NT Social Rules that are Absolutely Ridiculous

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CockneyRebel
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06 Dec 2010, 10:33 am

If they used their heads, than they wouldn't interrupt like that.


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Titangeek
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06 Dec 2010, 1:52 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
If they used their heads, than they wouldn't interrupt like that.



only one problem with that...


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techn0teen
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07 Dec 2010, 12:45 am

Cicely wrote:
You eat with your mouth, you talk with your mouth, and it's rude to talk with your mouth full. So why is eating considered a social activity?


Good question. I am guessing because NTs do not place as much emphasis on logic?



paterfamilias
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08 Dec 2010, 11:24 pm

I have never understood the attraction of nightclubs as a place to hang out with people. You can't talk. You can barely see. Usually the place stinks. I've only been to a couple of different clubs but usually the music is far too loud and mixed terribly.

What is the point?



Lene
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09 Dec 2010, 5:32 am

You have to pretend to be stupid to be liked.



madbirdgirl
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09 Dec 2010, 6:49 am

Lene wrote:
You have to pretend to be stupid to be liked.

:wink: i don't know what you're talking about.



Lene
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09 Dec 2010, 7:06 am

madbirdgirl wrote:
Lene wrote:
You have to pretend to be stupid to be liked.

:wink: i don't know what you're talking about.


Wow! Let's be bff!! :P



necroluciferia
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09 Dec 2010, 8:27 am

paterfamilias wrote:
I have never understood the attraction of nightclubs as a place to hang out with people. You can't talk. You can barely see. Usually the place stinks. I've only been to a couple of different clubs but usually the music is far too loud and mixed terribly.

What is the point?


I don't get how going to nightclubs or pubs where music is played can be an appropriate place for a social gathering. Hang out with friends or meeting new people in a place where the music is so loud you can't actually have a conversation without constantly shouting "WHAT?" after every sentence and having to shout your response directly into the persons ear. What's the point?



madbirdgirl
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09 Dec 2010, 7:16 pm

Lene wrote:
madbirdgirl wrote:
Lene wrote:
You have to pretend to be stupid to be liked.

:wink: i don't know what you're talking about.


Wow! Let's be bff!! :P

yeah! you should totally come over sometime for dinner. you're welcome in my house anytime. but don't be surprised if i call the police :P



asdmonger
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09 Dec 2010, 8:02 pm

One of the things that really made me feel like I had found a home when I joined this forum was the realization that not liking to be required to greet people with some insincere comment like 'How are you' or even 'hello' in the morning was a characteristic that is pretty common among aspies, where I had always thought it was just me.

When I got my first white-collar job, this started to become an issue because the NTs I worked with thought that my failure to greet them like long-lost relatives each morning really meant something. To me, it meant nothing, but I began to realize that it was incredibly important to them.

So I started to add forced but pleasant greetings to my 'acting normal' routine. Strangely, after years of forcing myself to do this, I liked the fact that it seemed to buy me a lot of good will and make work relationships much more pleasant. Now, this behavior is so natural to me that I can't remember why it bugged me so much way back when. Truth is, much of the time I still have to force it, but it's well worth the effort and I really don't mind it at all.

And I do agree that learning to act stupid is another thing that can really improve relationships. My tendency is never to chime in on a topic unless I'm about 99% sure that I know exactly what I'm talking about. This seems to engender resentment from some people, like 'He thinks he's so smart and he's always right. He thinks he's better than everyone else'. I find if I say something really stupid once in a while NTs like me a lot better.



Jaydee
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10 Dec 2010, 7:03 am

Well, you know, things may not be so clear-cut when it comes to interruptions. If I sit watching television and someone comes into the room, I always acknowledge their presence, either by saying something or by meeting their eye. This is only polite, but also very useful because in this way, I can quickly find out whether it is likely that they really need/want to talk to me about something, or whether they will be quiet and leave me alone. Usually, NTs can spot this in the attitude or countenance of the other person. If they start talking to me, I must quickly ascertain whether they want to talk about something actually important. If it is, it would be rude of me to continue to watch tv (unless I can do both: talk with them and watch tv at the same time). Important issues always trumps tv. If it is not important, I normally say "I'm watching a programme on the telly, could we talk about this later?", and normally people will respect this. Maybe NTs forget that it isn't that easy for a person with AS to spot that they really need to talk to the person, since this has to do with reading body language.
In general, it would be considered rude, also by NTs, to continue making noise and disturbing people who are trying to watch tv.



