We must all be paranoid....

No, I am here because I just love this forum. I am not here to preach anything nor trying to convince someone of something. I am just stating my opinion and exerting my freedom of speech , you are free to say yours and to believe in whatever you want.

Besides, I have the same problems that most people have here (social skills, social ineptitude, having zero friends, having zero love experience , having zero sex experience , being bullied during childhood, being terrible in teams sports , weird quirks , obsessive interests , ritual habits, weird hand movements and habits like 'typing on air' while thinking , walking in circle while thinking , thinking about a whole fictive world with imaginative characters where I am the main protagonist, low self-esteem .....etc etc etc etc.).
So see why I am here, the only difference between me and you that I just have a different opinion about the AS label and my opinion will stand till some real scientific study proves the biological existence of AS or at least ...some real organic medical test to prove its existence in a person.

I know whats true because I have been shown certain things. I don't really need your science. You are one of those little kids that seem to think that they have figured out everything because you got an A in chemistry class. Go waste your life measuring everything bill nye.

NO no no no you got it all wrong.


I am one of those little kids who have figured out everything because:



I was C in Chemistry , B in math and physics ....and A in biology and economics.


Now begone Asper-cultist

Eagleton's remark was so thoughtless. If you didn't have a brain, could you read? Well, you wouldn't be alive. What if you did have a brain, but the chunks that processed language were missing. You couldn't speak or comprehend written literature. How would you like it if people accused you of not trying to communicate, when it's literally impossible? There you go.

These series of comments remind me of my Aspie best friend. I have tried for years to get him involved with groups that I feel would fall in his interest areas. For example, one of my friend's special interests is world politics. I have tried for years to get him involved in a UN group in town that deals with world politics. I have tried other avenues for him to get involved with aspects of his interests, but I have had little or no luck. The only thing he takes an interest in socializing is through dating sites on the internet to meet a female companion. He will drive a few hundred miles to a strange big city to meet a girl that he does even know, but I can't seem to get him involved in groups in his own community. This behavior scares me personally, and I have tried to explain to him my qualms, but to little avail. I also understand that he has anxiety and depression along with his AS. Even as a person with AS, it is hard for me to understand his point of view.