Fed up as all hell with neurotypical stupidity and ignorance

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Joe90
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11 Nov 2010, 5:17 pm

So that means Aspies are ''normal'' in that respect, because we find it difficult to put ourselves in NTs shoes as much as they find it difficult to put themselves in our shoes.

If I turned round to a NT and had this conversation:-
Me: I don't want to pop to the shop today. There's lots of loud traffic out there and too many people and they will probably stare at me again!
NT: Don't let that worry you, for christ sake!
Me: But I have AS, it's normal for me to worry about things like that.
NT: Oh you're just being stupid! As if there's more in life to worry about than a few loud noises or a few people walking past you! That is the last thing in my mind when I am walking. I just walk into the shop and get what I need and go - I don't worry about anyone else and what they're doing!

Hence, if a NT stormed past me and I asked what was wrong, here this example:
NT: My girlfriend won't reply to my text!
Me: When was the last time she texted you?
NT: About 2 hours ago!
Me: Well so what? Is it normal to worry about that? Can't you go a few hours without having to text?
And the NT would probably say, ''you just don't understand how it feels!''

So I guess we don't understand properly that NTs worry over how much positive social attention they're getting, and we worry about things like what will the next loud noise be? or something like that. I'm not saying all Aspies do, and I'm not saying all NTs worry about social attention. But that was just an example.


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Last edited by Joe90 on 12 Nov 2010, 4:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dear_one
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11 Nov 2010, 5:37 pm

Yesterday, my counselor mentioned that her son in University was struggling with his logic course - it was like doing math. Logic is as easy and subconscious for me as social stuff is for him, and vice versa.



Eldanesh
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12 Nov 2010, 3:21 pm

I'm sure the fact they probably think you're "stupid" too doens't help.

This is probably a "2 way street" situation we have here.



Dear_one
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12 Nov 2010, 3:34 pm

Well, at least now we have tests for different types of intelligence. The traditional type of IQ is just the aspie favourite. When I try those little puzzles involving some liars and some honest players, I quickly get lost.



Amajanshi
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13 Nov 2010, 8:23 am

I can answer your questions as I've experienced the same!

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How does everyone else handle the incredible idiocy and extreme ignorance of neurotypical people?


It depends on who the person is and what they were being idiotic and ignorant about. If it's somebody who I know in person and have intermediate contact with, I'll try to clarify the topic and explain to them in concise terms on what the issue is. This is especially the case when some friends don't believe I have AS and insist that I'm "normal" even though they subtly think I'm weird. If my explanations don't work on them or they refuse to believe it, then I forget about it, it's their loss for being so ignorant and unwilling to understand things better.

If I was talking to acquaintances or strangers on the other hand, I'd just stop talking to them altogether or markedly reduce my social contact with them. No use wasting your breath on people who aren't worth your time.

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I feel like every average person redefines the word moron! Anytime I tell people how I feel about something they do that bothers me, it boomerangs on me. It either goes in one ear and out the other, or they ass kiss and say it's no problem, then when it gets hard after a (REALLY) short period of time, they get angry at me and blame it on me. I'm only thinking of my own damn sanity! Why is it so hard for people to understand being different!?


Many NTs are ignorant and superficial coz they're neurologically wired to be like that. They are wired so they can live life and do things effortlessly without having to constantly think about what they're doing unlike Aspies or people with ADHD. If you google "Neurotypical Syndrome" (a parody of AS), the description of it will be very fitting. They're wired to fear differences and automatically treat it as a threat. I think this has to do with some instinctive caveman tendency. You can try to educate them that your differences aren't harmful and that your brain is wired to process senses differently, you experience the world in a unique way with your social priorities innately weighted on detail and facts, and not sentimental, emotional connections.

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It's not blasphemy and it's not something we can change by rubbing a lamp and having a Genie pop out like Aladdin! How do you all handle it when it gets overwhelming? When you get sick of people asking you "what's up" or "how are you"? Or any other stupid, pointless question (or greeting) that people ask day in and day out? Or when you feel like they should have half of an ounce of common sense about something (such as someone's feelings) and don't?


They ask stupid pointless questions just to appear "polite" even though they don't care about you at all. NTs ask "How are you?" and "What's up?" to other NTs as well, they aren't intending to hurt your feelings in this so please don't take this one personally. I agree that it's stupid though coz they don't really mean it, and they're only saying it to avoid looking rude by NT "social rules".
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I just don't understand how people never think! Especially after an unpleasant situation that involves two or more people. You can't just keep repeating the situation over in your head going "it's their fault. It's their fault. It's their fault. I dunno why but, it's their fault." or anything else that people seem to think that screams ignorance and obliviousness. It blows my mind how little some people truly think. I feel physically sick from being so angry and fed up with it all. Any help at all is greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance as well for taking the time to read and reply.


