I hate arguments!

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It's okay

I don't like arguments, either. Don't find them enjoyable and don't see the point. Arguments never convince the other person; they just entrench the person further in their own views, and you in yours. See every internet debate ever for examples of this.

Conflict is sometimes necessary. Maybe even fun. It helps to shoot off some steam sometimes.

Or embarrasse the person by posting facts to make them look stupid. I did that with a troll in 2009 on another site because he was picking on me trying to make me look bad and slander me so I posted stuff to make him look stupid. Then the next day the person was gone and all his posts. I don't know if he got banned or he left.

I have a friend who claims to be 100% emotionally self-sufficient, and she acts that if someone is like that (i.e. never needing emotional support whatsoever), there will never be arguments or meltdowns, and everything will be peaceful all the time. Nobody is like that, yet she thinks that if someone is not like that, they are emotionally unstable, and potentially controlling or abusive. In other words, she expects people to give themselves emotional support, and never have to receive it from others, and she refuses to give it.

This same friend thinks that asking for advice, accepting help from friends or family, or making a decision based on feedback and advice from others constitutes lack of direction, weakness, and an inability to communicate.

I used to argue/debate all the time, but I like to think I've mellowed with time. Honestly though, the most common complaint I still get from close family and friends is "you always have to be right". I don't feel like I "always have to be right", but I want to make sure I'm understood. As for the difference between the two, I think that it's in one's perspective. I always thought of my discussions as debating, but most people around me thought/think of me as argumentative. Unfortunately, I've lost friendships or prevented them because of it. Fortunately, the friends who stick around accept that part of who I am.

I have been accused of that too and my mother said it to me last week and I didn't speak to her for four days. But there was more to that story of course. It was something else she said that made me upset I was mad for four days and if it weren't for my cousin, me being mad at her may have lasted longer.

I also want to be understood and I want people to have the information they need to know so they understand and not be so ignorant and as judgmental so I feed them things they don't know about.

I have also noticed that asking questions is seen as arguing by people or when you correct them because they had something wrong about you or the situation.

I don't always have to be right because I have my opinions and if there is a piece of information I am missing, I would like to be told it. It always pisses me off when people accuse me of being judgmental or jumping to conclusions. If there is something they left out of their story, tell me the detail you forgot to add darn it. How am I supposed to know you failed to add that little detail?

I swear people act like they want everyone to be psychic and automatically know these little details on their own without being told. But sadly when you keep feeding someone details about a situation, they think you are arguing with them or they tell you they may not agree and you have to accept it. Same as when you try different ways to explain something so the person understand, they still think you want them to agree and you are arguing with them and it's about having to be right.

But you know what, I find people who refuse to listen and understand are idiots and it's not worth to argue with them because I be talking to a brick wall so why waste my time of energy defending myself against those idiots? I have other things to do that wasting my time in PM using up my free time defending myself with someone or using my three hours of my time on a forum arguing with five different people who are not getting it. Just let them judge and have them think whatever you want. They don't know you.
In real life, it's better than wasting your time of energy caring about what a few people think.

Like someone here once said, you can't educate an idiot. Of course it doesn't hurt to try and explain to them but once you see they still have the same thinking ignoring what you have told them, move on and don't even bother. It's a waste of time to argue with them using up your free time. We just need to know where to draw the line.

I didn't talk to my mother for a whole year because we couldn't communicate very well at all without both of us ending up hurt and upset. Afterward though it was like a giant reset button had been pushed and our relationship and communication is good now. I don't recommend going to that extreme, mind you.



I know, I hate that. I want to be told more information when I don't understand someone else's point of view and I can't for the life of me figure out why someone wouldn't want that out of a conversation, I mean, otherwise it's just meaningless chitchat, right? Why talk to each other at all if it's not going to be productive in some way? In addition, I've found that when people take the time to really try to communicate their ideas and listen to each other's perspectives, it almost invariably turns out that they had the same or similar ideas going into the discussion anyway, which I think is the pinnacle of an argument/debate... when you find out you really agreed with each other all along! I mean, how cool is that?



