Arashi-taku wrote:
"I ended up walking away because it was like she was challenging me to see when I'd leave her. It's not a nice experience. It's like they're trying to shame you."
People who question why you're friends with them are feeling insecure with themselves....it isn't meant to be an insult to you....they're looking for you to reassure them that they aren't whatever they fear they are. Part of being a good friend is assuaging each others fears. If your fear is that she's attacking you, you need to find a gently way to tell her that after you're done making her feel better.
I'm so glad I've had a mothering friend since I was in middle school. She'd pull me aside and tell me what I said and why it made people not like me. 20 years later, I'm still asking her questions and she's still answering them.
I realise that now. Back then I was an angry immature 15 year old. She sort of forgave me years later on Facebook. I asked her if she wanted to meet up and she insisted that we all met up in a group. I'm surprised she forgave me at all - I couldn't forgive someone for walking away. I've never done it to anyone since.
I'm glad you have a good friend that you've kept for so long. I've never tended to keep friends for very long, but right now I'm losing a load of old friends and gaining new ones. It's weird how it all seems to happen at once - but this time the new friends aren't self-absorbed and I don't think any of them are likely to put me down. AND, they're very easy going people. That's exactly what I need.
01 Sep 2011, 7:54 am
