Unwritten social rules of Facebook

Post Reply New Topic

I'd argue against that one, because, as in real life, I don't censor myself on FB, and if people don't like it they can just go right ahead and defriend me.

Privacy (even though I use a privacy setting I'm comfortable with, and even among the friends I have on Facebook) is my main issue on Facebook, and a significant one for me. Always knowing at the back of my mind there are some sort of unwritten social rules, this doesn't help.

The rule to follow with privacy is simple: even if you have your privacy settings on maximum, do not post anything you wouldn't want to be seen publicly.

The thing is, I post very little items on my Facebook, it's wall posts from others that are the specific concern. They're fine among the group of local autistic people who comprise my Facebook friends and know what's going on with me, but for example it suddenly became a concern when I met a stunning, very hale and hearty girl in a chatroom last week and added her to Facebook. That's the sort of situation where s**t can inadvertently hit the fan. However I know there are ways of blocking or removing wall posts yet after an intense argument in my mind I chose not to do so, because I didn't see why I should do it just for this one girl.

I just post bland trivial things on FB like, "Yay, first snow of winter!" because you never know how people will take things or twist them around.

I become incredibly self conscious about the social rules every so often, so much so that I'm trying to cut down on my usage of the site.

For example, I may post several statuses a day (a faux-pas I know), and they are rarely liked aside from sometimes one applying to everyone is liked by a few (likely sympathetic) close friends whereas other slightly more popular people get at least 10 likes on just about everything. I don't get it - my social skills in real life are fine?

The number of likes you get per status is directly proportional to the number of friends you have (and how active those friends are).

Don't force confrontations by making wall posts on someone else's wall. Their friends will move in to attack.

Don't put a person you know as one of your interests. Apparently, it comes off as creepy to their friends. Learned that the hard way.

Well thats up to you but I think for the protection of your own self image. Because its easy to post too much about yourself and admit to things that you wouldn't normally say in person. Its really for yourself not that others would be bothered by knowing it.

I might really like someone in person, but really hate how they represent themselves on Facebook. But being real-life friends with someone puts a lot of pressure on you to remain Facebook friends with them. If you un-friended your best friend, I think they might feel a little sad about that.

Thinly veiled personal attacks and passive aggressive status messages will always make the situation worse. Don't do it.

Sometimes, people "troll" and say really inflammatory things for their own entertainment. Don't beat your head against a wall trying to set them straight. << Still working on that one, myself.

Sounding like Eeyore constantly or posting mundane details about your day-to-day habits is not attractive and it makes you look really needy and boring.

Don't post too many photos of yourself, especially mirror shots or "above the head shots".

I agree with Deviant Beauty.

Here are some other important "unwritten rules" (with a common theme I guess).

- Most people add anyone, even people they remotely know, but don't keep in touch with most of their friends. That's just the way it works.

- Avoid double messaging. If you message someone, and they don't reply yet, don't post again about the same thing such as "are you there".

- Its standard that at a certain point a message with someone is too long, and they don't have to respond. They will probably not reply to what you say at a certain point. Don't take it personally. Which is why I would not keep conversations too long (especially with acquaintances).

- On facebook, if you are the one thats doing all of the initiating of conversation with someone, then it is clear that you value them much more than they value you. And if the only time someone messages you is to ask for a favor, then they are not a consistent friend.

- If an acquantance (who you havent talked to in a while) is asking in a status for phone numbers, to have people text them, or hang out with someone, they aren't referring to you.

If you are an acquaintance with someone, and not a close friend, (for example someone who you graduated from high school with but haven't talked to in years), keep your contact with them limited.

- Don't post on their wall often (unless its really important or their birthday).
- Don't "like" most or all of their statuses.
- Don't comment often. Only when its a really useful or witty comment. Like less than 1/3 of the time.

Well you dont have to look at there profile. You can always prevent there stuff from going into your feed by controlling your feed. There are ways of regulating what you want to see and what you dont want to see on fb.

just surf facebook no need to park yourself and attempt to add comments etc...(preventive measure for a aspie)

I am loosing the meaning of using Facebook. Is it only about updating stupid status from "I have not slept for xyz hours" or "my kid has some little signes of a illness, so I am worried if my kid will becoming very ill" or "my fart stinks terrible today" I have lots of photos in facebook, but about no one ever comments on any of them.

A couple, friends of ours, we very rarely meet, is in facebook. She posts stupid uninteressting status like "my baby slept from x to y and so I got very few hours sleep", so she hopes to get pitty responces or whatever. Well, I just don't get it! If I would post every time an status update when I slept bad because my wife snoors a lot and I could not sleep very well, I would spam facebook with such updates! No one really cares! So I just do not post such things. So, I commented her status every parent has such hard first months, it is nothing special at all. Will the next post be about the quality of the diaper content? She replied very angry about me. I should better not reply at all/ not comment at all like about every one else is not commenting my posts. Well, because I hardly feel for this couple, I just kicked them out of my friends list. We only met them twice within 1.5 years - so no big loose.

I realy wonder what for Facebook really is. What is it's use?

Well, yes. I know that. But not everyone seems to know how you can control your newsfeed. I mostly just unsubscribe from people who have mopey or overly-personal status messages but with whom I want to maintain a Facebook friendship for whatever reason. I've found that a lot of people don't even know that that's an option.