Aspies are a pain to talk to
TenPencePiece
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Joined: 11 Dec 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Male
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OP, you are making a big generalisation there.
I do understand though, a lot are in to gaming and anime and what have you - or so I've seen both here and in real life. I didn't get further than it being childhood entertainment, though.
But it is not the case with all, in fact, it is not the case with quite a few. If you are not convinced, please, challenge me to prove you wrong.
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tomboy4good
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Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 62
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Video games & anime infatuation....sounds like a stereotype to me. I have a few forums that I surf & discuss stuff, not just WP. I have not been DXd but I have my own special interests, mostly photography, but I discuss it on a photography forum & not here.
I dunno what to say though. I can & do talk about general stuff, but my social skills are pretty bad. Hope you can find a way to talk about stuff you find interesting. maybe if not on WP, maybe there's another place for you in addition to here?
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Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive
I dunno what to say though. I can & do talk about general stuff, but my social skills are pretty bad. Hope you can find a way to talk about stuff you find interesting. maybe if not on WP, maybe there's another place for you in addition to here?
I like WP, but I like in-person conversations too.
Yes, it's a stereotype, and going by what I've seen over these months, this one is based in fact. Actually, in my experience, all stereotypes are, but there's always a lot of exceptions. Not in this case.
I don't have anything against gamers or anime people or whatever, but it gets old going from person to person and seeing the same overly introverted, bury-their-face-in-their-gameboy crap. I feel like I'm talking to the same person in different bodies.
um...EXCUSE ME!
Not all aspies are that way.
Especially girls!
I don't care about games, and it annoys me when that is ALL someone wants to talk about.
Now if they talk about that AND other things, then it is fine.
But if it is just one thing, tell them that you aren't interested in that sort of thing.
BOY do I feel your pain!! Many of my best friends are into anime, video games, etc., but that's not the reason I get along with them so well. It's because we all have a quirky sense of humor!! Honestly I get bored stupid by a lot of the stereotypical "nerd" stuff that a lot of Aspies can't seem to get enough of. I like to talk about music, things that make me laugh, language/linguistics, poetry, and some forms of spirituality (particularly "alternative" forms of it like Buddhism, Wicca, and a little bit of Native American, too). I definitely have Asperger's, though, no question. I like to socialize, but I still know that I'm not exactly the best at it. So (@ the OP) you might have Asperger's despite not having "nerdy"/"geeky" interests. I'm living proof of this
Thanks for agreeing. I think I actually do, but when I see how other aspies behave, I just... I just shake my head. It gets so ridiculous. If there were LESS of them it would be cool, but it seems like almost ALL of them are like that. And I do have friends who like anime and games, but it's not like it has to constantly come back to those two subjects.
And again, I'd like to emphasize how poorly spent a meeting for people on the spectrum is with our faces buried in a hand held game. I even switched spectrum groups, and found the same garbage. It feels like AS is practically synonymous with arrested development.
Look, I'm not making myself really popular by saying all these things, but I can't hold it in anymore. I suspect a lot of the folks who got a diagnosis in childhood received a double-edged gift- they received support for AS and were lucky enough to know why they were different, but were never challenged to grow interpersonally and behaviorally, 'cuz hey, AS is a legitimate condition, so why force yourself to do what you're not designed to? This isn't ALWAYS the case, but I think that's kinda what's going on. I'm 29, and a lot of these guys are 20, maybe 22, and most actually do have a DX, so maybe I should look for an older group.
With my luck I'll end up in a roomful of gray haired men playing pokemon.
If I wanted to do that, why not just hang out in a gaming store all day. It's little things like this that get me doubting if I even have it. Yes, I had an irritating day. No, I don't expect you to care. Yes, I'm an ###hole, I just hide it. I go to these functions for people on the spectrum and the only guy I enjoy talking to is this fellow who likes sports trivia and little else. I don't even like sports, but he's so much more interesting and worldly, and at least it doesn't go back to PSP or anime. This is why I so badly would like to meet somebody on here in person. I'm not asking for a hoity toity cultured genius, but there IS a world outside of games. If games hadn't been invented, maybe they'd be a little more.... I don't know. I don't care, I need a smoke and a drink of water. Seriously, why does being on the spectrum also mean being horrendously immature?
Fortunately I am able to spot trolls like you from a mile away. Next time make it more subtle.
