" I wanted to want to" as a reason for breaking pr

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The trouble is that you see it as lack of respect or "flaking", but that is not what it is. His entire neurology is different. Would you consider it lack of respect if a blind person failed to compliment you on how you looked? I did not choose that analogy lightly; although I am not totally blind, I have ocular albinism and am legally blind. And, if anything, it is easier to work around some of the issues with my sight than with my mind.

You might wonder why that is, but the answer is simple. When working around issues with my eyes, the tool I use to work around them is my mind. When trying to work around issues with my mind, the tool I must use is, also, my mind. Which quickly grows complicated.

I understand so much more now that I know I have executive function issues, and that understanding has allowed me to make a little progress in a few areas, but things like focus are still very difficult to control. I have literally made myself severely ill (with dehydration, for example) because I lost track of the time and my own need to keep hydrated in the heat. Now, I have had enough problems with dehydration (it triggers migraines that are epic by my standards, and I live with frequent migraines and take most of them in stride) that it terrifies me. I hate it. I would do anything possible to avoid it. I literally panic at the thought of it. And yet, there are many times when I literally cannot avoid it. I get caught up, and the next thing I know, my head is hurting so bad I can't ignore it. (For reference, I have had occasions when I was writing, completely unaware I had any headache until I stopped, when I proved in fact to have such a severe headache I couldn't even walk without staggering. The headache that forces itself on my attention is a fearsome one indeed...)

I did that today, in fact; I hope this post is reasonably coherent, since I can usually compose lucid text even with a migraine, but I can't be totally sure of that. So, if I've failed to explain adequately, please let me know... (And I might be a day or two responding; this was a bad one, and from experience, I've learned that I'll suffer far worse tomorrow than I have already today, and may even be laid up on Wednesday as well.)

I totally understand what you mean about him not flaking or disrespecting me. HOWEVER, we have had so many ups and downs in our friendship over almost 4 years (see my other posts) that I do know, for certain, sometimes he actually punishes me on purpose with "flaking." It has often been intentional. He has even blocked me from his email/cell phone/instant messaging for up to 10 days or 2 weeks at a time. He's a jerk when he's mad. Now, I know for certain this past Friday was not intentional. This week, something caught his attention...**and** when we agreed to confirm at 11am , it was very late the night before so he was quite tired and half spaced out already. There are countless times he has absolutely deliberately hurt me. It's only because I don't ever know what is intentional and what is an oversight that I want to make a boundary- if he's more than 30 minutes late, plans are cancelled. I feel I need to draw a line somewhere so that if he is sincere, he will contact me and if he's just being an arsewhole, he won't get back to me at all.

Sorry about your migranes. Have you tried acupuncture? Massage? Yoga? Friends have said they all help greatly.