Anyone else afraid of being "found out"?

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Yes. My sister is autistic, and my mom and dad are very open with it.


Still, I am a man, and I can't stand to be seen as vulnerable. I hate autism, and AS. Growing up, I witnessed my sister go through a lot of bad s**t just because she had autism (not abuse, just daily struggles with life) and because of that, I don't think I will ever see autism in a positive light. Sure, I can pretend to around my family, but between these forums and me, I hate it. If someone I knew that I wasn't comfortable around knew I had AS, I'd probably die.

People don't fully understand what autism and AS are. If they did, I wouldn't be so worried about people hearing me having it. But humans are stupid, petty creatures (despite the enormous brains we have by comparison to other animals) What they don't understand, they fear, and what they fear, they want to either leave, die, or alienate. Not everyone is a terrible person like that, but I don't want to play Russian roulette with my social status right now. People see me as smart, attentive, and generally flawless. I like that, and I cherish having that reputation... I don't want to lose it.

Yeah, I am afraid of people finding out I might have AS. I'm paranoid enough about CPS because of my diagnosed Bipolar.

Ya. I never told anyone and don't intend to. I think my parents told some teachers in high school but they kept it quiet. I went to college and did not put anything under the disability section of the forms or any forms for that matter. Nobody in college or work ever knew about me having AASD. They just think I am different and do things "outside of the box".

I kinda wish I was outed - I still haven't told any of my family or my friends about it - not that after months of researching this, I couldn't explain it quite well to them - it's just that the opportunity never comes up and I'm not very fond of making major announcements - I wouldn't like people outside of my family/friends to know though, because people start acting really weird when you say you have AS.

I certainly wouldn't tell anybody.

I had told fewer than five people until this year, and now nearly 20 know. I don't like being labeled, I am the way I am and people can shut up or put up for the most part.

Even though I have a diagnosis, I chose not to disclose it to my employer. People fear what they don't understand, and as long as they see me as just, "odd," they can understand that. Add some condition that most people don't understand into the mix, and they start getting fearful.

My family knows, but that's about it. I just don't want to have to worry about having to explain what it is and what my limitations are because of it. It's easier if people just think I'm weird. Plus, I don't have to hear any "Ass Burger" jokes.

I couldn't care less. I've actually had situations where people have asked me if I have AS, and I just said I did. So what? It's not some big secret, no matter what you think. Anyone who knows about AS will be able to detect it in you. The symptoms show.

Lots of people in my area don't know what Aspergers is or they think it's like mental retardation. I don't talk about AS with people offline but I don't try to hide AS either cuz I cant pretend to be normal. I just focus on being myself if this makes sense. If someone wer to ask me if I had AS; I'd tell em but this has never come up

My Dad doesn't believe there's anything wrong with me that a little will power and exercise wouldn't improve. I'm actually more worried about people finding out I'm on the spectrum than I am their figuring out I'm bipolar. I can't hide the fact I'm bipolar, a lot of people have guessed anyway. If I were to tell them I'm also aspie they'd just get totally confused.

When I first found out I was on the spectrum it was a huge relief though, and I wasn't too embarrassed by the thought people would find out. Then my family's reaction changed my mind. They all, everyone, think I'm making excuses. They don't believe my son is on the spectrum either.

The odd part about not telling anyone is how in the past two or three years, Aspergers has become more and more and more well known, to the point where people casually mention it in conversation. I was at a social event at someone's house and we were talking about how we thought -- we being the opinion of the group, not of the individual -- one of the math professors at my university had Aspergers. It's somewhat of a difficult situation -- what exactly am I supposed to say that doesn't give any immediate clues?

That being said, I ended up telling two close friends. They don't seem to care one way or the other. This is the correct answer.

I don't want any of my friends to know that I might have Asperger's (I've told one friend, but she doesn't really understand; she just thinks I was "born smart"), and I'm definitely not telling my enemies because they'll say I'm weird or r-worded.

I only told those that I'm really close to. Most of them say that I "hide" it well, since I'm good with mimicking NT behavior I guess.

The worst response to telling someone that I had AS was from an ex boyfriend. "So...are you ret*d. OMG I dated a ret*d." My friends laid into him before I could even reply. "You jerk, twit, bastard, etc." So yeah. Not everyone deserves to know.

This is part of my anxiety in meeting new people. They expect certain behavior of all people, and when I can't display them I feel bad. I try to display some of them to keep them feeling like they're interacting with a normal person, but there's always that pit I'm staring down thinking that I might not be able to keep up the appearance. It's very stressful.

I'd prefer people not know that I have the condition because I do think people use labels to judge. But in the case of my work it helped my employer when he found out. He has been more patient with me. It hurts to get treated as mildly ret*d, but in the environment I'm in it helps that someone goes slower and explains things. So I don't know.

Yes. I am a bit worried with the publicity that AS will get to be like ADD.
Right now I don't think a very large percentage of the population are aware of it.
I wonder who does know what it is, and if they think I have it (at work).

I hope that I don't stand out the way some of my colleagues do.
Although I've found most people simply think 'that guy' (an AS co-worker) is 'weird'.
Only one person ever said to me "I think he's an ASpie".

I did not say to the person that I was one.
I'm afraid it could negatively impact my career.

I plan to go carefully with this.

It's really important that you don't allow yourself to become dishonest and/or in denial of your condition around people you do trust and truly care about. Hopefully, they will react well, either way it's better to know where they will stand and how they will feel about your true self now. I am an NT and was in a relationship with an Aspie w/ ADD for almost a year and he never came clean about Aspergers. The whole time, I knew he was lying to me about it, the one time I approached him he brushed it off and wouldn't go there. He really cared about me but was always afraid of what I might think about him and got into a nasty habit of either lying or denying something when he didn't want to talk about it. Or he would downplay it and act like it wasn't a problem when it was. You can't fool the people who really care about you, instead they just lose respect for you as no one wants to be with someone who can't be emotionally honest. I can understand why you wouldn't admit to something right off the bat, but when you find someone special, don't try to hold on to them by being something you aren't. Don't live a lie. I'd much rather have been with someone struggling with a disorder than someone who was lying, I deserved more. I would have been completely ready to be there for him if he'd given me the chance or if he'd shared his experiences and helped me understand instead of underestimating my intelligence and being hurtful. Ultimately, that made the choice for me that the relationship was never going to blossom and I moved on.