Lack of friends is affecting my upcoming wedding

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Ouch ... I feel for you. That's an awkward spot to be in. I had a similar experience in connection with my wedding. My fiancee (then wife, now ex-wife, but don't let that scare you) and I actually had to compromise a lot and sort of "finesse" the numbers to make it look right. Lots of couples do -- this is not at all unusual. The point being, though, that we really worked together on fixing an uncomfortable situation. I think your fiancee needs to understand that this is pretty important -- both from a general, social point of view and from a specifically distressing-to-you point of view.

Two observations:

First, there aren't too many unbreakable rules in life, but one of them is that you don't decline a request to be in a friend's wedding. You just don't. Anyone who's bailing on you now is not a very good friend. (Sorry -- but I think you understand this already.) Most people consider it an honor to be asked; the rest feel it's an obligation and follow through.

Second, weddings are a bride's day. (That's another unbreakable rule, BTW.) I don't want to freak you out, but the focus here should really be on you. Or, better said, more on you than on anything else. That's just a way of saying that the focus shouldn't be on your future husband and all his buddies. Ideally, yes, it should be on the two of you together, but I don't see that pulled off successfully very often.

Now, given how you've described yourself, it just doesn't seem realistic at this point for you to go out into the world or Florida or wherever and, over the next year, make a bunch of new friends so that you can staff your wedding. It doesn't suit your personality (i.e., I think you'd have to be extremely outgoing, which is maybe not you), and you're going to feel artificial doing it. That said, aren't there plenty of women around you two who -- although maybe not your BFFs -- could fill in here? Does your fiancee have sisters? Female cousins? Nieces? Friends of your gender? They don't have to be on "your team" or your side of the family to qualify. And it seems to me that they would be a better resource than a group of people you don't even know yet.

What upsets me the most (just sort of vicariously) is that your fiancee doesn't seem to get or to care how much distress this is causing you. I'm not say he's evil or not right for you or anything of the sort. What I'm saying is that he needs to get a clue and to start looking out for your interests on your wedding day. This isn't game day, he's not planning a frat party, and there's no requirement that someone be in your wedding party to celebrate with you. Why is he so insistent on forcing something that's making you feel bad now and is going to make you look bad then?

P.S. Take purchase up on her offer. She makes an awesome friend ... plus she's female!

Book a wedding trip to the Caribbean where you exchange vows on a gorgeous beach overlook crystal blue waters beneath rustling palm trees! Gorgeous pictures, nothing but the two of you, no BS, probably less money, great memories and a honeymoon!

I think, just have a small, quiet, private ceremony with those you care about and not those who are not important. Of course a WP bridesmaid or 2 is a great idea... : )

i was gonna offer to fill in too, if i wasn't 8,953,525 miles away.

i've never been in a wedding party. never had BFFs like that. most of the time, the people i consider to be my closest friends don't even invite me as a guest (actually, i've NEVER been invited to a friend's wedding). my husband has been a best man 3 times and an emcee 2 times, so i often got invited as his date, but i couldn't sit at the head table. i sat at the table of oddbods.

at my own wedding, my bridesmaids were my 2 sisters and my sister-in-law. don't be thinking i had a big wedding though - total cost was about $500.

okay this was a depressing reply. ummm yay on the idea of using WPers in your wedding party!