I have to disagree here and say that I think it's the easy way out to call people idiots, although believe me, I have definitely felt that way in the heat of an argument. I think the main reason that people don't want to engage is fear. I think people are just afraid of being called stupid, or worse yet, being proved stupid (I certainly am). Honestly, I think that's the main reason why people refuse to discuss/debate things at length... either that or it's just sheer laziness. People don't want to educate themselves enough to effectively engage in debate/discussion about something that feel passionately about. It confounds me how people can feel passionately about something and not know or at least want to know everything there is to know about it anyway... but that's definitely an AS way of thinking. Then again, maybe they just don't feel as passionately about it as I do.

But you're right... fear is not easily surmountable when it belongs to us and it's virtually impossible to overcome someone else's fear, so it's not worth the time and effort.

I hate arguing. I cannot stand it. Why can't people accept each other? So what if you like one band and I don't? There is no "right answer", it is a band! Disagreeing with you does not make me "stupid", it makes me like different things. So what?

In some cases, one of us is wrong. Ignoring everything I say and changing my words around does not make me wrong, it makes you stupid. If I am actually wrong, prove it. Otherwise shut the hell up.

Refusing to listen to other people and assuming you are always 100% (like d9 said) makes you an as*hole, nothing more. There are certian kinds of people that should not be ALLOWED to interact with others. You are not "always right," if someone has some new info for you you should look at it then decide if you still think you are right or not.

Causing people to kill themselves just because you don't like the same kind of music they do is the worst thing you can possibly to another human being, not sure whether or not it is worse then rape.

If someone says "please let me talk to you about this while I can still be nice about it" or "No you are wrong I did not say what you think I said," then you should always let them talk about it unless you want the whole world to be full of darkness and twisted horror.

i do not argue if i am not certain i am correct. i rarely am certain that i am correct so i rarely argue.
if i know i am correct then i will assert that i am correct and i will not listen to any alternative ideas.

in my previous post i was talking with regard to programming computers at a company that i program for.

i know what my code achieves and lay people who question my logic are wasting my time.

some people may question why a file is not simultaneously in ascending alphabetic order of category and descending numeric order of volume for example. they are not fit to address.

there are as many as*holes in the world as their are mouths. mouths take in what has to be digested and as*holes give out what has been digested.

Hm... I don't think I'd wanna be friends with someone like that. She sounds irrational and judgmental.

I hate them. They make me nervous, and they make me say my sentences all wrong, and they make me confused, and they make me feel sad because the person doesn't care about me, or is simply wrong.
I wish my parents would let me run off into the other room and come back in 5 perfectly calm, but they never do. Which is stupid. If they would do that, there would be a LOT less unhappiness amongst us.

Like the special olympics gag?

I suppose all an argument comes down to is ego vs ego. Some people just enjoy getting heated up and play devil's advocates to deliberatly provoke. Some people also will deliberatly engage in provocative activity to try and get a rise out of you. I know my step father tries and does that to me, but it doesn't work. With such people you do far more damage by denying them their opportunity to attack you. Well, to be perfectly honest (and without shame) it doesn't help that i'm far more intelligent then he is



So you go trolling two internet messageboards to give yourself a power trip. I know your game spazzer i'm onto you

Are you serious?

Well, online ones are QUITE different than real ones. Real ones freak me out.

Am I missing something here? What trolling?


I knew at least two people online who were trying to argue with me. One of them was trying to argue with me about something that was stupid and pointless and totally irrelevant to the topic so I backed out of the discussion since the kid was being an idiot. He could have been trolling because he didn't like what I said so he decided to give me a hard time about it.

Then there was another person who seemed like starting arguments with me and I was never sure if he read my posts wrong on pupose just to get a rise out of me or if he was really that stupid. I decided he was probably smart and not that dumb and he was just trolling me so I decided I was done with him.

There are people out there who will try and start an arguement with someone which I think is a form of trolling. The first sign is when they say something that is totally irrelevant to the topic or to what you said or they dilberataly take something you say out of context. Sometimes people play dumb just so they can keep on arguing with you.

No i'm not serious im a sarcastic english bastard at your service

Online arguments keep me up all night. At least IRL ones end in a relatively quickly. If i've had a few pints I tend to start correcting people i would normally tolerate talking out of their arse on a given subject. Alcohol activates my "for great justice I must avenge the truth!" mode.