Page 2 of 6 [ 88 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

jojobean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,341
Location: In Georgia sipping a virgin pina' colada while the rest of the world is drunk

26 Jul 2010, 9:39 pm

when I tell people...that I have high functioning autism, most people I interact with are amazed at how well I function. Meaning that I am not banging my head on the floor wearing diapers. Most people dont know that autism is a spectrum disorder that goes from severely impaired to freakin' genius with some difficulties.
One time I was helping my mom with her SSDI lawyer, she mentioned that I have high functioning autism. He looked at me like I just stepped off a spaceship and said, "ya..VERY high functioning.

I also had a therapist that did not believe that I have autism...untill I told her that I had to be taught english as a second language as a kid because I could not congregate verbs correctly and there was a 50 point differnce between by verbal IQ and my nonverbal IQ scores.

It kinda sucks to work so hard in therapy to be more functional...and now ppl are less inclined to believe me.

But when I tell other people...I often just throw it out there in the middle of conversation as if it were no big deal.

You are better off saying you have high fuctioning autism than asperger's...it tends to not weird them out as much.
But as far as ppl not believing that aspergers is a valid dx...you can tell them that for a very long time doctors and others thought fibromialgia (a chronic pain disease) was just in ppl head, untill recently it was discovered that it is caused by a virus.

I personally think that folks like autism speaks started the rumor mill about aspergers not being a valid dx because we are so vocal about what they do.

anyway,
take care and it is up to you how much you wish to disclose

Jojo


_________________
All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up.
-James Baldwin


hans66
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2010
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 315

27 Jul 2010, 3:07 am

I don't tell them. I don't need to "diagnose" other people as well. Some have excentric behavior, but as long as I can interact with them pretty well and be social with them, I don't really mind whether they have a behavior disorder, such as Asperger's Syndrome, PDD/NOS, or a non-autistic disorder such as ADHD or schizophrenia. Everyone has behavior traits that I like or dislike.

Some people might be wondering what pecularities I have, but most of them just accept me as I am, not knowing about my autism.



Sivri
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jul 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 146
Location: Denmark

27 Jul 2010, 10:22 am

Usually I am quite clear with telling people about my aspergers, because in many ways my quirkinesses and such shows after a few hours of spending time with me. I have people divided into two groups: Officials that have to know, such as school/job or courses, and then the people I think of as potential friends.
I don't consider a person a friend before they know and accept that I have aspergers, as I have seen a lot of people dump me when I told them. It was hard the first times it happened but now i've understood that if they can't tolerate it, then they are not worth my time.
When I do tell a friend, I try to use a situation where I tell about some of my quirks, and then I include that they actually have a reason, wich is aspergers. If they don't know what it is, I usually pinpoint out that its related to autism, and what it generally does to me. Usually I get positive responses and, sometimes its also an invitation for them to share a more personal detail about themselves, wich makes the friendship a bit stronger ^^
Its never easy for me to tell it, but I find that its better to do it in the start than "dropping a bomb" say after half a year :)



Alycat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,690
Location: Birmingham, UK

27 Jul 2010, 11:03 am

Thanks for all the replies people!
I've decided to set a policy of telling people about the AS when I feel that the aquaintance is developing in to a friendship. I want to know that my friends like me for who I am, and I also want them to be aware of the things about me that are different to 'normal' people, so that I don't end up with people thinking I'm being rude or something with them.
The people I told SEEM to be taking it well, although I will have to wait and see if they still treat me the same or if they distance themselves.


_________________
If you don't believe in dragons it is curiously true, that the dragons you disparage choose to not believe in you.


thepatriot5000
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 12

27 Jul 2010, 12:33 pm

I tell people because they always ask why I am so different socially and that they just don't understand, but most people, as mentioned before, don't understand Asperger's, much less even heard about it. Sometimes it even backfires so that people just ignore me still because they think that I'm mentally retarted or something. But what I don't understand about NT's is their tendency to only accept people like them. Are they that close-minded? Oh well, there's a lot of things I don't understand about NT kids, but that's a story for later...



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,638
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

27 Jul 2010, 6:16 pm

Instead of telling people about my autism/AS. I tell em I'm dyslexic & have bad vision. I've had the dyslexia label sense I like started school & there's a lot of awareness about it so people are probably going to be more sympathetic & understanding of that. I tell others about my bad vision/nearsightedness because it's a psychical disability that limits me. I cant really hide that stuff & people will notice after a bit. I don't tell strangers much unless it's a job interview or something but most people who know me will know about that stuff. I do NOT try to hide my AS or anything & I try to be myself but I don't really advertise that I have it offline because I don't think that I need to explain or tell everyone everything about myself. If someone asked me; I''ll gladly tell em & explain but I rather people know me as the whole person I am than know a label


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


Cyanide
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,003
Location: The Pacific Northwest

28 Jul 2010, 12:43 am

I don't tell anyone these days. My gf doesn't even know.



Darklinggirl
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 44

31 Jul 2010, 9:07 am

Hi I'm Leisa and I have Aspergers syndrome. Yup I tell people. Yup. Some are ok, and some are weirded out. Some are ignorant. Having this strange short circuiting gift is a beauty you have to live, with all the joy and pain it brings. My difficulty with others isnt telling them about myself, but getting them to understand that this is the reason for my soc
al ineptitude and my isolation.



