How do you deal with feeling painfully alone?

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I usually try to occupy myself with a video game/book. Also, being in a club of sorts is helpful, for example, my D&D group.

I've simply learned to do without. Like anything, after a while I get use to something. I work 40 hours a week to try to spend my time somewhere, doing something.

I am going through an intensely lonely place in my life at the moment, im 31, single and just getting closeto God, I have only my bible, christian music, despite all my issues, social anxiety, depression, mild adhd, possibly on austistic spectrum, not yet dx thou, this is a tough phase in my life, but despite the pain, im plodding on, i think the worse situations are the ones where you want to share things with, I have a birthday coming up on sept 25 yet I have no friends to celebrate it with, it's because im embarrassed about asking this of anyone, always think they wont like to come anyway, i hate the fact i want to travel and go on theatre trips, but all in all God has a plan for my life and he is a good god, even with all the trials, I know some good will come out of this.

H x

It's hard to cope with loneliness especially when it happens to you all the time. And I'm on the same boat as you.

My way of coping is surf the net looking at stuff. Draw pictures, watch online videos, listen to music I like or looking for music with meaningful lyrics.
Praying to God helps me too.

Dear person,

I have a fiance and a son who love me, or so they tell me, and I know I love them, but I still have days where I feel painfully alone.

Forgive me if I am wrong, but I think you speak more of loneliness, than of being alone. Do you wish for me people in your life or do you wish for connectedness?

Attaining connectedness is infinitely harder(although not impossible) than attaining people. You could have a room full of people and feel completely disconnected, and that is the conundrum I so often face.

When I am without people, I do not feel loneliness, but I do understand that I am alone. I do not struggle with being alone, but I do struggle with intimacy. To replace human intimacy, but to feel SOME intimacy at all, I channel my "love" feelings to objects. Objects have no conditions or feelings and will provide joy constantly. They are a good thing to have until you meet the right people that you can feel some measure of intimacy with.

Hope that helps, and I do understand your pain.

Mics

Exercise for me too. I used to run long distances, now I walk.

Have you tried volunteering? Library, ambulance corps (do you know CPR?), fire house, hospitals like volunteers too and old age homes. I knew someone who volunteered at her local police station one night a week. I thought that sounded exciting but I never heard of anyone doing it where I live. Volunteer for local officials running for election. People volunteer to clean up parks, and clear trails, or plant flowers, where I live.

You get to meet all the other volunteers. Think of it as a free chance to meet people. Often a diverse group shows up. Take your time, don't rush into chat, just remember to smile if someone comes up to you. They will think you are shy. It's okay. Museums need volunteers too.

Make a list and try everything in your area, one at a time. Hopefully you'll find a group you fit with.

I cry. A lot. I'll post something on WP or some other site hoping to get support from my friends since my family doesn't care about my problems. D:

I feel your pain, Erisad

I usually ignore it until it peaks.
Then I cry alone in my room until I either run out of tears and feel the loneliness pass, or I fall asleep.
Sometimes, watching a happy movie will help. Or baking cookies.

On a technical level there are a few things I've learned about socialization through rote memorization over the years:

-When people respond to what I'm saying with nods and "oh," "uh huh" and "really?" it means they are losing interest in what I have to say. It is best to dig for something they are interested in talking about.

-People enjoy warmth and one or two genuine compliments. They enjoy compliments that are truly meant and they can tell the difference between fake and real ones. They also don't like to be overloaded with compliments.

-People are concerned if my facial expressions do not change. Sometimes I deliberately change my facial expression in an attempt to communicate.

-People like humor. I have used some of the weirder aspects of my personality to my advantage, and have finally found a way to express my sense of humor without being ridiculous or offensive. It is a delicate balance but my humor has become one of my strengths in social interaction.

meet people on the internet

go to a club or even a fetish party for other singles and be open minded to try new things and always wear a condom

I go through periods of feeling like I want nothing to do with other people then periods where all I want is to have friends around me. Right now I'm in the latter and it really sucks. Nothing is really making me happy so I'm trying to throw myself into work. I just feel tired all the time and lonely and like no one really cares about me. People suck because I want to be friends with them but I am afraid of them not understanding me,

I volunteer at an animal shelter.

I just got an iPad, and I mean seriously, who needs a girlfriend when you have an iPad?