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10 Dec 2010, 7:16 am

Alright, here are some strange things:

1) If you are working in a team and one of the others in your group screws up, it is somehow your fault as well. Then you are required to accept the blame for something you didn't do. Then you are required to apologise for something you didn't do. If you don't apologise, you get told off for something you didn't do.

2) You are not allowed to ask a woman how old she is, but if you are a man, it is perfectly fine for her to ask how old you are.

3) People ask trick questions and then get angry when you don't answer the way they expected.

4) People ask rhetorical questions and then if you answer them because it wasn't clear it was rhetorical, they get call it backchat.

5) It is polite to shake hands with a man when you are introduced.



Titangeek
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10 Dec 2010, 12:39 pm

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
Alright, here are some strange things:

1) If you are working in a team and one of the others in your group screws up, it is somehow your fault as well. Then you are required to accept the blame for something you didn't do. Then you are required to apologise for something you didn't do. If you don't apologise, you get told off for something you didn't do.

2) You are not allowed to ask a woman how old she is, but if you are a man, it is perfectly fine for her to ask how old you are.

3) People ask trick questions and then get angry when you don't answer the way they expected.

4) People ask rhetorical questions and then if you answer them because it wasn't clear it was rhetorical, they get call it backchat.

5) It is polite to shake hands with a man when you are introduced.



i have not yet encountered the second one, what if when she asks how old you are you say some thing like "26, you?"


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Tiggurix
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23 Dec 2010, 12:58 am

I have never understood why I can't talk about things like menstruation cycles and other parts of the workings of the female body with women. I'm only curious and eager to learn more about it from them, but somehow they find it incredibly improper.



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23 Dec 2010, 2:44 am

Tiggurix wrote:
I have never understood why I can't talk about things like menstruation cycles and other parts of the workings of the female body with women. I'm only curious and eager to learn more about it from them, but somehow they find it incredibly improper.


hahahaha, thats hilarious, women find this whole menstrual cycle a personal thing, and they find it uncomfortable to talk about it with men. For me personally, if a guy friend wanted to know about it, id be ok with talking about. Besides, i dont think most men are interested or arent suppose to me. But I did have a guy friend who was really curious about it and he'd always talk about his sister having a heavy flow. But he got away with this cause he was gay.

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
2) You are not allowed to ask a woman how old she is, but if you are a man, it is perfectly fine for her to ask how old you are.


really? I asked my prof(whos a male) how old he was, and he got offended. And there was this other time where he asked me how old I thought he was and I said 50, err that didnt go down so well

necroluciferia wrote:
I don't get how going to nightclubs or pubs where music is played can be an appropriate place for a social gathering. Hang out with friends or meeting new people in a place where the music is so loud you can't actually have a conversation without constantly shouting "WHAT?" after every sentence and having to shout your response directly into the persons ear. What's the point?


Err I never quite understood that one either. I dont understand how u meet people, but just hanging with friends doing stupid things and dancing can be fun. As for meeting people goes, its heavily fueled by superficial attraction as far as I know.

Cicely wrote:
You eat with your mouth, you talk with your mouth, and it's rude to talk with your mouth full. So why is eating considered a social activity?


Ahh s**t, I found myself talking with food in my mouth a lot these past few months. I dont know why? I dont normally do it. NT's generally find it disgusting



pensieve
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23 Dec 2010, 4:54 am

When I started to drink beer people said it was a man's drink. WTF? I know lots of women who drink beer.

Every time I try to bring up something intellectual to talk about people just stare at me dumbly. Is mediocrity compulsory for ALL conversational topics?

people don't like it when I look up or down. I can hear them fine so what is the point of looking at them?

Apparently it's rude to correct people. People really don't like to learn new things?

They don't like my fidgeting and stimming either.


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