FreeSpirit2000
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 7 Aug 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 283
Location: Somewhere

31 Jul 2010, 6:48 pm

None of my friends really know I have it, I usually keep my mouth shut about it. The only people who know about it is counselors and my family. If I talk about my d-word randomly out of nowhere, I feel like I will embarass myself. Nobody can tell that I am AS. I dress normally, I drive, I get along quite well with my peers, I have ok grades in college which I am trying to pull up to top notch grades (long story why I messed up 4 semesters @ CC, it was because I struggled with depression in HS, being ill prepared for college because of poor HS education background and lots of things). These factors are the reason why I may have to take some time to finish college, but I won't give up. But anyways, that is not my point. If I were you, I wouldn't go talking about your disability too much and be super open about it. I know a guy who did that and he really put himself on the spot big time. So if I were you, I would talk about these issues to the right people and not the wrong people. That is all I can say.



Eldanesh
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 28 May 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 292
Location: Canada

31 Jul 2010, 8:42 pm

I don't



richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Xfractor Card #351

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind

31 Jul 2010, 8:49 pm

ret*d looking white guy that wears glasses with elf ears



n4mwd
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jun 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 871
Location: Palm Beach, FL

31 Jul 2010, 9:28 pm

Its best not to mention it at all. You may trust them now, but it they go bad, they CAN use that knowledge against you. I had a teacher in college that I trusted and she then used it against me and nearly got me expelled. Actually, she did, but a higher up administrator said "Hey, wait a minute" and reversed the expulsion.

But if you insist, you need to fist ask them if they have ever heard of AS and what it is. Ask them if they know anyone with it. A lot of people only know what they have seen on TV. The Jerry guy on Boston Legal for example. Try to gently correct their misconceptions and then lay it on them. I would also ask for their confidence although that doesn't mean they will honor it.



pineapple
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 573
Location: california

31 Jul 2010, 9:35 pm

It's kind of funny to me how people explain their Asperger's as being like "high functioning autism" because that's easier to explain...but I tend to explain my NLD as being "similar to Asperger's". That said, I think I've only given an explanation to 2-3 people outside my family.



smudge
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Sep 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,716
Location: Moved on

01 Aug 2010, 3:06 am

n4mwd wrote:
Its best not to mention it at all. You may trust them now, but it they go bad, they CAN use that knowledge against you. I had a teacher in college that I trusted and she then used it against me and nearly got me expelled. Actually, she did, but a higher up administrator said "Hey, wait a minute" and reversed the expulsion.


How did she try to use it against you?

n4mwd wrote:
But if you insist, you need to fist ask them if they have ever heard of AS and what it is. Ask them if they know anyone with it. A lot of people only know what they have seen on TV. The Jerry guy on Boston Legal for example. Try to gently correct their misconceptions and then lay it on them. I would also ask for their confidence although that doesn't mean they will honor it.


I'd never thought of that...as in before you ruin anything, get out of people what they think of AS by describing someone they know with it in a subtle way. That's brilliant, cheers! :D

I don't like telling people about my AS, really. The thing is, I really hate opening up to people. I really don't know how to word myself, and I just prefer to ask people about themselves. People love that anyway. The worst question is when someone asks a question that isn't meant to be deep, such as "How does AS affect you?". It's so hard to come up with answers that aren't very deep. It's a general question applied to most subjects except AS. Like asking someone, "So, how does being a social freak affect you?"



n4mwd
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jun 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 871
Location: Palm Beach, FL

01 Aug 2010, 7:54 am

smudge wrote:
How did she try to use it against you?


She was knowledgeable about AS and did what was necessary to trigger a meltdown. If she didn't know I had AS, she would have never known how to do that.

Quote:
I'd never thought of that...as in before you ruin anything, get out of people what they think of AS by describing someone they know with it in a subtle way. That's brilliant, cheers! :D

I don't like telling people about my AS, really. The thing is, I really hate opening up to people. I really don't know how to word myself, and I just prefer to ask people about themselves. People love that anyway. The worst question is when someone asks a question that isn't meant to be deep, such as "How does AS affect you?". It's so hard to come up with answers that aren't very deep. It's a general question applied to most subjects except AS. Like asking someone, "So, how does being a social freak affect you?"


But if you are talking to REAL friends, as opposed to coworkers or acquaintances, they already know what you are like. Having a label for it isn't going to help your situation that much. Even still, it explains but not excuses our quirks. BTW, my rule is to NEVER trust a coworker with sensitive personal information like that. Coworkers have a tendency to turn on you when its to their advantage. Bosses are sometimes the exception, but I am very picky about telling them too.



smudge
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Sep 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,716
Location: Moved on

01 Aug 2010, 8:49 am

n4mwd wrote:
She was knowledgeable about AS and did what was necessary to trigger a meltdown. If she didn't know I had AS, she would have never known how to do that.


I had that kind of thing happen to me. The worst part of it at school was that as a child you were automatically the one in the wrong, and an adult could get away with picking on you because of it. I remember actually my headteacher threatening me to tell my mum and I replied to him in my naive aspie way "Oh it's OK, I'll tell her".

n4mwd wrote:
But if you are talking to REAL friends, as opposed to coworkers or acquaintances, they already know what you are like. Having a label for it isn't going to help your situation that much. Even still, it explains but not excuses our quirks. BTW, my rule is to NEVER trust a coworker with sensitive personal information like that. Coworkers have a tendency to turn on you when its to their advantage. Bosses are sometimes the exception, but I am very picky about telling them too.


Yes, I have to remember that. 8O