As I said before, NTs are neurologically wired not to think about what they're doing unless it's something that requires a lot of dexterity or intellect. NTs are well wired in the social areas so they can communicate to other NTs easily with indirect communication and other info via body language, eye contact, social context and subtle social cues. They can do this social analysis without actually thinking about it. And the sad thing which also angers me is that they take it for granted and expect others, including Aspies to be the same.

For the most part, it's only when NTs take mind altering drugs like Cannabis or LSD, or gain a mental condition like PTSD or heavy Depression, or suffer severe physical trauma/disease/impairment, in which they come to their senses and realize how much rubbish society's norms and NT "social norms" are. Us Aspies already know about this coz we're neurologically wired to do everything MANUALLY, nothing on AUTO-PILOT, so we can see all the flaws and social BS that NTs engage in because we find that most of the things that NTs do are impractical for us (if we were to MANUALLY do them).

It's a sad state that the majority of people in the world are NT, but things aren't going to change fast. Even in politics, the politicians and lawmakers are also NT, and this results in a lot of corruption and irrational acts occurring. It enrages me, but what can I do... The best I and other Aspies can do is increase Awareness of ASDs in general.



Dear_one
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13 Nov 2010, 11:11 am

[quote="Amajanshi"]I can answer your questions as I've experienced the same!Us Aspies already know about this coz we're neurologically wired to do everything MANUALLY, nothing on AUTO-PILOT, so we can see all the flaws and social BS that NTs engage in because we find that most of the things that NTs do are impractical for us (if we were to MANUALLY do them).

<end quote>

Gee, my revelation of the week was that, similarly to NTs being hard-wired to do social problems in their subconscious (and pretty it up with a veneer of rationalization) I do some logic stuff subconsciously. I hated memorizing things like times tables, so I got off to a slow start in math, but I always know if a problem presents enough data for a mathematical solution, or if a spec. sheet violates the laws of physics and/or engineering.

Other things that I have also done on automatic:
Analyzing adhesive compatibility by touch.
Massage - moving my hands just as you would move yours, if you could reach, and relax at the same time.
Routinely entering about a hundred keystrokes in a row on a calculator, for chain calculations.
When pressed, I'd do about a normal day's output of engineering in a few minutes, close enough for prototype work.

John Elder Robson reports inventing circuit designs for 5-way crossovers in his head.

The names in the news are savants at the social arts, but we have savants too.



chiyoko
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14 Nov 2010, 12:57 pm

I stumbled upon this forum and have been very entertained. Aspie's for the most part are interesting, funny and unique. I find myself losing track of time reading all of the posts. However this one struck a nerve and I must reply. The "perception" you have of NT's is the exact same perception you are trying to fight being an aspie.
I am an NT and deal with people and their feelings all the time. I am direct and honest, and I don't understand what people are crying about or how I have offended them. Honestly, I have so many things going on in my life, I can't consider everyone else, because I wouldn't be able to consider me and mine. That sounds harsh though I'm not intending it to be. I'm just being honest. I offend people all the time. It's my personality, just like you have a personality.
By the way, when someone says "what's up" they are just acknowedging you. Just say "not much, what's up with you?" and if something is up, then say it. I have had this exact conversation before: Someone: "Hey what's up?" Me: "A bunch of crap. What's up with you?" and I kept on walking.
I'm just saying, no one wants to hurt your feelings. And again, I'm not trying to be mean, but you're not the only one who hurts. Maybe you don't see it. Just because you are diagnosed with something doesn't make your pain more important.



RainingRoses
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14 Nov 2010, 1:08 pm

chiyoko wrote:
I stumbled upon this forum and have been very entertained.

I offend people all the time. It's my personality.

Can't argue with you there.

Welcome. Hope to keep you "entertained."



chiyoko
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14 Nov 2010, 2:08 pm

Yes raining roses. Very intelligent, and not at all dispicable or coniving of you to take bits and pieces of a paragraph and create it to make you a victim.
Good luck with that.



RainingRoses
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14 Nov 2010, 2:35 pm

chiyoko wrote:
Yes raining roses. Very intelligent, and not at all dispicable or coniving of you to take bits and pieces of a paragraph and create it to make you a victim.
Good luck with that.

Just a little "heads up" -- that's all. There are many people here who don't feel, and who don't appreciate being called, "entertaining" based on their AS. There are also a number of NTs who treat WP as their own little psychological experiment. Also not widely appreciated.

Never had the "victim mentality." I was well out of the "easily diagnosed" age group before anyone starting diagnosing. So, I don't carry around "pain," as you call it, based consciously on any diagnosis. Many people do, however. You'll find folks here who probably deserve that description or label.

You'll also find widespread chopping and cutting of posts into bits and pieces. It's how many of us (have to) process information -- especially if we're trying to make a point. Apologies if that doesn't suit your style.

