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Guitar_Girl
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21 Sep 2010, 2:31 pm

People always ask me to smile too, glad it's not just me.



leeloodallas
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22 Sep 2010, 1:20 am

That's the story of my life. My family, past coworkers, and now my roommates always seem to think something's wrong when I feel great. Like do I need to smile? Is it the law? Will I be arrested or stoned for being complacent in my own way? I usually feel fine until someone goes "what's wrong?" and they won't stop asking if I'm okay until I flip out :roll: ...



phil_d1111
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23 Sep 2010, 4:46 pm

PrincessOOPS wrote:
OK this happens to me a lot, not sure if I have aspergers or not but I wanted to know if this is a typical experience. I'll be having a wonderful day, mood is good I'm ready to take on the world, birds are singing blah blah blah etc... and then someone will stop and ask me "why do you look so serious??"
Is everything OK? SMILE! it can't be THAT bad. And I'm like... huh? WTF are you talking about?
I've been fired from two jobs so far due to "lack of enthusiasm" which I don't really understand since I feel I worked extremely hard, never brought my problems to work, was always very honest etc. Why do people always have to tell me how I'm supposed to look??


yeah - same thing really

though when my parents say it to me i can't help but worry about them worrying about me



Talis
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23 Sep 2010, 11:22 pm

Hmm... I think the closest thing to a smile I can pull off is when I make a short grin like laugh expression that shows my teeth a little (It only usually happens around people I like if they say something I like). I've had family members tell me to smile for a picture and when I do they ask me again 2 or 3 times and then just get frustrated and take the picture. I don't get it, I guess I don't know how to smile.

And the grin laugh thing is embarrassing because if it ever happens people make me embarrassed by telling me things like "Oh I've never seen you smile... you have a nice smile... should do it more often." or any other kind of embarrassing comment that makes me look down and frown instantly.

I don't hate to smile I just can't on command as I don't know how to pull it off. Hey I guess when I get old I won't have smile lines... Neat!



DemonAbyss10
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24 Sep 2010, 12:21 am

If I REALLY feel like faking it..... just look at jack nicholson's character from "The Shining", minus me going all axe crazy on someone... I think...


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Avarice
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24 Sep 2010, 7:36 pm

I get annoyed with this question, I had a girl I knew two years ago come up and ask why I don't smile much. I had no idea what to do, I can't force myself to smile, I only smile when amused. When I'm happy I don't smile so the usual "no smile = sad" doesn't really work with me. I can be extremely happy and look like I'm depressed.



McTell
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24 Sep 2010, 7:45 pm

When people order me to smile, I say to them in an exaggerated monotone "I am smiling... on the inside". Usually that gets them to laugh, because it's such a silly line, so that's something at least.



314159
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29 Sep 2010, 3:50 pm

I'm so, so glad to see this thread.
It's probably the most common comment I get from people who know of me but don't actually know me. All my yearbooks are full of "Cheer up next year!" "You need to smile more!" and I get verbal comments about it as well. I smile only when I legitimately mean it, and there are very few people who earn it. Smiling outside of my most rigid comfort zone (really only my home) feels extremely false and uncomfortable, even if I do find something pleasing or amusing. It's a lie in the form of a mask and it feels like a grimace. I also do not like seeing fake smiles on others. I find that I smile more with my eyes than with my mouth - have other Aspies found this true? When I see NTs smiling with their mouth and their eyes are flat dead or unhappy it just creeps me out. I want nothing to do with that degree of lie, even when I logically understand that the secretary is probably having a bad day (so her eyes aren't smiling) but it's her job to be friendly (so her mouth is). Still creepy. Liars.



Lecks
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29 Sep 2010, 4:12 pm

"Why aren't you smiling?"
"Give me something to smile about."

I'm actually very quick to laugh, and when I'm not laughing I don't see any point in contorting my face to any position that isn't my passive expression.



thehandmedown
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29 Sep 2010, 11:03 pm

I get this a lot. At work from my family or outside in public. I dont feel as if Im smiling or not smiling. The bosses at work always ask me why I dont smile or why I look so serious or why I always have "that" look on my face... What look? I have no idea.
Just a week ago some citizen came into my work place and after answering her questions she said, "you dont smile very much". I dont understand when it is I should smile or not smile



Airyx
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01 Oct 2010, 11:49 am

Yeah. I get that a lot. When my mother picks me up att school she's always like "You look sad. Is something wrong?", when I could in fact have had a great day.
And also, this guy in my french class thought I looked sad all the time so he started singing "Always look on the bright side of life" everytime I passed him in the hallway :P. Some of my friends also ask if I'm bored, why I'm not smiling etc. It's kind of frustrating, I don't know why other people think I look sad/bored. It's just the way I normally look?



Asp-Z
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01 Oct 2010, 12:49 pm

I get that all the time. Shame you lost jobs over it though.



sandyt
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01 Oct 2010, 4:50 pm

I get questions like Are you sad, mad or high (from peers, not family)? It's seems to be worst as a girl. My cousins (the girls) and myself always joke about how we get those kind of questions especially from our family at family functions but I don't ever see them complaining to my grandpa or my uncle/his son. We just find it annoying like most people here. They also try to get us to "lighten up" or take a "chill pill" by trying to get us to drink which I would never do because I think they are the ones with something wrong with them. I swear to god, the next person who tells me to take a chill pill will get one square in the face or stomach depending where I could reach the quickest.



Severus
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01 Oct 2010, 5:18 pm

Well the unwritten rule I break all the time is that people are supposed to smile when greeting each other and during small talk. I don't do small talk and I am usually not happy meeting people so I won't smile just because people think I ought to.
Also, the last thing I want is someone hitting on me and I am rather scared that smiling will make me look willing and/or available to be hit on.



314159
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01 Oct 2010, 6:25 pm

Severus wrote:
Well the unwritten rule I break all the time is that people are supposed to smile when greeting each other and during small talk. I don't do small talk and I am usually not happy meeting people so I won't smile just because people think I ought to.
Also, the last thing I want is someone hitting on me and I am rather scared that smiling will make me look willing and/or available to be hit on.


I agree on that last portion - I'm uncomfortable with advances. I get into rough spots because I can't recognize the difference between someone being friendly, being bored and chatting to whoever is handy, or someone trying to flirt with me. The wedding ring should be adequate - stop trying to flirt with me, weird random guys! Very uncomfortable. The lack of eye contact, lack of smile, and lack of anything commonly understood as reciprocation usually makes them go away - it's the ones that don't go away for that who worry me. I recognize that I can look like an easy target. I'm NOT shy looking to jump the first person who gets through my defenses, I legitimately have no interest in anyone.



Atama
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02 Oct 2010, 6:12 am

I never laugh and I smile only when I find something very funny. Also I never really learn how to smile and my parents never want to teach me. So when they want me to smile, I ask them how and they give up easily...
I also find really strange people who are always smiling.