Baffled! Are people allergic to me, or I to them?!

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IITone
Butterfly
Butterfly

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Joined: 1 May 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 14

03 May 2012, 9:07 am

agwhanooo wrote:
I feel like a 7th Grader writing this lol. I'm only a few years off 30 and here I am still having problems with people. Not just NTs. Not just Aspies. People.

I have no clue what it is I'm doing so wrong but virtually every friendship ends disastrously, with me either suddenly being ignored and shunned for seemingly no reason, or the person suddenly turning sour on me, or even the person turning into a bully and rallying others to harrass and even stalk me. Whether I'm open with them about having AS or not seems immaterial; in fact, even a guy who worked in the autistic field ended up rejecting me (I heard from a mutual acquaintance that he thought I was "too Aspie" :roll: ) I had several Aspie friends but even they trailed off and ignored me eventually. Even my own family avoid me.

I'm friendly, upbeat, always up for a laugh, never taking life or myself too seriously, keep whinging and talking about my obsessions to a minimum, have impeccable hygiene :lol: ... yet not only is my social life an ever revolving door but I also seem to attract bullies, backstabbers, stalkers, and people in general who wish to make my life a misery. I'm baffled. What am I doing wrong, I wonder? What do I keep doing wrong that merits rejection and bullying?

Does anyone have any suggestions or simply feels the same way? To be honest I feel pretty alone right now.


Hey! This story really resonates with me. I've always found that friendships never seem to get past the "casual acquaintance" stage and I rarely get to the point where I'm actually having a good laugh or banter with people any more. I used to - I remember vividly that as a teenager, I was always the kwirky off-the-wall one who had a slightly warped but charming sense of humour. I still feel like the same person I always have been but I just can't seem to develop new friendships and people don't seem to respond to me in the way they used to (maybe I haven't "grown up"?).

I have a wonderful girlfriend who I've been with for 3 years now and it's going from strength-to-strength. She's taught me some things about myself that I'm truly thankful for (she was the first to notice my Asperger's what with her being a Teacher) but I just can't help shake that feeling that I need friends, too. I have a friend who lives miles away (I've moved from where he lives to the North of England) and even we don't get on like we used to.

I know how you feel.