The whole "Family Thing" is a joke to me.

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That's very deep. Thank you for the Insight. [/quote]

you are very welcome..i do hope that some of you might see how hard parents TRY.. even if you are across the pond as you are I know we all have parental instincts. FYI my dream is one day to come across the pond and see what is over there..

I need to explain.... as i do with my son so much because I do forget that the aspie in him does not always understand the strange way his mom talks.. across the pond is from the state to the UK... one of my best buds on line is from across the pond..

see even as a parent i know at times I need to talk to my son on his level and not use any slang, or silly jokes in between.. its white or black for him.....no gray matter!! !

I'll separete different parts of the quotes post into different lines, and address them one by one.

I feel like a Forigner in my own House. My Mom uses Humour and Slang that I don't understand. My Dad thinks that I'm more Autistic than I really am, so he treats me the same sh***y way that he did, when I was Four. I've had to draw the line, on Monday Evening, when my Dad kept on telling me that my locking him out was not a big deal, and than he slowed his words down and raised his voice a notch, and I was sick of dealing with that, year after year, so I've cut in and said, "Everything's Cool." and walked off into my Room.

Today, my Mom was on my case about the fact that my Dog, Chico found a Baby Soother on his Walk and that he ate the Nipple. She was treating me like I was a ret*d, nagging me to no end, and I've ended up feeling sick to my Stomach, but I didn't Vomit. And than she was talking to me like a Valley Girl, in the Grocery Store and that made me feel even more Nauseated. I've just told her that I wasn't feeling very well, and I've had the Trotts for a Week and a Half, already.

I get along more with my Dog, than I do the rest of my Family. At least Chico knows me as I really am. As a dignified, well-bread Individual with Class and Brains.

All that I feel that I care about, are This Site, my Dog, my Buses and Myself and some Non-Family Members. If I won the Lotto 6/49 Tomorrow Night, I'd leave. My Family causes me nothing but Grief. I have a Member of my Chosen Family on my Night Dresser. She will ease my Mind and remind me of London's Happier Days, as I drift off into my Slumber. It works even better with the Downstairs Bathroom Light on, because I can see the Red shine of her Body.

My own family has shown me that blood ties don't necessarily mean much. My father left before I was born and has never been around much in my life; although he's my blood father he's not my father in any psychological or practical sense. My step-brother has been raised by my father from the age of four, so although he's not my father's blood son he is his son psychologically and practically speaking.

That being said, I am fond of my two younger half-siblings, though I wouldn't say I love them, and I enjoy seeing the family resemblances, physical and otherwise, between us. I also love my mother very much, and we are very close.

But then there's my extended family. There is a lot of them, and they have been around quite a bit while I've been growing up. I care about them in a way, but I don't love them and don't see why I should be expected to. There are certain family obligations- Christmas cards, birthday wishes etc.- that I know I must fulfil and don't mind fulfilling, but apart from that I don't want to have much to do with my extended family. If they weren't my family I don't think I would like any of them as people.

As both a parent of a HFA and probably on the spectrum myself, I totally disagree with ryansjoy's admonishment. A lot of the parental behaviors described here are emotionally abusive and at the very least hypocritical and selfish. I was adopted by extreme NT's, very intolerant, uneducated and Sunday Christians. They criticized just about everything I did, especially my father. He would get angry if I were frowning and then accuse me of being up to something if I were smiling. See, I didn't react the "appropriate" way to jokes or stories all the time and I often was lost in thought so my facial expressions differed from others. I am very physically awkward, an extreme right-hand dominance and it's very hard to do things with both hands-my dad would say I was deliberately making something difficult that was easy. It was the accusations that drove me over the edge.
One of the really big wedges between my folks and me happened when I got bullied at school in 2nd grade. I actually blocked a lot out and wonder if something else happened to me. Anyhow, I came home and cried about whatever happened and my parents didn't act concerned. I learned that I couldn't trust my parents with my feelings. I couldn't trust them to support me. Again, I don't remember everything but it interfered with going to Church as some of the bullies were upstanding Church members.
These things are devastating to a child in their socially formative years.
But for some reason, it's my fault. My parents also "tried their hardest" to "understand" me. But I "just wouldn't open up". I stopped sharing my feelings.
I do a lot of activities "just for my son". He wants to go swimming so I take him and spend time with him. If I want to go to a store and I don't want to make a side trip, I explain, "this is for _____, we're not going to the video store too". Other times, we share trips, "I"m going to the mall, there's a video store, you can spend ____ time to look at games". We don't make family trips unless we all get something out of it. I don't take him to Chinese food because he won't eat it.
These are strong beliefs I have based on the lack of consideration my husband and I got from our families. (his story is much worse than mine)

