What is your most common social mistake?

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My body language has always been poor and my eye contact is currently in bad shape as well. This leads to me feeling insecure that others will perceive themselves as superior to me and it fosters misanthropy in me.

My most common mistake is probably my lack of saying anything at all. I've learned to be so self conscious about what I say (thanks high school environment) that I hardly ever say anything when I should. In short, my problems revolve more around what I don't say rather than what I do say.

Same here. Lead to plenty of awkwardness when I've snubbed someone by not following them/waiting with them, or when I've followed them and they didn't want to be followed.


This too, although I don't think it's exclusive to aspies.

Rambling on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on....

I used to go on and on about my special interest to people at school, and I even lost friends because of it! But since I have a fear of being lonely and not having friends, I've been trying my hardest not to talk about it to my new friends I've got now, and it has worked. I've learnt that it's OK if you talk a little about your special interests. Everybody in interested in something, and NTs like to listen because it's polite - the same as I politely listen to what they got to say about something they're interested in. I've learnt that it's all about ''meeting half way''. I know it's hard for Aspies to make everything keep at a balanced level. That's what AS is all about - finding it difficult to keep things balanced at the right level.

i dont know when im supposed to say stuff like hi or bye so i just end up ignoring the person or looking at them and then not saying anything because i dont know if they want me to greet or bid them farewell. also in a group of more than 2 i tend not to know when im in the conversation and so dont know if i can talk or if i would be interrupting or evesdropping so i tend to pay attention and drift off at the same time. i also dont know if asking about certain things would be rude if that person alludes to it. like mental health or criminal record or personal life stuff so theres always an awkward silence after they mention it. conversations with me tend to die because of those reasons.

i have thought and i have come to the conclusion that my most serious social mistake is that i could not care less about how people think than i care about the future of a fly i see eating breakfast on a fresh pile of horse s**t.

whatever. the fly will fly away into the land of never where my mind is not appraising anything.

people are the same as flies in a way. they come near me and land, and then they dart off.
what a nuisance to my sensorium it is to have to accommodate them because they think they were born superior to flies, and that i should treat them better than flies. flies are conscious too. it is just that i have no desire to get to know any fly on a personal basis.

too many "hurdles" "curdle" the milk of my human kindness.

I have the following problem too, I mean unless they say "follow me" I don't do it.
Another one is clinginess. I mean if I find someone I like that is friendly and that I get really close to, sometimes I don't realize that they need their space too and that has gotten me in trouble more times than one can imagine. It hurts to have things like that blow up in your face, it really does.
Also, I've got this one issue, I usually try to be pretty prompt about answering emails, returning phone calls, "liking it" when people are kind enough to post on my wall on Facebook (unless I don't see them) but when I sent an email and an NT doesn't do the same thing or they don't do it at all, I think oh s**t, I've done something wrong, or I've made them mad and I panic and do a bunch of impulsive and idiotic things to try to "fix" whatever problem I think there is when it usually turns out that I'm just reading way too much into things, and that I'm also expecting the other person involved to do the things that I do, because I do things differently. I tend to not understand when people do things the way they want to do them, because I forget to be considerate of what's going on in their lives and what they've got going on right at that moment and think that my way of doing things should be universal.
Another thing I do is when I meet a friendly person, or someone who appears to be that way, I think I reveal too much to them. I do this with women especially because they give off this vibe that they just want to talk all the time, and they do talk all the time. I don't talk as much, but when I want to talk, I really want to talk like about very serious things because they are on the surface in my mind.

I also have very bad eye contact, looking at people's eyes is very uncomfortable for me even seeing my own eyes in the mirror is very freaky. I don't like dolls, you know the realistic looking ones that have pupils and irises because they are too human, their eyes freak me out.

Facial expressions is a big one to me, I get people who say I frown too much, I never smile I get really really embarrassed when I am the center of attention, like if someone is looking directly at me, I turn so red. I hate talking about myself when I am face to face with a person.

Check, I have that.