3/10
If I wanted to do that, why not just hang out in a gaming store all day. It's little things like this that get me doubting if I even have it. Yes, I had an irritating day. No, I don't expect you to care. Yes, I'm an ###hole, I just hide it. I go to these functions for people on the spectrum and the only guy I enjoy talking to is this fellow who likes sports trivia and little else. I don't even like sports, but he's so much more interesting and worldly, and at least it doesn't go back to PSP or anime. This is why I so badly would like to meet somebody on here in person. I'm not asking for a hoity toity cultured genius, but there IS a world outside of games. If games hadn't been invented, maybe they'd be a little more.... I don't know. I don't care, I need a smoke and a drink of water. Seriously, why does being on the spectrum also mean being horrendously immature?
Fortunately I am able to spot trolls like you from a mile away. Next time make it more subtle.
3/10
Yeah, I have been coming here for two years, bringing genuine concerns to these boards, and I just suddenly decide to use my account to troll. Makes sense, genius! No, these are legitimate concerns, whether you agree or not.
Back on this topic, I'd like to post an update. I found out the youth group I attend is an "activities" group, so I guess it's supposed to be playful. Don't think I'll be going back.
Yesterday I attended a mini conference downtown regarding Aspergers (really, it was for everyone on the spectrum, but mostly people with AS attended.) It was held in this auditorium at some huge church, but of course it wasn't religious in nature at all.
I am so SO glad I went. There was a great psychologist I met who had a kid on the spectrum, who even admitted people in his own field don't always know what they're doing, and there needs to be more education for the professionals. There were really nice, down to Earth facilitators who kept us on track. And there were LOTS of aspies who I had a great time speaking with, and gave me lots of resources to follow up on.
And not a hand held gaming device in sight. Beautiful.
I recently attended a support group for the first time. No video games there. Instead it was a group discussion (with a moderator) about various topics that affected aspies.
Afterwards there were groups of people discussing various things on their own. Didn't see any playing\trading card type things. Its a very wide spectrum - some people are affected more than others. Some wanted to talk, some spoke their mind at random times (which was quite amusing, as I'd be thinking the same thing, but was not game to speak up) and others like myself, are the quiet ones that never say anything.
Afterwards there were groups of people discussing various things on their own. Didn't see any playing\trading card type things. Its a very wide spectrum - some people are affected more than others. Some wanted to talk, some spoke their mind at random times (which was quite amusing, as I'd be thinking the same thing, but was not game to speak up) and others like myself, are the quiet ones that never say anything.
It sounds like they respected those that didn't want to put themselves out there. That's the best type of environment, that implies "You're welcome to share, and we'd like to hear from you, but if you're not quite ready, you're just as welcome to observe."
When I was 17, I was a member of a church youth group, and the facilitator there was some girl's mother. Anyway, it's not that I didn't WANT to talk, but back then I couldn't find the words to articulate myself. One time I was standing by, and she turned to me and was like, "Any time now!" like I'm welcome to open up, already. I wanted to, but just couldn't.
But Kahlua, yours is the kinda group I'd like attend.
I'm utterly disinterested in anime, yu-gay-oh or any of that. I like travel, beer and the outlyiing (eurosceptic) areas of UK politics in general. I do love all these things, including photography.
I would add a lot more but this chair that I'm sitting on is bloody uncomfortable here - I'm in my Tallinn hotel.
I will admit that when I was in HS, I was heavily into anime and video-gaming. However, I never liked most of the main-stream, Americanized garbage. I looked for things online, and because of that, I was able to discover quite a few different things about the world online -- mIRC, Bittorent, etc. Then I graduated to Asian dramas. Oh my.
Anywhom, my interests are far beyond anime, though. From time to time, I miss it greatly. But I love history, art, science, astronomy, psychology, math, language, religion, etc. I love things that deal with dancing. I play music, I listen to classical and rock, etc. Overall, I knew that anime and video-gaming, in excess, would cripple me. If someone wants to talk about anime and video games, I indulge them, but I always try to find a way to pull out of them and look at them from different angles. I feel like everything is interconnected, so if the anime deals with my most recent obsession, I'll indulge in it as well.
My main point is, yes, I like those two things that annoy you. But I'm the type of person who wants to learn a bit of EVERYTHING, so my conversations can usually be chameleon-like.
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