I don't get the whole "family thing" myself. I just don't feel anything towards my Mom or anyone close. My Mom says she loves me and all, but i don't see it. She is suposted to say she loves me because she is my mom.

Ryan'sjoy, please reread my message. Nowhere do I make any accusation like that. Like you said, I don't know you at all. Please don't "rip me up" because you don't understand what I've written.
I disagreed with your "admonishment". There are some people here complaining about and relating their feelings about their families. You came on and basically told them they were probably wrong because of their AS traits. You seem very defensive at the same time, accusative and cold ("Get over it")
That's what I disagree with. They were describing behaviors that seem to me as abusive. You came to say they were wrong.

My post wasn't about you, I don't know why or how you would turn it all around and make it about yourself. I was clear about what I disagreed with and then moved on to my description of my own parents. Perhaps it makes you uneasy that parents are the subject of complaint. But they are a large part of our development and identity.

I can completely relate to the "family = BS" mentality that many here have. When I was younger I was punished for things I did not understand. A few examples that come to mind:

- One time we went to visit a friend of ours in another town. I was playing Nintendo before we left and was enjoying myself. I really didn't want to leave. My parents made me go anyways. I didn't really enjoy myself over at my friends's place. When we got back it was night already and I was tired and just wanted to play my Nintendo game again. My parents wanted me to watch some Sesame Street on ice show or something. I didn't want to. I was grounded. My parents later told me that I had a "grumpy attitude" or something. What they don't understand is it had been a long day and I really just wanted to play my game. They kept insisting on me watching the Sesame Street show and that made me a bit mad.
- Another time was when my best friend and I were younger as well. We found diapers and "potty stuff" really funny for some reason. There was a stack of unused diapers (my younger brother's) on the bed in the room we were in. My dad told me to put them away or I'd be grounded. I did, but I missed one. I went back to get it but I couldn't stop giggling, so he grounded me anyways. I've never understood why he did that. I was doing what he told me to - putting the diapers away.
- My dad always acts like a little hyperactive kid when he's at home and not in a "work mood." My brother and I (as well as my mother) don't like it yet he continues. And he wonders why I "lash out" at him with a "bad attitude." My mom denies that he has a problem.
- My dad once took my old computer (the only one that was mine at the time) and took it apart to mount it on a board for display for my brother's Cub Scouts project. I then had to use our family computer for my needs, and got punished when I was on it too much. I eventually bought my own computer a few years later.
- I was always punished for failing grades and not doing my homework. I found such tasks mediocre and totally pointless. My parents even said in front of me during a meeting with my psychologist that punishing me never worked for the school/homework issue, yet for some reason they kept trying it afterwards.
- My dad played the "martyr card" once when I snapped at him. I don't care how much any parent has worked to "put a shelter over your head" and "keep dinner on the table" and all that, if you're not acting like you deserve respect, you won't get it. If only he understood that...

My parents just b*tched at me when I said I wanted to commit suicide. They lectured me on how you "can't always get your way." I'm in pain and all they can do is b*tch and lecture me?! I don't remember asking to be born. All they've ever done is made my life hell. They make me feel like a child undeserving of affection. Blood relations mean nothing to me. There are very few people in my "family" that I give a rat's @ss about. My friends are in some ways more important to me. I often ask myself what I did to deserve this life. I've yet to receive an answer.

At school I had a couple of NT friends. I used to wish my family were more like theirs.

I later found out that they wished their family was more like mine!

I now think just about every family is dysfunctional in some way. that's why movies & TV sit coms about dysfunction families are successful.