And, hey, I'll take "very intelligent" and "not at all despicable or conniving." Thanks! (You'll find many of us don't get sarcasm either. :mrgreen: )


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chiyoko
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14 Nov 2010, 2:53 pm

Haha!! You're such a poser! You're not even diagnosed. You're just manipulative, and I'm gonna go ahead and let you cry about it. So go ahead, rant and rave and tell everyone how offended you are. I'm done with you. Cause you know what? I really don't care about you. You crybaby wannabe.
Bye
Oh and by the way, you are definitely not one of the ones that I was talking about, I can assure you.



RainingRoses
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14 Nov 2010, 3:36 pm

chiyoko wrote:
Haha!! You're such a poser! You're not even diagnosed.

Hey, I think I remember you from middle school. You called me names and degraded me then, and you're still at it! I also think you mean, "poseur." Yeah, you'll find a lot of us doing that -- because AS is just so much damned fun. It's a hoot, really! You should pose as someone with AS, like I'm doing, and try it out.

You'll also find that many adults are "not even diagnosed." Tougher than you might otherwise think to diagnose an adult accurately. Also, many adults affirmatively do not want a diagnosis. I'm actually not one of them. But, whatever the case, and since this seems to matter a lot to you, you'll find all of the reasons for and against diagnoses by doing some simple searches here.

chiyoko wrote:
I'm gonna go ahead and let you cry about it.

Also contrary to what you might think, lots of us never "cry about it." We actually like ourselves fairly OK as we are.

chiyoko wrote:
So go ahead, rant and rave and tell everyone how offended you are.

What I told *you* is that lots of folks -- including me -- were inclined to be offended by being treated as "entertainment." If anyone's ranting and raving...

chiyoko wrote:
I'm done with you.

Oh, if only that were true. Why don't I believe it?

chiyoko wrote:
Cause you know what? I really don't care about you. You crybaby wannabe.

Never asked you to care. Never asked you to hold me while I weep. Just asked you to calm down with the whole "Aspie entertainment" thing. And I guess I implied above that I'm sort of sick of being called names. But, that's up to you to stop.

chiyoko wrote:
Oh and by the way, you are definitely not one of the ones that I was talking about, I can assure you.

Sorry to disappoint. Try someone else.


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Until everybody's kickin', everybody's scratchin',
Everything seems to fail ?
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Dear_one
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14 Nov 2010, 3:44 pm

RainingRoses - I suppose in NYC you get used to people with many different perceptions and develop a thick skin? So many people assume that everyone is like themselves, and can't imagine the side-effects of a brain that had to get custom-programmed for communication, etc. My ex is notorious for seeing her own worst motivations in others, and then doing a first strike.
"Whenever two people meet, there are six personalities -
Each one as they see themselves,
each one as they see the other
and each one as they really are."



RainingRoses
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14 Nov 2010, 3:52 pm

Dear_one wrote:
RainingRoses - I suppose in NYC you get used to people with many different perceptions and develop a thick skin? So many people assume that everyone is like themselves, and can't imagine the side-effects of a brain that had to get custom-programmed for communication, etc. My ex is notorious for seeing her own worst motivations in others, and then doing a first strike.
"Whenever two people meet, there are six personalities -
Each one as they see themselves,
each one as they see the other
and each one as they really are."


You're going to have to be a little bit more straightforward with me. I'm just not getting your point -- sorry about that.


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Put the curse of loneliness on every boy and every girl,
Until everybody's kickin', everybody's scratchin',
Everything seems to fail ?
And it was all for the want of a nail.


Dear_one
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14 Nov 2010, 4:05 pm

I wrote that before your own reply appeared, so it was really in answer to the previous post. I was hoping you were used to people reacting to their own private hallucinations when they see other people, especially hard to really imagine types like us.



RainingRoses
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14 Nov 2010, 4:44 pm

Dear_one wrote:
I wrote that before your own reply appeared, so it was really in answer to the previous post. I was hoping you were used to people reacting to their own private hallucinations when they see other people, especially hard to really imagine types like us.


No matter how "used to it" I get, it's still frustrating -- and always will be, I believe. For the life of me, I can't understand why an NT would want to show up and interact here (unless that NT has a family member/best friend/whatever with AS). Who knows? Maybe everyone loves having them hanging around offering suggestions like, "I don't understand why you can't do that, it's so easy, just say X." But, from how this thread has developed, I doubt I'm the only one with a more-or-less automatic suspicion.

This most recent little colloquy is a perfect example. In three posts we went from, "I love all of you unique, funny, entertaining Aspies," to "haha, you're such a poseur, you're not even diagnosed, you wannabe crybaby." Huh? I thought you had to be 13 to register here.

I'm also a member of A.A., and almost all A.A. meetings are "closed." The name says it all. No one needs non-alcoholics showing up and saying, "why can't you just stop drinking, it's ruining your life." Sorry, but we just don't want to hear from you. It's not your fault, but you simply don't have anything useful or intelligent to say to us. Pretty much the same thing here. At least not that different by my lights...


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Put the curse of loneliness on every boy and every girl,
Until everybody's kickin', everybody's scratchin',
Everything seems to fail ?
And it was all for the want of a nail.