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How do NTs perceive the dead eye stare?

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Nikadee43
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18 Oct 2011, 8:01 pm

SkipNip wrote:
MrEGuy wrote:
When I was younger I used to stare down a lot. Then I got to listen to idiots who thought they were being helpful ask me if I was depressed and then proceed to extol the importance of looking up.

I hate that BS. When I'm around people at a social event, people often ask me if I'm "alright" as if they're implying that theres something bothering me. In reality I'm fine but I don't display a wide range of facial expressions and I'm guessing NTs only lack facial expressions like this when they're depressed or something.


People said I looked like is was in a bad mood so often because of this (& because I'm not always smiling) that I started to believe it. For a long time I just ignored it and went about my business but after years of hearing it I started thinking maybe something really was bothering me. Messed with my head a lot.



Last edited by Nikadee43 on 18 Oct 2011, 10:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ai_Ling
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18 Oct 2011, 9:22 pm

shrox wrote:
I have a subroutine that calls up a smile, nod or verbal cue every 12 - 15 seconds. It helps in my attempts to appear mortal.


How do you keep track of seconds in your head while ur talking to someone?



shrox
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18 Oct 2011, 10:17 pm

Ai_Ling wrote:
shrox wrote:
I have a subroutine that calls up a smile, nod or verbal cue every 12 - 15 seconds. It helps in my attempts to appear mortal.


How do you keep track of seconds in your head while ur talking to someone?


12-15 seconds, every 6-10 breaths.



Ai_Ling
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19 Oct 2011, 12:01 am

shrox wrote:
Ai_Ling wrote:
shrox wrote:
I have a subroutine that calls up a smile, nod or verbal cue every 12 - 15 seconds. It helps in my attempts to appear mortal.


How do you keep track of seconds in your head while ur talking to someone?


12-15 seconds, every 6-10 breaths.


How do u count ur breaths. Cause when I think about breathing, it stumps my breathing. Like I it bothers me, I feel like I cant breathe. I guess u have some talent for keeping breath counts and sec counts. Cause the vast majority of us cant do that.



RobotGreenAlien2
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30 Oct 2011, 10:27 pm

1/3 of the time is normal eye contact.
2/3 of the time is attraction / aggression.
3/3 is weird.

As for the little movements I don't know but it doesn't seems like they can be emulated so I wouldn't
worry. Most of the information is in the eye contact duration, but I'm not NT



Squirsh
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01 Nov 2011, 12:26 pm

Apparently my gaze makes people feel uneasy. I asked one of my friends about it and she says it's because it makes my emotions much harder to read, which is unnerving to people who're used to being able to read somebody's emotions easily. I try to smile and nod every so often during a conversation to give some indication that I'm not feeling grumpy or upset or worried or any of the other things people often assume.



devey
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01 Nov 2011, 2:58 pm

I've been told to stop worrying and to relax. Haven't heard the 'worried' one in a while though.

Smiling is really important since it shows you're relaxed and also puts the other person at ease. Sometimes people will give you cues to relax-they might make a joke or other light hearted comment. This is giving you permission to be at ease and you can show this by smiling. It can stop people making comments about your demeanor.



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02 Nov 2011, 7:00 am

Squirsh wrote:
Apparently my gaze makes people feel uneasy. I asked one of my friends about it and she says it's because it makes my emotions much harder to read, which is unnerving to people who're used to being able to read somebody's emotions easily.


I think a big part of why some people react so negatively to us is that we make them feel exactly how they make us feel, completely lost with no idea how to proceed. The difference is that we're accustomed to feeling that way.


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