I know how you feel, I sometimes do the same thing. That's why I try to "play it cool" per say when really I have all the crazy clinginess thoughts running through my head. However, I try to acknowledged that I am being clingy usually before I start acting that way. That doesn't mean I still don't act a little too clingy, but all we can do is work on it and try.



Absolutely, except for lately I'm a little slow, but I actually have a busy schedule right now. I just think it is common courtesy to respond to an email within a reasonable amount of time. Now on FB, that takes some time, but I think that is fine because FB is sorta more casual compared to an email.....but that is all my perspective. Phone calls.....hahahah, nobody calls me. Now, if I used my cell and knew where it was half the time, I might get texts.....but phone calls are a thing of the past (no offense).




Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! As I mentioned, I feel like it is respectful to return an email quickly...but then I forget that other people have lives too. Usually though I get mad at me and the other person (this is totally inside my head of course, because I keep all my crazy up in there) and then I'll be overjoyed when they reply. I think this is just me being a drama queen/worrywart though and I need to realize that while it is nice to get responses...I shouldn't expect them.....so a patience thing basically....greaaaaaat :/



I'm a little bit opposite: I have 2 games I play. There is the game where I talk and talk and talk and talk about a million random trite things and bore people to death (though I do it with great enthusiasm, but eventually that even gets boring). Or if I am feeling shy (which is about 90% of the time in real life around cute guys) I'll be silent as a rock , I'll stutter when I talk and I'll wobble when I walk...



See, I used to have that problem, and while it is not totally gone...it is better. I know what you are saying about the eyes being freaky...at the same time, they are the most powerful indicator of emotion so I gotta eventually learn the skill if I want to gage how people feel. Try looking at the forehead or heir nose or something. Oh, and another way that REALLY helped me with eye contact, is that I took a sign language class in high school for 2 years, and the teacher FORCED us to look at each other's eyes. Yup, it would be hard to be a deaf person with AS because that is what they look at as much as your hands.



Dolls are fine...aside from at night. Then they are creepy.



It's so unfair: I have a face not made for facial expressions. So I have to exaggerate my emotions for people to see them. WE also focused on this in sign language and I remember my friend had a high forehead with perfectly arched eyebrows and she could make her face look like anything on the spot.....I have to try to.


Oh, and One more thng about me: I tend to talk too much about myself.

I've noticed I subconsciously use facial expressions when I talk to people, any people, and it seems to fit in with what sort of thing I'm saying, if you know what I mean. But when I'm just on my own, I seem to scowl. The only reason why I tend to scowl without me really knowing is because it's the most comfortable sort of face to pull, if you know what I mean. When I'm sitting on the bus, I always notice my eyebrows are down in a frown, and my bottom lip is stuck out, as though I'm really, really angry and about to go mad or something. But I'm not at all - it's just the way my face goes when it's relaxed and when I'm not talking. I have to keep raising my eyebrows to take off the angry bad-tempered expression.

1) My poor body language and inability to read others' body language
2) I'm very fidgety and I don't hold eye contact
3) I sometimes say stuff that's inappropriate, childish, or irrelevant without realizing it
4) I get offended easily
5) I have a hard time making conversation because I'm not sure how to keep it going unless I like the topic

That's the top ones.

i also dont know if im supposed to sit with a person or remain with them if they initiate a conversation with you and then you leave for the same place. eg walking to the bus next to person youve just talked to and then not knowing if they want you to sit next to them or if you're even walking together.

Being too objective about people's personal problems, not sugar coating my observations enough.

Not recognising that most people still operate almost entirely from the ego.

out of interest, do you mind if people are 'brutally' honest with you?


My most common social mistake is talking over people.

Not usually. I would be lying if I don't have feelings, but usually I deal with them. Depends on why they are being brutal. It's rare that anyone has to resort to brutality with me, because I'm usually quite reasonable.

Why, was you planning on being so?



I do that too, but I'm aware of it, and can usually reign myself in. And sometimes I think people should be talked over. It's good to have the choice though.